Neglecting

DAMN, i dead ass hate when i can't blog. I love the idea of spontaneously writing. I don't know these last 60 hours have been extremely hectic for me. I drank a lot of liquor (a lot for my standards because i can't really drink a lot), made it rain in the club, nearly cried, got really angry, really sad, had an anxiety attack, recorded new music, smoked, and worked.
Yea i know so much....before i get into it i just have to say something to Julian.

Yo Juelz, i lost, i'm not going to force the next like ten entries to reach a hundred. I'm gunna get 99 purposely before tomorrow ends.

By the way i'm like writing this at exactly 11:29 on March 22, 2009.

WOA.

I really can't believe i'm about to be nineteen, seriously. I know it's not TOO big since MAD people in the world have surpassed 19 and even a hundred. which makes me wonder what i know about life.

I really hate the fact that i dwell heavily on the negative when something bad happens to me.
Is this a natural reaction? Is it rational?
What does rational really mean? What is reality? What is life? Is there even such things?
or are we dreaming? who knows. My fault for getting all philosophical.

But sometimes i really wonder, what is the point of love?
or loving someone? Sooo many people love each other yet they hurt each other everyday or sometimes just a couple of times which makes a person NOT want to love them BUT my theory stands that you cannot choose who you fall in love with. PERIOD. No way. You don't know that every single time you are spending time with this person, learning, studying, watching, feeling, with this person, that inevitably that you ARE in fact going to love this person and FOR the rest of your life.
This connects to my other theory that people fall in love only a few times in their lifetime, IF THAT.

AND here is my new theory. LOVE is not strong enough to do anything.
It is not strong enough to:
Keep a marriage/relationship
Keep Trust
Keep From Cheating or compromising your wants
Change you forever
Start a relationship & settle down

That's just a few. It's really ridiculous, if you ask me but then again WHO IS ASKING ME.
I'm suppose to be living my life right now happily. Jumping for fucking joy that in like 4 hours (3 something AM, when i was officially brought to earth out of the place my mother pees out of) i'm going to be a year older. A year older to finishing college. Reaching my aspirations. Getting married. Being able to drink. And blah, blah, blah, blah.

I think i may need anti depression pills. WOA.

This is when i think i'm crazy but ironically i put it all over the Internet and HERE, for my ten followers and other secret followers to read.

~Jam The Fuck Out~