TGIT

For me it's thank god it's thursday. For real. The week is over but I got tons of work to do this weekend. Research. Catching up in math and tvr. Ohhh and definitely getting my shit right in philosophy. If I do well from here on out, I can definitely convince my teachers to boost my grade, for sure!

Go to school at 12 and work out or go to rfk and try and work out??

SELF REMINDER:
Math extra credit (copy book)
More sources
Call rfk when I wake up(before ten)
And go to financial aid office (people claim I OWE money, ding dong heads! Lol)

Just getting home. Going to ATTEMPT to do work. Shower. Relax and possibly watch notorious.

Feel a little better today. Not dwelling or thinking too much.

Just need some stress relieving. Kiss. Going out. Something from a situation that isn't complicated. Can a girl assist me? No? Fuck it. I'm not looking for anything anymore. I'm letting love and bullshit come to me instead of me going for it. That's the plan I'm trying to stick too besides
Working waaaaayyyy more
Making music
Playing ball
And blogging.

(Yo wes holla at me, want to start the project homie!!!!!)

Eh. Love yall to death.
Love this blog to after death.

:)jamming!

Ain't No One Like Em

Yo eminem will forever be my favorite rapper... Top 5
1)Eminem
2)Jay-Z
3)Kanye West
4)I forgot lol(edit: old 50)
5)(all these are tied)
Charles Hamilton
Lupe Fiasco
Nas
(Mostly old)Lil Wayne

Yo I got to see em in concert before I die! And make a song with 3 of those people on my lists...(I hope the future is good...)

AYO! P.I.C aka Juelz

Hey since I can't comment on your blog from your phone I'll just say a couple things here.

First, keep it real man. I love the artwork you been doing it's crazy man. I'm thinking of going to R.F.K friday so let me know :). I really like your creative ideas and the way you feel. I can see your perspective and mind are growing up and being more college like, which in my opinion is more rebellious.

I guess I can relate because I'm a fucking rebel.

Did anyone else walk out of class at 3 o clock yesterday to ralley against the tution hikes? Or was that just brooklyn college.

Back to you though man, as the for the photo shoot everything will be easier in like what... A couple weeks when school is over we'll meet up and do it up. Shit is just o.d. Stressful I know you know :) anyway I'm proud of you kid and keep going for your dreams...

That goes to everyone who reads this blog too. Angelica, Audrey, Alexis (mad A names) even Jenn who just started reading my blog, I know you guys are pursing dreams and learning about life and if no one tells you then I will... We're all doing the right thing and keep doing that! Stay positive.

I know I haven't been positive like I'm preaching but I'm trying. Dead ass. I know my blog probably has been a little depressing but imworkingonit. :) okay, I promise.

I got to stop forcing life and just relax until it comes to me.

P.I.C if you need me I'm one ring away

Later; Jam The Fuck Out

In Need Of A Booster

I need a beat.
I need inspiration.
I need a studio.
Money. A "hold me down" girl (not necessarily a gf)
I need confidence and a new mentality.
I need to get my sister help.
A plan.
And some money.

I'll be alright if I had that right now.

I'm alright right now but I could definitely be better after my lackluster performance.

I can't even finish this entry. Life goes on...

Shape Up

You know what we need...barber shop music. Dead ass. I have some good ass concepts I'm gunna have to keep to myself.

I want this song on the radio that's playing I'm guessing it's called boyfriend number 2 by J. Holiday... Got a punchline with that. Won't say it in hopes no one will jock me. Lol.

But I think I want to come up with that..."Wishful thinking on the toilet seat" will hold made concepts but of nothing but ILLLLLL music. XV is a new artist I been feeling he really has a unique sound which makes me want to find mine soooo bad.

I got to blog about more stuff too because I've been like a rollercoaster with this shit. You guys who read this need some more positive, fun blog shit. It might up my mood too.
I just need the me and wes project and most likely to succeed to come out and I'll be content. I got 15 songs. Top 11 make the cut, if and only if I am happy with it along with everyone else. I just need some dope shit. I don't want to give out everything and my best, best, best. Favorite shit but at least the closest thing to that.

Ohhh by the way I am waiting to get a shape up. Hahaha. Thus the title. Talk to yall soon :)

Good Morning World!

Okay, so I just kind of woke up. Work in less than 2hrs. Exhausted. Not like I didn't sleep well, just tired and still sick. Once I spit some more flem out, take medicine, get another goodnight's rest I should be alright...I hope.

The weather is spanking!

I can freakin smell it through the windows. The shades are down but I know. Feels like summertime, which is nothing but (hopefully) performances, making money, playing ball, and working out. Once I stop spending so much money, which I will, I'll join a gym I feel comfortable at and which is close.

(Miss those teen college point summers)

Hope crazy shit happends in the summer. Tournaments. Road trip. And of course a summergirl. Maybe someone I have already or someone new. Shit would be gangsta.

(But times are rough, believe me I know)

Got to make more effort and get more hours at work. For real. I don't think I'm a work fridays tho, seems like the only day I can enjoy doing something/nothing.

Wes holla at me! For the ep man!!! June!

Then that'll lead up to Most Likely II Succeed. Talking about depressess yet excites me. Wooo.

Thinking of a promotional skeme. Worried if people are going to like it, meaning the unbiased. Cross my fingers...

Later!!!

I Try

Guess I'm not going anywhere. Sucks for me. At least I try

Left 4 Dead

People are grimey...

That's the first statement. Truthfully I don't care about why "people" chose not to invite other "people," I don't care if it's a personal thing or not, or if it's because you don't like me or you THINK I'm gunna say no, I don't care if you think I'm broke or a cornball, or maybe even because you think I been talking shit. Regardless it is fucked up, especially when you don't no any of the aforementioned things, REALLY.
It's better to tell me and keep it real in this situation, then single me out when I'm in front of the whole situation.

If karma is true and is a bigger bitch than life, well then let it take its course. I'm not going to say I HOPE it takes it's course but I rather say if it happens It happens. FUCK IT!

Now that I have that little perdiciment off of my chest on to new bigger and better things...

You think your getting cool or close or comfortable with somebody then you realize, REAL is hard to come by. Same people bitching about other ppl have the same qualities.
THE IRONIES OF LIFE.

Tonight, I'm probably gunna write a song, drink or get high by myself, while I watch a notorious on dvd and chill out. Not worry about a god damn thing. Ya dig? In college point at that. The lonliest, craziest, homeiest, place I know.

Word up. About to call my man cory for the nick. Fuck it!!!!

Yesterday went to the studio with some crazy ass grown men who have happy endings, pop pills, and smoke tons of cigs that aren't good for their health or mine especially when I'm SICK. Fuck it. Got a song done. I'm a little inspired I think Most Likely II Succeed will see the light of day... Finally. But still in july I want to promote it and treat it like my baby. Then after that the REAL MUSIC begins. It's gunna be fire I hope and I really really hope people like it. Matter fact, I hope I like it. I have to learn how to like myself, crazy huh?

Ahhh the life. Haha. Going to try it to enjoy it. Friendless, bitchless, girlfriendless, partly familyless, and etc.

Might open my wii tonight or play guitar hero... So many options. :) let's try to live life yall. I'll write later, most likely.

Bueno suerte (good luck) to yall. You have my blessings.

"Time For Change"

Sooo...I was listening to Asher Roth's "I love collge" (you can buy his album on itunes for 7.99, promise you won't be dissappointed if you like hip-hop music) and I thought a couple things.

If I get cut from the basketball team, don't move out to brooklyn, or simply get tired of my environment, I've been thinking of other places I could go to school. Ideally it would be best to go somewhere upstate but my other options are Massachusetts, PA, NJ, or florida. But to be honest it's more between upstate (st.mary's, oneonta, and another school) or a d3 school in florida. I want to play basketball for four years, period that's my goal. So far the results aren't outstanding but I know I'm getting stronger physically, now as long as I can continue that, I just have to be more basketball smart, resilient, and have a boost in my confidence, which I'm getting believe me. It's just when I underperform that I get discouraged again. Anyway... Trust me, I'm a be alright.

Florida is my 2nd option cause I guess it would be nice to live near by (not with my mom) for a bit. It's crazy I haven't lived with her for 4 years after living with her for the first 15. Do I miss her? Yea, kinda. Our perspective on life is just a little different but she is still my mom and I love her to death. I think how I see life is very different from how most people see it.

I am an overanalyzist, idealist who loves to dream big and usually see the positive in people. Anyway, yea so I think I need that force that will lead me to meet new people, mostly people I can hang with.

I've met people, KINDA like that but not really. I only see DV as like my only friend and person in that group. DC fucks with me, but he don't hit me up or nothing like DV does but if I move into an apartment it'll probably be with him...the thought is interesting.

Suppose to be going to either RFK or the studio or the movies but uhhh we'll see soon.

Jam the fuck out

I DID IT!

I learned how to post videos from my blackberry, yay! But I can't watch them lol. Limitations, limitations.

"It's undeniable that we should be together"...

Next entry

Loss of Interest

Am I boring?
Too needy?
Too nice?
Too caring?
Too immature?
Too awkward?
Weird?
Persistant?
Young?
The way I dress?
Shady?
Not cute enough?
Not your "type" lol

What's good? Do I not try hard enough? Do we not mesh well, like at all?? I just want to know why people are losing interest in me? What did I do? What didn't I do?
I just would really like to know? Am I not a good enough friend? Yall got better? No better?

Whatever... Had to get it off my chest

The Odd One Out aka The Weirdo

Am I weird or am I normal for feeling weird
Normal like every 3 days I have to shave my beard
But unlike them It's non- exsistant
My mind is trapped in an invisible imprisionment
Is there reincarnation, I want to find out so I can live again
Kill myself, and come back as a magic pen
Bleeding on paper, shedding my knowledge strictly in words
In metaphors, similies, pro-nouns, and verbs
And maybe I can still get high off the herb, or white out
In the rap game, there tryna get all the white out,
It feels like when my thoughts are thought out, like when I black out
Yet I never yell out loud
Although I want to scream and spit at the crowd
For not understanding my message but fuck it, I'll take a bow
And then for an encore, spit for as many minutes as a well endowed, penis
Want to know me search google, for mr.martinez
Visit my family tree
And see why I feel burned every day of every second except when I pee
Dead, maybe, but a star I should be
Feel bankrupt like suge be,
Rock the same outfits with the same hoodie
And I hate catching a woody
Cause no girl, in the world, really wants to do me
So I guess I got to do me
Keep my feelings in the back
Until I stand out like 22inch rhymes on a cadallac
Sometimes I wonder am I wack as fuck
Fuck I'm wack for even thinking that
Confidence is a key, but I can't pick the lock
I'm standing here with a knife looking at the mirror in shock
For even thinking I want to see biggie and pac
At such a young age,
Wish when I was younger i engaged more
Spilled my raged more
Went back to hs and banged ever slut hore, I knew
Cause you only live once
So maybe I should smoke like 52 blounts a day, only if it's dro or haze
Shit, I'm tight cause what am I babbling about
I don't know, I just feel like puffy's first ablum...no way out
I feel like a lot of niggaz in life hold out,
I'll admit, sometimes I'm cautious
Grimey, reluctant, since I'm always exhausted
Cause I use to work at mcds and not an office
Imagine doing what I did, for twenty cents above the minimum
That's why yall in the hood get crack and get a gun
Do a couple hit and runs
But I'm in school, waiting for shit to be done
irionically, it just begun
Still I feel like I'm the only one with no friends
Feeling worse than a single mother with no endz
Do I exaggerate, or just take something small and fabricate
It's tough when my records won't ejaculate, come out stupid, imagine the world plus half the weight
Of the universe, on the arms I use to work, on
For a stupid ball team I'm not guaranteed to be on, next year
When will I finish, next year
I'm going to say a bold statement, the best here
Nothing less allowed,
No blood, no foul
And eventually one of us got to throw the towel, in
Till then I'm a kick it like shoalin
Go into every place I'm not allowed in
And try to live life, with my two middle fingers up
and shut up every person that said I sucked...

Wow that felt good to get off my chest. Another troubled day. Cut class since I was gunna be late already which was stupid but I aint have the work done, which is my fault, but what was I suppose to do?

Till then just dissappointed in myself. Had a bit of a rough day yesterday. About to email my teacher or should I go see her...

Decisions. Decisions. Right? Wrong?

Jam is out :/

Joey Got It Good

Bootylicious... lol

Pushing Buddens from jeff on Vimeo.

Do It 4 The Love...

Wes Studii's Under Estimated Album (Front & Back Cover) 7years in the making!!!

*sigh*


"She doesn't understand it"-Mike J. Gottie (my uncle) http://www.myspace.com/mikejgottie
Wes Studii Videos



{Edit:The one that says Yan is Wes's Partner)
Re-Post (Jam & StudII)


GO BUY THE ASHER ROTH ALBUM TUESDAY AND SMOKE A BLOUNT TOMORROW (i'm a bad influence =( hahaha)

M.oney I.s A. M.ajor I.ssue = My Life Is Full Of Miami

Wow. Being broke fucking sucks especially, especially when u work in a mall. Everytime u walk into that place your bound to spend a buck and your mind wanders all over the place in hopes it could fill itself with a tangiable item. An item that will bring you some sort of happiness, whether it be temporary or what not.

You know what hurts even more????? When people around you are fucking buying shit. You can't do nothing about it. It's wild. And the crazy part is no matter how much shit you have, you find an excuse why you NEED or HAVE to buy something. I wish I could just buy fucking anything I want, when I want, how I want. Ya dig? Then again we all wish that, don't we? Yea. We do!

God I'm o.d tired. I might be a little hungover (recalls all the drinks: 1,2,3...) But I don't really know what being hungover feels like. I really only been hung over once or twice in my whole life, which is kinda crazy right? Nah. It's not but what would I know about anything. Really. I don't know shit. That's reverse psychology, since everyone around my age group believes they know everything. Get it? Nah. Fuck it.

Gunna post some of Wes's videos and the cover and also putting him on my top on myspace. Okay so let me quickly elaborate on the subject matter of yesterday.

Got into a bar and met a numerous amount of new cool people, musically not really a girl I would take home or a guy.I could chill with and say "I love you man" lol. But just some cool people and it was dead ass nice for Wes to co-sign me. "Yo this is my nigga jam young, I be bumpin his shit in the crib, he's nice." Lol. Damn, think I blushed.

I'm a rapper and that's all I really know about myself. Yea weird huh. Well that's me that broke, ugly, non-harlem fresh, spanish looking, non-spanish, boyfriend material ass nigga. DAMNNNNNNNNN.

Back to the party. Grey goose and cranberry is my ssshshhshhsshhiiiiiitititiiitttt. Lmfao. Had like 4 of them. Might be a record. Haha. Lightweight! Freshman! I love college. I'm just out of it right now.

I'll be back soon on my wack ass computer and I'm starting to hate my blackberry. Not blackberries. Just mine. But it's a love and hate relationship.

Jam the fuck out!

Crazy Good News

Looks like most likely II succeed should definitely be the title of my first mixtape and the beginning of a bunch of music.

I'm at wes studii's party (www.wesstudii.com or youtube: wes studii) where I bought an album and got the shit signed by him! It's official. I'm about to be a fucking hoe, with how many niggaz I'm about to start fucking with.

Jam Young N Wes Studii collaboration EP coming.
Due date:june 29th

Jam Young N Yan collab
Due date: one month or less

Jam Young Most Likely II Succeed
Due date:mid June to Early July

Jam Young with new production
Due:mid may

Jam Young with Mike J. Gottie and K.O.S (karlovy, kanary p, realz, off city)
Due:end of may

Jam Young with straight hood
Due Date: possibly by july

Jam Young with a singer
Due date: june

Jam Young with ceaser padrino
Due date: august

Jam Young and Johnny F
Due date:early June

Jam Young, D.Munoz, and Jason
Due Date:Before end of summer

Holy shit. I got a whole bunch of work to do. Guarantee everything will be fire. The EP with wes and my first shit in about 3years are guaranteed to be BONKERS!!!!!

The rest we'll see how I vibe with these new people. If everything goes right expect nothing but illegal substance all over these exclusive instrumentals. Dead ass.

Right now I'm at a bar waiting to go home. I could take a cab and waste money I don't have or I can wait for my friend. Hmmm. I'll blog to keep myself up. Lol. I'm deadass excited. I'm a post Wes's album cover and shit and Charles Hamilton's new project which is dope... 2 go. Lol. You'll understand that later.

SSSSSSLLLLLEEEEEEPPPP.
I want ***** soooooooo bad. It'll come... Hopefully. I'm dead ass praying. Lol.

LOVE YALL

When I'll Be Atleast Satisfied

Just to take a quick detour from the subjects that I said I will discuss, I'm going t quickly list the things needed for me to be partially satisfied in the future. As in everything in life once you get a TASTE of something you want more. So for what I have experienced on my mission to become one of the most famous artist globally, this is what I want... For now.

1)Free Studio Time with several extremely talented and cool engineers
2)4 studios located all over NYC: 1 in bk
2 in the city
1 in queens
3)A manager
4)One show at least every 2 weeks
5)Shows I get paid for, at least over 50 a show
6)Mixtape Release Party
7)The weed man
8)Near by liquor store
9)A fanbase of at least 2,000 people
10)3 producers I work diligently with
11)2 singers and 2 rappers with unique different sounds that I rap with
12)Every month a radio show appearence
13)Tons of women
14)but one that will love me and hold me down regardless of what happends
15)My own apartment
16)DRE headphones
17)Happiness :)

Later! Happy birthday Vicky (lil sister just turned 12)

EDIT: P.S's:
1)Yo Wes this one is for you. Happy birthday to your moms and congradufuckulations for finally dropping your album. Dreams come true. Now let's keep going!!!
2)Saw my xbff twice since we last saw eachother almost 4weeks ago. (Good looks on the margaritas :) lol. I still got a lot of animosity against you and shit I got to forgive you for but all in all, I love you. It was fun. Almost felt like old times. I guess that's just a connection that will never be broken.
3)Watch the video below ppl. It has a slight delay on the words but the song is deadass just bonkers. Haha. On the spot recording with no shirt. Give me your honest opinions, seriously! It took a lot for me to have my shirt off and do it since I'm very subconcious about my weight and body (damn, I sounded like a girl right there) but fuck it!

Jam the fuck out!!

Sneak Preview

YES ANOTHER JAM YOUNG VIDEO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some Quick Notes...

So I don't forget.
My head hurts and I'm watching slumdog while getting harassed by my grandparents.

A few things I will discuss in the near future:
"Love"-the importance of it. What it is. Do we really need it. What's it good for.
"Good Guys"
"Why the hell are girls so fucking crazy"
And some other concpets ill think of later :)
Night

Good Morning

Hey yall.
My body is definitely out of wack. It's wild crazy. I just slept over ten hours again. Pretty much straight through and I just want to keep sleeping. I'm seriously dumbfounded. I feel kind of useless too. This break is turning out not to be so fun. And I feel funky. Really funky. And unaccomplished. Ugh. I need something but I just don't know what.

And the crazy part is soon, the break will be over than an overwhelming amount of schoolwork will need to be done. Fuck.

Later

I Never Get Prom Queen Just The Queen of Drama

Humpty Dumpty/God's Son Ressurection Day

Happy easter yall

If I'm feeling weird, it should be normal because I always feel weird. (Overthink)

Blogging over twitter
Real over fake
Love over hate
Life over money

(Tons Of)Reasonable Doubt

Soooo... I guess I'm writing too many blog entries for people to keep up with. (Insert sad face) I guess shit (always)happens. Kind of had my little excitement of the day taken away from me.
...............(From this point on total honesty is about to occur)..........

Shit is crazy. I have (technically) 9 followers plus a few annonoymous readers I guess from time to time but that's it. Maybe people don't really care about my true inner thoughts, that much or maybe it's that with a combination of me being nervous as to how personal a lot of entries I write is. I only allowed like 25 ppl if that to read my blog. I decided not to invite people to read it. It's too intense and I'm personally not ready for all that pressure, IF people even CARE THAT MUCH. ( )<--- at least THAT MUCH. It's hard because I started this to be extremely truthful, brutal, painful,joyful, exciting, connect, re-connect with people, and also promote my work, my art, my second love, MUSIC. (F.y.I first crush = art, first love = basketball but my second love has taken most of my heart) so I guess I'm going to make a separate blog for when I start taking my music completely serious and when people begin to take my music seriously. SERIOUSLY? Yea...
Wow that was really hard for me to admit. It hurts me. A little more than a bit.

Now for today, therapy was intense. Been feeling extremely weird lately, physically, mentally, and whatever other way there is. Shit is stressful. Everytime something semi-good comes along it deadass lasts maybe a day or two before it starts getting extremely complicated, feeling invested, emotions.
EMOTIONS: the thing that drives us as humans but the same thing that kills us as humans to the point of feeling unhuman. (Feel free to overthink that :))

So me and my therapist had a short session and I hope we get to elaborate that shit. And figure this crap out. Everything. Life. It's all just wild. Sometimes I need a temporary suicide or a fucking remote to slow shit down or put the world on pause while screaming "HOLD THE FUCK UP" let me catch my breathe and smell the roses. I know, what a cliche but I am not a cliche.
huff and puff, catching feelings I am. We all are.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.!!!!

Okay, well followers. Here it goes my honesty box UNLEASHED. I doubt like a motherfucker. Doubt a lot. Everyday I listen and write music. And realize am I really that good? Am I really determined? That destined? Am I hopeful? Crazy? Did I really have a dream or a revelation because god told me, dead ass TOLD ME I was "born to this music thing, aint bob dylan but I was born to sing." I wrote that, in this song from ML2S "Shine". Only one person heard it and she didn't like it. But it's a real hip-hop song. So I hear other people and wonder am I good enough? My flow has been shitty since I started. Idk why. I'm a born lyricst though. I just have a way with words that so many ears get away with the words, I use. Lol. Get it? Fuck it, don't sweat it. Hahaha. I'm rapping, blogging, talking. Then again rapping is just talking over a sound/instrumental.
Ya dig? Yea I dig it.

So I had a little boost of confidence though, on a positive note. I did a little better at work. And right before we left I spit some ill shit to my manager/future rap partner/friend/a lot of things. Lol. He pretty much digged everything I wrote but he loved and I mean loved this verse. It was pretty sick. When I wrote it I was impressed, at the time. The security guards came and loved the shit too. Damn and I just turned 19, like DV says " that's CCCRRRAZY" lol! But I still feel like my delivery needs to be drastically improved eventhough it has but I still have some way to go you know?
And it's a list of shit. My grandma keeps hounding me though. I can't take stress and listening sometimes. It's just too much. And now I understand down time a bit more. Why people want it so bad. But idk. Again. Let me emphasize how much I hate stress. Especially when it coming from woman, family, friends, guys. Whatever. I lost my energy for the conversation. The truth is gone. I don't know why I am so down now.

I think I need some of my own advice or medicine. Idk. That's why the title is reasonable doubt. Another play on words with jay-z's first album and my own insecurities.

Ohh and I didn't work out today. Whatever though. Tomorrow should look up. I hope and swear it does.

And for the spontaneous purpose of saying it: I LOVE YOU. That's not directed toward anyone specific but I feel like people need to hear it. I certainly need some love/loving. Affection is key.

Intimacy, problem or solution. The crazy part is when you want it from someone you can't get it.

End of entry, again spontaneous ending.

~Jam The Fuck Out~

This Is The Part In Life's Movie When i...

Wish everyone in the world prosperity, good health, happiness, and enough money where they don't have to live pay check by pay check.

This reason I'm saying this is because I feel like people have been dying lately. On the news. The woman from queens center especially got me a little shook. And then some other incidents. Dead ass it's just wild and I hope families stick it through and work things out. I already know life doesn't end or come close to any sort of fairytale we've read but it can end up pretty darn good depending on how you (one) handles things.

Everyone has had their share of crazy already and I hope that there isn't much more in your future especially within the lives that I know. So whoever is reading this. Just know I'm here for you. I may not know what to say or do but I'm here definitely for a shoulder, a hug, an ear, and possibly a laugh. Times are hard especially with money and shit, I know that for a fact but hey you got to keep going.

STAY POSITIVE! STAY OPTIMISTIC! KEEP STRIVING, SMILING, and always, ALWAYS STAY HOPEFUL.

(Smells the positive air)
End of entry

P.S. I'm here for anyone

Funny, Yes or No?

My Favorite One

Second...

And In 3rd...

The Other One

Not Another Jam Young YouTube Video

20plus bars of terror... sometimes i feel like i suck though.
(hate begins) Yea you do!

Kanye + South Park = Hilarious

WATCH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And for old times sakes...

Yea ~Jam The Fuck Out~

Home Sick and Sick At Home

Wow. I'm finally in my (sofa)bed again. It's weird. I feel like I finally have a friend but it's been so long. I hope I'm not violating by hanging out with him soo much. To elaborate I stayed tuesday night and wenesday night and most of today chilling with DV. It was fun. We watched basketball together, watch some paranoia shit together, talked, ate fried chicken, detoxed (lol) I guess, and just chilled out. Prettý wild. Tuesday night I played ball and my team won their first game (it was my first game, so what does that tell you?) I'm the x factor!!!!

2nd game I busted my lip. Hard body(wow, I haven't used that since I was like 15. Wow I miss being young). It's still messed up and I didn't really like this kid I was playing with so whatever. Then I played rock band and camp. Mad fun.

Watching two and a half men it's hilarious.

Wrote like 2 verses. My man wes studii is dropping an album the 18th which is also my sister's birthday. He's having an album release party that's going to be like my first one. :) I'm excited. Everyone should cop his cd. Out of support. He's nice. Won't ever make it mainstream but he's nice. Of course I don't like EVERY song I hear from but for the most part I respect his movement.

Underestimated. Is the title.

Go to youtube and type in wes studii. There's a couple videos of him there also the video that I made when we were in the studio.

Also I think he has a website, I think it's www.wesstudii.com but I'm not certain about that.

See, I'm not the typical artist. Everyone deserves to shine and I'm here to share the love. Ya dig? I care and I wish more people were like that. And on some honest, cocky shit, I'm fucking a beast. My flow needs improvement but don't worry ill get it up!

Jam the fuck out. Might post up some videos. Its been a long day. Check out the other entries too. Love yall who still read this and who still blog.

www.twitter.com/jamdreams
~Jam the fuck out~

Beautiful/Music Day

First, I think I need a tattoo. Lol. Maybe not need but maybe want. Just don't know what to get. I haven't really been outside but it looks gorgeous. About to just lay outside and feel the breeze. That'll make me happy.

Dv let's go!!! Lol

My goal for the week...
Record songs.
Watch slumdog.
Write like 6 songs.
Maybe go to a knicks game.
Poetry club.
Enjoy.
Make money.
And shape up.

Life I'm ready for you.
More entries to come...

Sleep

Death is upon me
I can see it walking pass me
I can feel it getting closer
As my eye lids strive to hold up
My body is exhausted
Fighting the stresses of everyday life
So I cannot move and counter death's next move
We are stuck in a chess match
Eventually someone will win
And somone will lose
In the end, we know it will not be me
Bloodshot. Eyes.
My senses are not fully receptive but I can smell him around me.
Hope and survival seem grim.
As I swing my hands in the air to fight the wind.
With no prevail.
I drink coffee and put cold water on my face.
Still I am half in a dream and in reality.
Goosebumps.
Please don't take me now.
I bitch. No longer a man.
As he looks me up and down
And grips my hand.
I am gone.
Into the world where things apear real but are not.
A dream.
A dream.
Like King.
I have a dream.
But will wake up from it? Ever?
"Sleep is the cousin of death"
Nas said.
So I must fight it. Until my unkown untimely last meet with him.
You...

I guess that's a little how I'm feeling this morning. Surreal. When everything finally feels in place the pieces get jumbled. It's all a fucking puzzle. I really don't blame life anymore but rather things in life that make it savage, that make it a jungle to live here.

I know I'm talking in like this poetic, unusual style so I really don't know how to express myself any other way. It's wild. I guess we'll see what happends.

I'm gone.
Jam

My Favorite Rapper In The Whole Wide World Is Back...

Tell me what you think?

I feel Eminem's swagger and objective is different. He's older, smarter, and not so wild :/ do i love him, yes! Is he the greatest, most likely. Will he be the same,no but that doesn't mean it's not great, right?...

And a cool Pepsi Commercial

Illy!
~Jam The Fuck OUt~

I'm losing all creative motives so this is going to be my title

Yea. I know just by not being creative I'm being creative. Haha. I'm a fucking g. Tired. Hopefully going to bed soon.

Go buy the jadakiss "the last kiss" cd for real. I bought it but just haven't listened to it yet. Still It's probably going to be one of the best cds of 2009.

Long day. Dead serious. Stressful. Up and down.

Whatever. Entry done.

Jam the fuck the out.

Microsoft Word.

One.
Anomoly?
Lonley.
Full.
Confused.
Love.
Music.
Life.
You.
Me.
Us.
Embark.
Call.
Unanswered.
Confused.
Word?
Yes.
No.
Constantly.
Swirls.
Parrallel.
Difficult.
Up.
Late.
Down.
Latelý.
Kinda.
Tired.
Impared.
Greatness.
Legendary.
Timeless.
Lyric.
Poem.
Explosion.
Realism.
Love.
Homeless.
Complications.
Music.
Tatoo.
Fustration.
Gone.
Microsoft.
Software.
Word?
Word.
...
Weirdo.
Odd.
Me.
...

untitled

Don't really have anything specific to write about. Weekend has been long and hectic. Stress meter has been up and down. Haven't really wrote much in the last week maybe because I've actually had a social life. I think I'm one of a few people who really doesn't have the same sex friend they can call and just have a heart to heart to. Or any friend that I could be like... Can I just come over and hang. That's crazy right? Maybe that's why I loved "I love you man" so much because I need a sidney, a mike, a julian, a danny, a david, in my life. Well the last 4 names are what I have closest to a best friend/brother relationship. To be honest maybe one day me and julian or me and david will be that way but if not, I hope I find somebody... Word? Word.

This chick ain't picking up my phone calls. Hate when they do that. NEEXXXXXxTTTT subject.

Uhh, I love you man.
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Walking home. Cool night friday. Went bowling for the first time since the last time. Ate at fridays first time since the last time. Both before the new year and once I became a hs graduate. Same person. Soo it was weird cool. Being the youngest one and my virgin liver. Ha

Last...
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I feel like the last blogger alive but shouts to audrey and alexis for keeping blogging alive.

Later

P.S. Trying to get use to twitter

Fucked Jam

This Just Blew My Mind...

Why Roca-fella ended... :(

Whatever

Hoes will be hoes.
And bros are STILL guys.
So if your bros meet your hoe
Assume you'll break ties.
Why? Because guys have 2drives and 2 minds
Brain and dick, money and pussy
Think about it guy! You might be the exception
And this is the only correct, perception
But whatever, yea, whatever

Hoes will suck, Literally
And hoes will give a fuck, seriously
For the right price or amount of G
I am a bro, a guy, and the exception
Still why won't they go after me?
I don't know, they'll go and DO the guy AFTER me
Even with no religion, it's blasphamy
You might receive all the afftection
Vut this is the only correct, perception
Still whatever, yea, whatever

Guys will be dicks like the vice prez, Chaney
guys will think with their dicks, no brainy
i mean brainer, maybe that's why women and NOT hoes
look at males as foes, except the exceptions
but what percentage does one expect to encounter
or accept the exception?
Maybe this is how the world just works these days
and why people get drunk, smoke cigs, and haze
if so, then why am i not getting paid and/or laid
just laid off, paid off, and bbbllooowwwnn aaawwwaaay
Fuck it, shit is simply too confusing, but if i'm the exception
and YOUR the exception, just know that this is the only correct,
perception
but whatever, yea whatever

Whatever!

lol. Poetry is crazy, wack, and fun

The Day After

April fools was yesterday only got pranked by one person and the person is an idiot. Lmao.

April fool's project in 2010?
Sounds like a fun idea...

If you don't know I just fucking love music and blogging. I don't know if I can ever blog on the computer again after having this blackberry. I need a case though. Bad. Any takers?

And is it me or my birthday just came and went. Oh shit! It was almost 2 weeks ago. That's c-c-crazy. Shouts to DV who doesn't know about the blog. Lol.

I'm in class typing this shit, my fault for any typos. I'm tired as hell. Just went to be slept on, sleep, and not be slept on. Over think?

Slept on(by a woman)
Sleep(alone or a woman don't matter just want my pillows)
Not be slept on MUSICALLY.

I have to do a presentation in a few. I did the presentation almost a month ago but I'm doing it now. This class, TVR 16.5 lol. Type fun sometimes.

Last, why the vacation might suck;

Lack of recording music
No women (lol, told Alexis how much I love women, not every women is a bitch)
Not going on vacation
Spending money for no reason
Might not work out.
I'll actually miss school. School NOT class. Lol. I don't know why I'm so lazy and so turned off by school and the idea of studying for the first time.

Yea, I suck.

Oh next, next tuesday basketball team going to get comemorated in borough hall.

(Chant begins Broooklllyynn)

Jam the fuck out!

Can't Do It Like Me

Ever been in class, trying not to fall asleep and felt like you needed to blog about it? Right after u ate a halal gyro with doritos and a sweet tea for a dollar from Arizona? But are still taking notes while talking to people?

No? Never done that. Well guess what...

YOU CAN'T DO IT LIKE ME! Lmao.

Right after this I have a fucking 3and a half hour class. That shit is rough especially when your sleepy. Plus it's a film class. Damn.

Okay I'm going to try and pay attention but if not goodnight.

Jam the fuck out from the blackberry ;)