In Conclusion...

So it's a rap. FIN. Last entry of the day. I shouldn't be up. Early ass class. Essay to write. YOU KNOW. All that good/bad stuff.

Today was alright. Maybe i put too much emphasis on things but i'm pretty sure no matter how old you are a BIRTHDAY, is a BIRTHDAY and that motherfucking day GOT TO BE SPECIAL. DEADASS. DEADASS. DEADASS.

So i went to school. God kept me awake all day, yay!
Went to class. Skipped class. Ate food at applebees with my homie. Went to queens to see my P-O-P, just me and him (gasp, shocked face aka home alone face), went to applebees again with him. Argued with some people (not p-o-p), saw my little sisters and brother (except ashley) and blog. End of day.

Special, kinda. Upset, more like a bit indifferent but a bit meloncoly. I'll do it big eventually. I HOPE.

"You mean a lot to me. I swear on that."
You guy(s) know who you are. ya dig?

You know what made me sad? how bad my youngest(of the three of us Ashley, Victoria, Me) of my sisters is technically alone. I know she lives with my step sister, my lil sis, AVA, and my lil bro, JPJR, but it's not the same when you grow up with your big bro and big sis. I want to cry and take her here with me. I DEADASS love her and understand her. My parents want to put her into catholic school (yikes). Aw, man son, some sad shit. She wrote me a card telling me how different it was seeing me everyday to barely seeing me. AND THAT is the worse feeling in the world (hmmm, sound familiar) and if people don't understand how hard of a transition that is, THEY ARE OUT OF THEIR MINDS. SERIOUSLY. THEY ARE.

VICKY, although you don't read this. I LOVE YOU TO DEATH. AND I PROMISE WHEN I GET OLDER (tear drop falls) I'm going to watch over and take better care of you. NOT JUST YOU, but for everybody around me. I was put here to do something special and so were you. WHEN i make it, which i promise i will, i'll be there even more. JUST KNOW, I'm always here. Text. Call. Person. Letter. Whatever. I'm here lil sis through whatever. GOD i owe you a big hug next time. i do. (wipes tear)

.....................................

I think i'm done with this. THanks grandparents and aunt/godmother for the mini-cake, candle, and the ZITS present. lmao. They got me a whole book of the zits i post up. O.D. right? VERY COOL GIFT.

Side note: Nothing beats carvel cake, SORRY. ha ha.

Tomorrow should be better. That's the first of 365 days i'll be nineteen. THE LAST TEEN YEAR.
I am the last TEEN. lol.

Oh and thanks JUELZ for the shout out and Tiff and Carrie for saying happy birthday like twenty millions times. lol.

Until the next day...

~Jam The Fuck Out, i guess~
(mood;hopeful, distraught, but HOPEFUL)
crossing fingers