Is It Impossible...

This is an old entry i had to end up finishing.
IS IT IMPOSSIBLE...
to achieve your dreams?

I'm reading all of these magazines, how guys barely older than me are blowing up and i'm really wondering can i achieve my dreams. It's a very difficult question and concept. Like i know accomplishing your dreams is possible, it's been done, but reading about people that have "made it" while sitting in a t-shirt, eating cereal, in college point, at 20years old...i can only imagine. People talk about realism. Realistic goals and for the most part i've always had that. I've always also stretched beyond that. Maybe what i accomplished though wasn't a lot, or enough, or BIG in the grand scheme of things. I mean i feel like i done something. I can make a list and go on. But do i compare myself? i can compare myself to the people i know but then i can compare myself to people who have achieved more at my age and a little older.

In lets say 2 years...can i be on stage rocking at XXL like some of the artists i'm going to see in a couple days, the same artists i'm reading about. The same people i've always admired. I mean i been doing music since i was like real young and now i'm in my 20's...like HOLY SHIT. A lot of people give up around these days. They have kids, accidently or not, they finish college, do a lot of shit. THe crazy part is that it's the MUSIC INDUSTRY.

I feel like i was born to do something special. I know i HAVE potiential. But a lot of people do and a lot of people are "rappers" and i KNOW a lot of people feel the same way i do. How am i going to make this happen...i'm more focused than ever to find out how but i don't know what else to do. I just gotta push and hopefully i'll find the connects, gain some people. I have to be optimistic and KNOW i'm going to make it.

For everytime i slept on a couch bed, for everytime i washed dishes after playoff basketball games until 12, to get 6hrs of sleep, to go school. For everytime i missed my mother and she was in Florida. When i was kicked out of my friend's house. For every single struggle i've seen people, my family, my friends, my loved ones been through... i do this for myself first but them next.

I just wanted to end it on some dope shit...individualism...check the video below.
P.S.

Let's Talk Music

Alright, wassup yall.
I know the first decemeber entry is over due, for those who still read my blog (thank you :)) but let's start it right. The 19th will be the first OFFICAL year of this blog, which i'm proud to say. One hell of a year, lol. Crazy but yea. I actually have a game in a few but i decided to provide you guys with some new music i've blessed my ears with.

1)Jared Evans is a singer/rapper who is signed to interscope. People like him, i have a wierd opinion on him because i'm not sure what to think of him yet. BUT this song above is hot, like real hot. i would've liked a 3rd verse but enjoy it.

2)Miley Cyrus. I'm not gunna front, i'd probably pipe. lol. But on the real that song is crazy. It really boosts my mood. I deadass listened to it 3 times already today. Call me a loser but Miley's got a fucking hit.

3)50cent's new single that in my opinon, with a known singer, and a few little add-ons here and there could've been even crazier than what it is right now. Just my opinion on it. BUT the reason i'm posting it is because he actually talks about his baby mama and shows a sort of humility he hasn't shown in a while. I feel like that's when an artist is at their best therefore this is one of the better tracks on the album.

DIG IT!

Just as a sidenote i am continously writing. I still haven't found the niche or correct time but whatever. Aslong as the process is coming along. If i have off this sunday from work (cross fingers) best believe i'm trying to get into that booth one way or another. I got some tricks up my sleeve. Once i get certain beats, producers, confirmations, and other artists that i hope to work with, my mixtape will certainly be a topic of discussion (at least in my circle) in hopefully places i thought it would never go. But if i am unsuccessful in my goals, that will not stop me because this is just the first step.

Last thing: Shouts to Hannibal King, appreciate the talk, the advice, and the future help on this project...

Title: TBA
Still a possibility:
"Most Likely II Succeed"
"A Reason 2 Believe: The Mixtape"
"90's Baby"
"INK: Industry's New Killer"

Need To Enrich Your Life? Listen to Will

Yo i swear i wish i knew jay-z, wish Will Smith was my father, and that i was dating jennifer anniston. But on some real shit, i've talked to you guys about the connection between my real father and Will Smith, so when i see Will Smith it's really wierd for me. Maybe that's why Pursuit of Happyness is like one of my favorite movies. That shit is emotional and i'm dysfunctional lol. I guess that makes sense. But for real take ten minutes out your day and watch this video. It's everything you're scared to hear and everything you don't want to do but should.

This is EXACTLY why I NEED the IPHONE in MY Life

One word: Crack

Holy FUCKING SHIT...

Now i usually try to stay away from perverted shit on my blog unless it's subliminal but after seeing this TWICE...holy shit. This was posted on twitter by a couple people but i couldn't see it because i was on my phone. NOW that i viewed it...you will understand the title of the entry. That's all i can say. I'm turned on, amazed, and in total complete shock. I must say that from what i've heard, and experienced that white girls dominate the category of "giving head" and there's no doubt this is the reason why.

I'd also like to say she has that shit down her throat. You could see it moving. My shit (referring to...rhymes with Martinez lol)... let's say she would eat me alive, in 2 minutes.

Damn, i want to rant but i'm speechless at the same time. WTF...
life yo

Mood Ring Part 9: Soundtrack 2 My Life (CuDi Edition)

Before i finish my small essay, i just wanted to share this with you. This dope ass song. This should be a little sneak preview of what Kid CuDi's ablum sounds like and what he may bring to music in the future. You have to be able to relate.

Sometimes you let the music speak for yourself.
"I got some issues that nobody can see
and all of these emotions are pouring out of me"

Mood Ring: Part 8 "Empire State of Mind"

Hey yall, told yall i'm on my grind. lol. Anyway, this mood ring goes out to a new favorite song from Jay-Z's BP3. The song is, well amazing! It's so different from what he usually does/has done and Alicia Keys sounds magnificent. Many reviews i've read says that she sounds "pop-py." I must say i beg to differ. Live or in person i know she sounds amazing and is just as beautiful as her voice. As for Jay-Z "What More Can I Say" "He's an idol in my eyes" (Kanye West) and i just hope i get to work with him somebody seriously. I know H-O-V probably has his ego trips but i think and hope that deep down he's as good as he portrays himself to be. Everyone can be a dick so i don't knock him for that. It would just hurt never to be able to do a song with him...
Anyway, enjoy this one and i apologize if i'm jockin carrie, jockin carrie lol. Someone will get it.

"The city never sleeps, better slip you an ambien"
"I do it for the culture"



Go buy that Blueprint 3!!!

Review COMING SOON!

Mr.Feature (Repeat)

Here's a video i did for one of the songs since i didn't want to put it for download since i don't know what the fuck i'm doing musically except recording. I'm actually trying to find some beats now. But tell me what you think. I'm on the third verse so be patient. The song is hot without me but i think i had a little umph in it. Tell me what you guys think. i just needed to get something out. This entry will make me feel better. AND i apologize in advance if my video's suck haha. Let's gooo!!!

Special Recommendation!

To Hannibal King (that's his real name).

Below is his mixtape, well i should call it Album because i know he worked EXTRA HARD to make this happen. I never met him personally, at least i don't think because it's crazy how we're connected through several people. Here's the ironic story. When i started recording around the age of 15 i recorded at this kid Jay's studio (J Conway) to be exact. He started a group called 4DaGreen in College Point/Whitestone with a couple people that i knew. Formally this kid named Ism, who'se sister Jessica Cabellero went to school with me. Ism real name is John, we use to play ball all the time and on the low i kinda looked up to him. I thought we were kind of alike. Anyway, Hannibal use to be a part of the 4DaGreen group and knew the producer/egineer that would hold our sessions @ J Conway's studio. Wild. I actually bought the 4DaGreen mixtape they were selling but unfortunately due to a fall out Hannibal was not on the final product, rapping or producing. After this he just focused on producing. Now this is even crazier, he went to Towsend Harris. Where a friend of mine, Vanessa Ng, who also dated David Reyes in 8th grade went to. I talked to her about a month or two ago and found out she has been dating this guy for the past 2 years. Next thing i know i see this cover on 2dopeboyz and am like WTF. that's crazy (and good crazy). J Conway is actually on the project as well if you take a look at the track list.

Now i hit him up and facebook and long story short hopefully in the near future we will be linking up to create some dope, new, oldschool hip-hop. He seems like a real honest dude and his production is pretty hot. I personally havent YET heard the WHOLE project but so far i'm impressed. Makes me more eager. Anyway, so basically to show gratitude for him even talking to me and considering link up i'm going to promote his work. That's how i feel is the only way i can repay him and it is a nice gesture period. He doesn't know i'm doing this of course (at least not yet) which is okay because it's out of love. Just the way i did for the Weiners, who i hope are also doing better :).

So check it out, please. I will edit this entry once i write a small review on it. (why?) Because i can. Holla!

http://sharebee.com/756d5d83

Reliving: Mini-Mixtape

What's good yall!
Jjust wanted to put you guys on, i don't have an official date or anything. I wouldn't even call this a project really. i just decided instead of just releasing every track separately i'd make it into like a mini-mixtape called "Mr. Feature." Ya dig! it's me on 4 other people's songs, who left a space in their song to rap on and i have taken the opportunity to excute on it. There will be an intro explaining the project and not to take it as like "hey promote this shit." In my head i'm more like hey you guys haven't heard anything new from me since march and HEY i'm still alive and grinding hard (which my followers and people close to me KNOW) but others not too much. Here's the B.S. cover i made for it.

Might talk to Julian about doing it over or a backcover. I'm working on a backcover but if i don't make one it's whatever. I'm going to the studio real soon. So i'm just prepping ya dig!
Updates coming today/tonight/tomorrow before work.
Let me know what you think i'll either post a link for one of the songs or put it on youtube.
Later!
EDIT: Track list
1. Intro (Featuring Jam Young)
2. Watching Me Remix (with Shawn Chrystopher)
3. Keys Remix (with Trey Songz)
4. Kiss Me Thru Da Phone Remix (with Mike Posner)
5. Bruce Lee (with XV)
Bonus:
Fabolous 3 (with Johnny F & eZ)

most of the artist you won't know but they're pretty big on the hip-hop blog stuff. So i'm promoting them while promoting myself. :) hope yall enjoy.
First leak will be the Keys Remix, that's probably my favorite haha

Do You reAlly Wanna Know What I'm Thinking?

Money. Not getting fat. Music. Music. Music. Watch what I eat. Basketball. Music. Basketball. Killing myself cause I'm at home all day. Learning how to drive. Masterbating. Fucking. Music. Fucking. Basketball. Not getting fat. Worries.

That's basically ALL my thoughts. Then repeat the cycle until I fall asleep.

I'll refresh this tomorrow.

And I got to post up the Bill O'Reilly non-sense.

I should try to read and get a mixtape full of music done. Actually I'm calling up some studios tomorrow and going to try and get this other kid "william" 's number from my mom's job n see if he wants to hang out.

I'll be back in NY the night of the 24th I believe. Just in time to see my grandparents one last time before they go to DR. Tear drop. I'm a call them tommorow I miss them.

So how does this title sound:
"The Wackness" based on the movie title. Hmmm.

How does all this sound:
"A.D.D M.E"
"Most Likely II Succeed"
"TBA"
"Dying II Live" (aka my street album then back to the mixtape: Jay-Z project, Reason 2 Believe 2.O, and one other shit).

Everything is coming in triples and I got o.d. Things going on in my head.

About to go on twitter, push ups, sleep, waking up at like 11:30 :)

Nighty

202: Re-Do

Ayo! I am dumb excited about everything... the trip is moving kinda slow but I kind of still want to/gunna extend my trip regardless. I just need to be in the studio on some real shit. I deadass have at least another 20 songs to record and then I have to re-record some shit but fuck it. I'm getting two mixtapes done which is fanstasmically awesomillion. Yea I just made up my own word. Mixed fantastic with orgasmic and awesome with a million but it's hot. I think I got some fire stuff going.

If I can record two songs for either mixtape n then have one for the other than it's gunna be hot fire. I deadass have like 23 songs recorded(about 16/17) most people haven't heard and I keep working on more freestyles. Technically if I wanted to get the freestyles mixtape done it would be in probably 3 or 4 more sessions but I'm a chill. No timeline. No pressure just mad fun.

But I think the title will probably be called "ADD, the Free-styles" no song above 2 in a half minutes. So far I got some bllllooooddd fire stuff. I'm a record like 30 and cut it down to like 15. The other mixtape is a little more serious cause I only want twelve. I may change my mind though.

As we speak I'm working on the video for the audio below and I got to re-do like 2 videos on youtube and then do another video. I'm getting some ideas from people. I'm a be putting some freestyles up though. You'll see I'm dumb excited yo. Lol.

Anyway, florida is treating me alright though. Went to a house party, met some girls and some cool ass dudes. Drank a little. Guess there goes those 2 weeks of soberness haha. Thank god I couldn't smoke the pipe I didn't wanna get high anyway.the dude's name is chris that I first met. His house, his party. He works with my mom which he told me was wierd. But he's a really cool guy.

I would try to get a job but fuck it. Next year.

Anyway, I hope yall saw the michael jackson memorial. Hella crazy. Mad sad. The mariah carey performance was crazy. I'll dedicate another entry tomorrow to it. I mean I have to blog about it so I'm sorry if it annoys you.

Just thought of some crazy shit that happend over a year ago...that's crazy yo. Haven't messed with anybody in a min. And wild crazy months been passing by. In 3 months it'll be a year since I basically was (almost) with somebody. Wild!! On some serious shit. But it's all good. Eventually it'll come. Not her per say but somebody. Somebody to mess with, hang out with, act like we're bf/gf but not be unless shawty could change my mind. But I'm tryna be single until at least 22. well hopefully but if I get famous who knows. With the way groupies are and the way the male body works I ain't trying to fuck up anything "real."

Wow. Sorry for that rant. Shouts again to deville, berry, julian, audrey, and everyone else who reads my blog :) but aren't bloggers. Hehe.

Anyway. I'm chilling with my sisters so gotta go. Wish you luck ma. Be calm and positive and tryyyy please. Later.

199: Do You reMember The Time...

Hey yall

I haven't been fully blogging but I have done enough justice representing my mood through youtube videos and songs. Right now it's dumb early, I haven't seen 7 o clock since school ended. DAMN

Well happy belated July 4th by the way. This year was interesting considering my "o so" interesting last year BUT whatever, life moves on in a positive way and let's keep it that way.

Soo I got a little typsy yesterday, started freestyle, world priemered (terrible spelling) me and johnny's song, and just chilled out. Actually met an egineer who makes beats from chicago. Chill ass dude. Has a studio in times square so when I save some money WATCH the magic that happends... :)

F.Y.I I'm not even mad anymore about petty things like being invited and seeing certain people. Can't even say fuck it. Cause it's not worth that.

"In 5 years you said we'll meet up for a cup of coffee, well it's been longer than that, I can buy you a drink, yup time flies like that" -Jam Young "How You Doing"

Sooo I been living in college point the past few weeks up to today, the day I depart new york city for about 2 weeks and live the west palm floridian life. Interesting right?Nah! Lol.

I don't know I feel invigorated to write, I'm kind of excited about life, new adventure, new people. I'm still bitter, distraught, dissappointed, and broken hearted but I'm mending the pieces and slowly but surely am progressing.

I'm also an alcholic and a pot head lol. Nah. I believe in moderation, I could never get to that point. (My stomach hurts right now waiting on the longest line in history).

Can I tell you it's one of my fantasy (and probably one of yours) to either sit next to or meet someone hot on the same flight. Awww man. I pray one day it happends. I mean I don't know about any sexual escapades but at least "bagging" some chick would be nice. And just to add I have no girlfriend, nothing close, I'm not talking to anyone and the thought kinda sucks but whatever. I'm not dwelling or over thinking too much. I'm comfortable content. For now.

Soooo as of the last few weeks that's why the minimal blogging and the beginning of plan "re-birth" has been executed pretty well. I'm having a minor setback with certain people/person but it's all good. I get to see my mom today!

I haven't seen her since her birthday last year I think...god damn. It's been a long ass time. Makes me wanna cry but whatever, her little boy is growing up.

Now you wanna hear two crazy turn of events: I just saw my mom's husand/exhusband on line a few ppl ahead of mr. And the second ironic thing is that...I actually don't remember. I'm just really hungry.

Sooo I'm gunna miss therapy for 3 weeks and that has been going really well actually. We talked about michael jackson who I wrote/recorded a tribute song for. I'm working on a video so any pictures, photos, videos of anyone u know or of you please send them to me so I can incorporate them in the video. I wanna get it done by the month anniversary of his death. AND I'm trying really hard to rent a lounge in order to perform on his b-day so I can perform and "rock with you" lol.

ohh I remember what was the second crazy thing the guy checking in my bag thought I was 17! 17! Wtf?!?!

I know I barely have facial hair, and have a babyface but 17!

I know more hair makes a person seem older and I just got a haircut (shorter than usual I must add) but 17! I'm like 8months away from 20. Lol.

To paraphrase he was like "oh he's not 18, 17 years old have to go inside to check their bags" and I was like WHAT?!?!

I must also confess I have not focused on basketball much at all and just been on my hanging out, drinking, smoking, partying bullshit. But I have recorded 4 tracks this week and 8 the last two/three weeks. Proud? Yea a bit.
My old rap friend (who gets on my nerve from time to time)

Omg, another turn of events (sorry for the sporadic talk) he's on my flight. He better not be in my row lol. That would be tooooooo ironic. I'm not nervous or anything. It's just wierd.

I love yall. Yall means people. Everybody. Especially the bloggers who I follow and who follow me. We run our society and hopefully the non-judgemental intelligent society too.

Alright well, I guess my time of getting drunk will be over for the next two weeks or we'll see :).

I'm on four hours of sleep on the flight so I want to go to bed. Night. Until later.

Jam :)

Apology

Sorry for the rant. I'm not suppose to be up right now and after this entry I swear I'm going to bed. I just idk I needed to blog. Sorry about the big mess and guck I just put out there the last two entries prior to the kanye video.

I need/ed a release. It's crazy. Maybe once basketball and music pop off I'll be sooooo much better. My cold is alright just got to get rest again tonight. Another ten hours and I should be alright. Wooo. This week or two is going to be long. Mad recording and fixing up shit.

This is the plan:
Copyright lyrics
2 interviews;one before and after the release of the mixtape
Find a host
Make business cards
take off 2 videos on youtube;replace one with Uptown edited.
Photoshoot.
Create two videos.
Dat piff.com.
New blog.
Internet flyers.
Figure out the single.
Send the mixtape to Rhymestyle aka Hip-Hop State of Mind*
Send it to two other small blog sites.
Send it to everyone on facebook and myspace and then some.
Goal:1,000downloads by the month anniversary
Success:600downloads by month's end
Honest reviews; via the blog site.
Find 2-5 location spots.
Throw a end of the summer party.
Get an interview at brooklyn college radio.

God damn, right? Now is that promoting or what? I think/hope so. I'll problem drop a couple more freestyles on the net.

I'm thinking...

August 18 or the 25th to be safe.

The single I'm going to try and go to some internet radios as well as college radio. So let's gooooooooo

Got to take this alka seltzer cold plus, lmao.

Today I went to work and got gwopp!!! Yay!

Going to bed wish me betterness.

Most Likely II Succeed...

Am I Right?...or Am I Right?

Okay, now I want your opinion on this. My father really doesn't pay for anything for me. Not school books, not school, not food, not anything. My mom pays him child support (for me and my sisters) and I don't see any of that, nope not a dime. Yes my dad doesn't make A LOT of money especially to support (4 kids that live with him), my sister who doesn't, and me (although, as I just said I don't see anything). THE ONE THING my dad does pay for is this...my phone bill BUT NOW he may not even pay for that. Which is on a family plan, (I don't go over my mins or anything) so it's not even like ten dollars to have me on (but if I had my own, with the iphone it's at least maybe 50 a month).

Is it reasonable for me to argue and get upset at this??? I know I'm 19 years old but I work ten hrs a week with a salary, ten cents over minimum wage. And that metrocard nonsense is gunna kill all of us but am I wrong? I really don't think so. And my wonderful readers can try and change my mind so I can see it another way but...NAHHHHH
I'm right? Right? RIGHT!

New Excitement

Today we're going to set the blog up a little differently aka more organized. Lol.
Here we go...
Mets Game:
Today was my first game at citifield. WOW. The place is really amazing. The food, the set up, the seats, the vibe, the stadium (outside and in). The place is smaller but it's fresh. I couldn't eat anything because of my stomach, which hasn't acted up since I took medicine. I still had fries though BUT no cheese :(. Lol. I sound real fat, I know. The game was real cool, of course it had to be a cold day. Didn't rain, thank god! Livan Hernandez pitched great. Julian was there but I didn't get to see him or anything. Just glad the met's won!

Cavs vs. Magic:
This game is crazy...it's about to end. It's been a thriller, looks like cavs are going to lose. Rough. Idk. It's like destiny, James and the cavs have to take it. I know the feeling of that (e.g. Rfk high school).Shit is crazy though. Magic are playing phenemonal. It's crazy. Lebron missed the game winning shot...smh. Hurts me. Everybody been waiting for Kobe-Lebron or at least Lebron and Carmelo. We'll see. About to watch my baby, Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) on friends.
Virus: I think I either had a virus or food poisioning. My stomach has been fucked up since 3:30 last night, right before I went to bed which didn't allow me to sleep. So I had soup and a lot of solid shit to eat. Ehh. Want cereal.

Dad:
(been missing my mom and the comfort of a women, meaning a women not related to me, who finds me attractive, great personality and blah blah, don't have that but yea)
Tomorrow, I am getting my iphone :). I'm a little spoiled. I know. But I'm paying for it and I have the upgrade so WHY NOT. Fuck it, right? Haha. And I'm getting my new ipod. Shit broke and the apple store is giving me a new one. My dad is going with me, haven't seen him in a couple weeks. We're gunna eat, hang, get it, and watch a movie. I know he's broke or whatever and I haven't asked him for anything since I was 16(barely anything) so I understand it already.

Long Road Ahead:
Anybody see the episode where Monica is talking/teaching Chandler about women's spots? Like their "holes" now I know the majority of people who read my blog are women and I know this is awkward to ask or discuss BUT she says there are 7 holes. Now I'm not a rookie at this (assume what this is) but I'm not a master by any extent. I like learning, listening though. What 7 is she talking about...look it up. It's an older episode like in the beginning of the show (before phoebe gives birth). The episode also includes Joey working in the muesum of natural history with Ross.

Anyway, I love that show.

I want to go on a road trip (f.y.I) I got to get away from this city and everything (besides going to florida). :)

Hamptons (watching sex in the city again, I really hope I'm not gay, lol)

So many ppl lie about their age when they get older it's crazy. lol. And I think fans or ppl come on to strong. I have to work on that.

Next, I'm going to the studio again friday. May drop by to watch the RFK baseball team try and win their quarter finals baseball game. I hope they win. I want jordan to at least go to the semi-finals or finals, even if they don't win. I'm a lil envious of him and trevor for some reason but I get over it. No reason to be envious, we're all blessed in certain ways. I want them to do extremely well/amazing.

(Side note: catherine zeta jones is hot, still)

Want to do a jello shot? Anybody want to help get that accomplished? Maybe.

About to sleep. :). Want to write more but can't think, trying to drink early.

P.S. Writing a dedication Part 2 entry: be on the look out AND once the mixtape is finished NEW BLOG. This one will still be alive though for my private readers :) yall

EDIT: I figured it was those 7... I figured it out but i guess it makes sense to hear it from a women herself.