And It's Over... For Now...

Sad shit really. Extremely sad shit. Yesterday was my last full day and last night in Florida and i tried to spend it as good as possible. Went to the pool again, went to get NY pizza in Florida, and just watched my last episode of Dexter (season 2) and true blood's latest one. Worked out a little. It was actual a beautiful ending...in a sense. My sisters and i swam in the pool and reminisced. We laughed mostly and tried to reconcile things about our past...things that they didn't know/remember. I told them a few things but its funny how much i forgot at the moment...it seemed like the 20 years of my life went by so fast. I was choked up. It feels like it was just the other day, we were living up stairs in our 2 family house, with my mom and it was us 3. Me, Victoria, and Ashley. It was like a movie honestly. And i don't think they realize the intensity of the situation. My youth...is ending. Sure the 20's are going to be, possibly the best years of my life BUT i'll be grown up. Looking for a real job, contemplating kids, marriage and all that other shit you think about when your a kid but honestly i think every grown up would like to be a kid again...at least until maybe they have one. A kid. that is a part of you. looks like you. acts like you. My sisters won't be teens for long and by the time you know it, things may be so different... and just on an (insert/cliff note) i'll miss my mom a lot too. It's always a pleasure having her around but i'm use to her not being around...but my sisters...not really. They've always been there and just their presence sometimes has kept me going. Now i'm going back to college point with an empty bedroom and mixed feelings. That place use to feel like home and maybe it still will be but it won't be the same. At all. I just can't take this right now.

I just really wish i could be there again...how did everything happen so fast. The divorce. The moving. The remarriage. The moving. The running away. The me-leaving. The closer i get to 21...the more and more i realize that growing up kinda sucks...especially when your doing it alone. All i wanna do is cry. shit all i'm doing is crying but i have to get ready and move. The best people in life learn to adjust and i guess even when their heart is dismembered, they strive. That's what i'm best at. Falling off the horse and trying again...no matter how many or how bad my insecurities are. I've wrote mainly painful entries in this blog and this is no different. BUt only the future and god knows what its hold and then again, maybe not even them. All i know is that...i have to make a change and call. Visit more. This once a year crap has to be done. Its gunna be hard tho, when its just me going down there and they may be coming up...means i may not see my mom.

I'd write more but i have to make this place a lot less personal. AND i have to get ready. itsallgoodevenwhenitaint... well we'll see.

I Think I Just Got The (ch)ILLZ

The ILLZ - Persistence (Official Video) from Delgis Mustafa on Vimeo.

The ILLZ - M.P.A.(My Public Apology) (Official Video) from Delgis Mustafa on Vimeo.

Now after viewing both videos and songs...i think the 2nd is shot better but the first is way better BUT both videos and songs are dope as hell. The rapper's name is the ILLZ. PLEASE CHECK HIM OUT. Now i'm not saying i'm a huge fan because i've only heard a few tracks/things from him but i think he's a bit of an inspiration to me. He's dominican. Resides (at this moment) in New Jersey, i believe. He has the type of look/feel that i feel my music/image has/can have. Real cool. I would love to do a track with this guy too.

I really hope you guys take the 7 minutes (if that) out of your life to listen/watch because you might get the illz/chillz too. You never know.

Jam on it :)

the start of the beginning

Hey yall,
This will be a quick entry because I'm tired and at dinner in florida. Just arrived not too long ago. I was kind of depreseed or should I say I am a bit depressed because the time has come...living in new york with no immediate/full siblings. The cute little misreable sisters I've known most of my life. I remember when I use to make up stories to my sister ashley and she would believe it. And then when I started to like ashley we tagged team on victoria who annoyed us. One time we tied her to the chair, well taped her to the chair. Good times (laughs to self). Well those are kind of over or should I say limited. Now they're going to live a different life then I ever did...and I may never understand. But I still know what's it's like to be a teen and how hard it is to be a brother but I guess as they move on...I have to too. But I will miss them dearly. Also, just for the record my mom's new bf, not that attractive (no homo)but pretty cool. Less uncomfortable then the last one BUT I still am cautious cause she's my mom...which makes me protective. I'm the only man that has been consistant in her life...kinda.

Anyway, will keep u updated. Gotta run and go back on a diet...tomorrow :)

Jam on it

The Adventures of My Life...The Overview

Hey wassup yall, I do realize this is late but I just felt the need to really just discuss what has happend in recent weeks. Pretty amazing and productive stuff. I haven't heard anything from jobs, just lies and no interviews. It's hard out here but then again I haven't really been trying much.
These are some other things that have gone on:
I went to virgina
My heart has been torn (not necessarily in a negative way but between 3 things, experience, the woman I love, and the woman who maybe, slowly stealing my heart without knowing it..wild stuff)
A friend of mine just turned 21
Another friend went to the poorest country on this side of the world
I have spent countless days not excersing, hanging out, doing the regular push-up/crunch routine, staying in (a little), spending my time with two girls, and I forget what else.
I tried a cookie monster
Went to the pool...twice (gasp)
Been to the studio :) (recorded 5 new records)
Went to a club
Went to a house party or two
Went to a couple bbq
I also been trying to write, re-focus, play ball andddd save money (finally).

Today, my ipod just got wiped out (fuck life) and I'm going to create a simple t-shirt to along with the music I'll be creating. I'm trying to read at least 3 books this summer, I'm almost done with the first one.

I'm sorry for the randomness/not making sense of this entry...it was to get something off my chest but that won't be happening because instead I'm going to get ready for a productive day tomorrow (and re-doing my resume (hopefully) again). I just wanna say I wish, I could experience (kinda) and have the girl of my dreams but life doesn't work that way. I also wish I could stop being a pussy...grrrr. Muscially/ball wise and socially. I'm a fun person...I think?? Its alright. Just loving life or trying to focus on a life that I will ABSOLUTELY love.

Jam on it!

I'll Be Your Friend...

The video is alright. Not shot with the best camera but the editing is decent and i like the concept of it. The song is tight tho. The chorus got my attention hard and the beat (by Woody, a producer i'd like to work with in the future) is beautiful.
Tell me what you think of it... this is the first time i heard it and the first time i heard of this guy.

Sometimes I Wonder...

Hey yall,

Just finished my bball game. We lost 75-70. I kinda choked. 8 pts. When I was avg. 15. Missed 3 floaters, 5 layups and 3 three pointers. So I was 3/11, 2/2 for the free throwline. It was an epic game tho. Nothing I can be mad about. Played my heart out and brought the best out of my team...the way I use to.

I also got all my grades back, I wanna figure out the whole avg for the semester. I got an Aplus,Aminus, Bplus, B, and a C. Or in highschool terms...103, 93, 88, 85, and a 75. Definitely my best semester but still a little dissappointed. I really tried hard this semester. On time to class a lot (still late a lot tho), handing in work early, (a few stuff late still) but definitely worked hard. I thought I deserved an A- in classical cultures but I guess not...

Anyway, this entry is mainly about destiny or god or well a combination of a bunch of things. Have you ever heard the saying "god only gives you things you can handle" or stuff around that. Well I've been seeing that a lot lately and it reminds me of this movie, evan almhighty where morgan freeman or somebody said, would god give you strength or a situation where you could display you're strength. And I feel like this is somewhat true or maybe really true and if it is, indeed true, how do I overcome what's in front of me.

How do I go from being the 13/14 man on a team to being a good college player, someone who can play, cause I can play ball. I've done it, proved it, shown it. I'm not the greatest by any means but I'm a good player... And somewhere deep down I know this and so do other people, I know they do cause they've seen it too. But how do I accomplish that? How do I accomplish the impossible. This is my year. It's a year where things get proven. Can we win without rich... Can we win without 3 1,000scorers. With 3 new starters. Who's the bench gunna be. Etc. So many questions and truthfully my goal...is to be that 8th man. Who gets about 5-15mins a game. Who does what needs to be done. Brings energy. Brings fire. Defense. Spark. I can do that but how... With things in life...I have this mental block. This thing that stops me from being well great, and sometimes just good. And it's not just with music and writing, which I've heard I'm way better at...and will discuss in a minute about...but just this basketball shit. I feel like the time is NOW. THE MOTHERFUCKING TIME IS NOW. TIME to get a job and play ball. Maybe the reason I don't have a job is to focus on music and ball. Maybe god wants me to realize this. Maybe he wants me to work harder than I ever have in my life to let me know that my dreams can be achieved. That dreams can be reality....

Is this his grand plan to see me succeed? Has he shown me enough of my mistakes that this is...maybe my last opportunity to prove something to the world...musically. Family wise. Girlfriend wise (no I don't have one...yet), and basketball wise.

I've always prided myself on being different. On being self motivated. I've proved it. I've never reached the top. I've scratched the surface. And history has a funny way of repeating itself...in good ways... Not just bad. So am I feeling this way because it truly is time to do what no one I know, parent, grown up, friend, kids, everyone has everydone...succeed beyond what the mind can fathom...

I don't know where I get this deep feeling from but I just know great things can come but I have to grab it. Failing has taught me that. When I lost the division my senior year and basically threw away my seniorgame by having a 3minute lapse after killing I've learned. Life is a bitch but you gotta grab that bitch from behind and turn it around and kiss it. From kissing u can get head and fuck that bitch. Fuck her till you succeed.

When I lost that game my senior year...Þhat I remember like yesterday...everyone said it would be alright, I had bigger things coming for me. Never knew those big things could be at brooklyn college. Brooklyn college aka the new RFK for me. I had my first scout. Me, my first scout. No one told me I could do it. NO one said jonathan you know you could play college ball and be a good player and if u work hard a great fucking player. No one told me I could average 12 assists per game and win a psal award (that I thought I'd lost). Matter fact, not anybody believed me. And I have this fake cokiness or I did which made a dent but never a big difference. But I need confidence...confidence within. I need to make this happen. I hate talking. I love action. And this is something I need...

Do yall believe...
Regardless of my bitterness
Regardless of my lateness
My lies, my failures, my insecurities...do yall feel and see what I do?

Probably not and that's okay. Pressure makes a man. Well how you handle pressure makes you a man.

I know I've wrote a lot but there's a few more things to touch on that relate to this topic...

Father:
My father is anakin skywalker in my life. He did many of the same things but fucked up...he coulda been so much more and still can be. He may never be that famous dj but he can learn how to be...well a good father, a good husband, a hard worker and come to terms with my mom. I judge my mom a lot too. It's equally split in fault but something about my dad...for me...was always missing. Not going to games. Not doing enough with me. Not teaching me how to be a man. Manage money. Giving me taxes on time. just being a father.

When I was living with him for those last two years in highschool, my dad cried a few times...before that I had only seen him cry maybe once or twice. I vividly remember one time. And I knew that meant something. The fact that he had his son and his other children and he had a family. A fucked up one but still a family. And as a footnote, I accomplished evertything in hs while living under that roof...amazingly.

but anyway, my dad only has two children left. Two children I hope he doesn't fuck up as much as he did with me and my sisters. I hope JP is fucking amazing when he gets older... And I'm a help that motherfucker as much as I can. I know that, he probably doesn't even know that he has an older brother now but soon, he will. I promise that.and ava will have an older brother too.

Anyway, I've been realizing that it's time to be more of a man...to call my dad, my mom, talk to sam, and show my father what it means to be a man (and a father, one day). I gotta do what I've been afraid to do and fix MY family. And this all goes back to me feeling that I'm going to make it. In whatever I do but hopefully in music...again, it starts now.

Last thing:
Yesterday I saw my uncle, mike, for the first time. I just love that man. I don't look up to him like I use to, but that's my nigga. My uncle. My competition and my brother, who always seem to look out for me. It felt good to he there. And I talked to DV for a little while I was with him and I told him I smoked...well smoked for the occassion. Fuck it. I'm my own man, I should be able to decide when I can do certain things...and he said smh, enjoy. Made me kinda tight. I'm sure he just said it, like why me, why his little brother he usually does the right thing but truthfully, if he knows that or thought that, no need for the smh. It's just something that's been apart of me since 14. Anyway, I'm gunna see mike again tomorrow, and finish recording a song...which I was really self-concious about. Idk what it is but when I do music with mike, I get uncomfortable...well almost anybody I do but with him especially. I'm the little nigga and I'm not exactly "little" anymore so I feel like I gotta step up but again no confidence. So tomorrow, I gotta prove something...again and everyday.

Phew.
Sorry about all that. Just needed to get that off.
Hope everyone is good. Got an early workout in the A.M.
#letsmakeourdreamscometrue

Jam on it

Villian or Victim

Hey yall,

This entry is going to be as brief as possible. I just need to get shit off my chest. When I feel misreably alone or I have time or if I have discovered something that's when I turn to this...this blog. This blank page that is waiting to be filled with my thoughts, good or bad. Well today just makes me think of a whole lot of things...so many things I won't be able to describe right now. But I just need to say that I'm sad about a lot of things and with sadness comes anger so I'm very angry about a lot things. I'm mad at soooo much and some of my anger is also aimed toward myself. I am human, I am on this earth therefore I am flawed. Those flaws include my stomach, my temper, my overdramatic sadness, my nomadic ways, and the fact that while I try to find myself and heal my pain I hurt others on the way. I hurt friends, ex-girflfriends, people I date, family, and who knows who or what else. I don't mean to hurt you guys. I don't. Hurting another human being in order for them to feel my pain is not what I try to do. I don't want to inflict more pain then life already has to give especially the pain I've felt. Now, I typically don't like putting names up but I kinda have to. Here's just a few names:
Farah
David
Julian
Sabrina
Brittany
Rosa
Ashley
Justin
Jasmine

And there are other names but those stick out right now. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for mistreating u and being in my own world and not paying attention to you. You all have e/affected my life in many ways that have helped me become the man I am today. Whether it was for survival, support, or pure love. I have to thank you and give my sincere apologies cause I have done wrong to all of you, when for the most part you were there for me.

Now, back to my original point. I have my sadness and anger issues that I always try to back track and figure out where they stem from. A lot of it is just pure life situations. Situations where I was never good enough for people and still aren't and you know what, that's okay because I've lived with it and lived through it. Not being good enough for my parents, family, for ex-girlfriends and crushes, for school and education, shit for the three things I loved the most...basketball, music and (insert name). whether it was my own self-esteem that was being tarnished by myself or it was a coach or a fellow rapper/hater/student. It all had an effect on me. Maybe that's why I'm so defensive cuz I have every reason in the book to be. Oh and credit, I hated depending on people and still do, that's why I gotta do things on my own even when I don't want to. .

See the reason I dream and have so much determination is because I've seen people fall short, shit, I've seen myself fall short but I have to dream because really that's all I have. I don't have a dollar. Just a dream and when that dream comes true, then maybe the rest of my life will too. That's what I'm hoping at least. I got to prove to myself and the rest of the world, eventhough it still won't be enough, that I've made something of myself and made what I still think inprobable come true.

Talk to yall soon.
Back to reality.
:(

Jam on it

The Bryant Files Part 1: The Arrival

Me and my friends are on our way to Bryant University in Rhode Island, should be a pretty dope experience. It should be a very interesting weekend. It is the first I've ever went away with my friends so it's cool BUT I feel weird for some reason. It's strange. I'm excited and homesick. The car ride is about 3 hrs and we are 20mins away. I can't wait to see a "real" college but I'm tired and just being a punk. Blah. I'm happy and not at the same time. I just felt like this was a bad to go but I don't know. Hopefully I can clear my mind. I feel like I left everything in new york. It's strange but I'm glad I was invited and didn't act like my "old depressed" self and stay in New York. I guess it's time to take risk. I feel like something's missing though. I got into a few big arguements with poeple I love, care about, etc. So maybe that's it. Feel like this are wishy washy and over but whatever. Time to be a "real man." I gotta do hw and write some music and fucking sleep. I'll be updating the weekend, frequently.

Hope yall are enjoying rocking with me and like the new entries. Things are coming along and I'm happy about that. The sun's beaming. Time to let the sun dictate my mood and smile.

Jam on it...

Mood Ring/Anthem of the Day: "Say Something Baby"

Say something...baby...

Sometimes my subliminals tell it all!

Notables:
"How could something so familiar, be so strange"
"Could of split the world of 50/50, now i'm at the 40/40 getting bitches typsy"
"i should go back to the one i started with, but this life is addicting and it's gon be hard to quit...yea"
Bonus: J.Cole Performance

Recommendation Part 10: Get Your Dose of Normalcy and V5!

Here's the link:http://www.mediafire.com/?ntynj3rjjzm
*If the link doesn't work, visit datpiff.com or 2dopeboyz.com or whereischarleshamilton.com

This cd is Charles Hamilton at his finest, so i've read, not officially heard, but from the leaks it sounds like the old Charles mixed in with some new shit. I'm actually listening to it while i type but it takes me time to digest music. Anywho, my man (pause) is back, so please try and fuck with it. I've promoted Charles Hamilton o.d. on this site and i will continue regardless of any shananigans because he's dope. Wierd but being NORMAL is never in, ya dig. Plus Charles's music has helped influence my music and helped me get through tough situations that i dealt with last year.


Link:http://www.mediafire.com/?fy0nxig2nzr
New banks!!! Wooo man you already know. I love Lloyd Banks as a rapper but he's not very versatile. He's definitely improved and is showing his growth as an artist. Doing shit without 50 or any features really. Banks holds his own as the punchline king aka PLK. If you want dope music, i always recommend Banks. Although i can't listen to him to much, he's definitely influence my metaphors as well and from what i've heard this is dopest mixtape yet. So roll up a blunt and roll with it!

Special Bonus:

http://usershare.net/jhrfvrdz6qv8
As i special bonus, i added the homie B/A aka Bagdad aka Hansommanson. This dude right here is pretty talented and is a friend/associate of Charles Hamilton. I talk to him on twitter, he's a Harlem Representative, and hopefully i can do a couple tracks with him and put him on my mixtape. This was one of the surprise features i'm working on but i just need the DOPIUM MUSIC. So download the homie B/A too.

Forever (Jam) Young

I still personally like the name "Jam Young" but i was thinking...would just using my real name be better. I'm still debating but for now it stands.

I'm posting this video, probably because it just came out, i know a lot of you guys will like it, and because my ex-bf Marc, said this to me about it... (i'm paraphrasing of course).

"And by the way, Forever Young should have been your song"

So wait until i get my hands on the instrumental :) Thanks Marc

2 Poems I Created In September During Some of My Classes

Drawing Board:

No chargein my phone
while my blackberry is on the IV
6 hours of sleep, so i feel like dying
tear drops held back, but can be seen on my sleeves
mute in the silence, somebody help please...
Fuck life

WANT.Act.COME To Me.

Touch.
Feeling. Spark.
Heat, Frozen Time.
Still.
Painting, Wonderful
Bloss, of bright colors in a dark room.
Connection...
Connection...
I need you, I really need you and love you so much/ for this moment.
Rush. Speed.
heat, Frozen Time,
Still, continous.
Life it up, pick you up
sweet but rough, scream for me.
Tell me what you want, how can i please you, how can i peel you back, dig deep
with my hands or with my pistol, my secret weapon
I Just Need
One Shot
Maybe two or three, but i want to thrust and make you sweat.
Make you clinch, bring out your desire, make you soak.
Extra wet.
The degrees of fire, reign, wind, Earth, temperature, rise, but
We
Are
One.
Again, jsut for the night, i grab you, squeeze you
Sylvia spewed, drops of it on your mountains, on your small fruit
but way more on my gun from god, that helps create
Forth and back, swolen, but keep it going
CLoser... than ever... before
Sweet, texture, but rough, ruff, lose your voice for me.
Make me work, sweatshop, drops, position, light.
on and off
Heat, Frozen Time,
Still, Continous, until

Let's Talk Music

Alright, wassup yall.
I know the first decemeber entry is over due, for those who still read my blog (thank you :)) but let's start it right. The 19th will be the first OFFICAL year of this blog, which i'm proud to say. One hell of a year, lol. Crazy but yea. I actually have a game in a few but i decided to provide you guys with some new music i've blessed my ears with.

1)Jared Evans is a singer/rapper who is signed to interscope. People like him, i have a wierd opinion on him because i'm not sure what to think of him yet. BUT this song above is hot, like real hot. i would've liked a 3rd verse but enjoy it.

2)Miley Cyrus. I'm not gunna front, i'd probably pipe. lol. But on the real that song is crazy. It really boosts my mood. I deadass listened to it 3 times already today. Call me a loser but Miley's got a fucking hit.

3)50cent's new single that in my opinon, with a known singer, and a few little add-ons here and there could've been even crazier than what it is right now. Just my opinion on it. BUT the reason i'm posting it is because he actually talks about his baby mama and shows a sort of humility he hasn't shown in a while. I feel like that's when an artist is at their best therefore this is one of the better tracks on the album.

DIG IT!

Just as a sidenote i am continously writing. I still haven't found the niche or correct time but whatever. Aslong as the process is coming along. If i have off this sunday from work (cross fingers) best believe i'm trying to get into that booth one way or another. I got some tricks up my sleeve. Once i get certain beats, producers, confirmations, and other artists that i hope to work with, my mixtape will certainly be a topic of discussion (at least in my circle) in hopefully places i thought it would never go. But if i am unsuccessful in my goals, that will not stop me because this is just the first step.

Last thing: Shouts to Hannibal King, appreciate the talk, the advice, and the future help on this project...

Title: TBA
Still a possibility:
"Most Likely II Succeed"
"A Reason 2 Believe: The Mixtape"
"90's Baby"
"INK: Industry's New Killer"

Holy FUCKING SHIT...

Now i usually try to stay away from perverted shit on my blog unless it's subliminal but after seeing this TWICE...holy shit. This was posted on twitter by a couple people but i couldn't see it because i was on my phone. NOW that i viewed it...you will understand the title of the entry. That's all i can say. I'm turned on, amazed, and in total complete shock. I must say that from what i've heard, and experienced that white girls dominate the category of "giving head" and there's no doubt this is the reason why.

I'd also like to say she has that shit down her throat. You could see it moving. My shit (referring to...rhymes with Martinez lol)... let's say she would eat me alive, in 2 minutes.

Damn, i want to rant but i'm speechless at the same time. WTF...
life yo

Life is the SAT's, Not Many People Ace It

Metaphors. Similies. Nouns. Expressions. Cliches. Verbs. Pretenious words.

Those are the things that make me feel comfortable and at times very uncomfortable.

I would just like to say I think we, as people, are our own worst enemies. Just felt like saying that. I'm not in the mood to explain.

Lately, I've been this oximoron. I been feeling good but at the same time, I feel like dying. I don't understand it at all really. Like I'm drained, all the time. I'm lost in class, I feel like, but I'm doing pretty well in every class by test scores and shit. So I don't know what it is. Wierd. I know. Plus things are also going fast/slow.

Like time is really wierd as well. I don't know. Feeling saine and not saine, is extremely confusing for me. I'm just in a strange state.

I have more to write and say but can't.

Just want send my wishes out to someone who has had a big impact in my life. I know mentally things areprobably worse than how I'm feeling now but you'll get through it. Maybe not over it but be well enough to live life to the fullest again.

Recommendation (TV edition): Hung

http://www.hbo.com/hung/

Hey yall, hope you liked my poem. I really enjoyed it. It was very liberating, actually extrememly liberating. I'm still feeling weird but that's for another entry. Here, i want to push you guys into watching (yet) ANOTHER HBO SHOW. Usually on Sunday's it goes: True Blood, Hung, and Entourage. So now that i've recommended True Blood and Entourage, it's time to put the icing on the cake for our tv lovers.

Hung is a term used for well-endowed men aka big penis men. Apparently i read in a magazine that most men don't have over an 8inch erect penis (only 3%) of the population has one (that includes larger too). I don't know i just thought i'd throw that random (kinda gay) fact in. Anyway, the sohow is about this guy who lost his kids, his house in ruins, he has an annoying neighbor, and ex wife married to some geek from their h.s. He also lives in a tent and works as a gym teacher at his old highschool were he was a praised baseball star who ALMOST went pro. After watching the first two epsisodes you'll be hooked and understand how he got the idea to become, well, a male jiggalo. It's pretty cool, intense, sexual, and funny.

So if you have HBO check it out. Take a stab at it. Life is (kinda) about taking chances, no? :)

Harsh Reality/Mood Ring Part 6

"Booty and Breasts are something that you can't own"
"Fuck what you heard like a dick in your ear(hole)" lmao. Trey songz is a beast. That is fact. I'd do an album with him true story but that's not what I wanted to touch on. Basically this one is about being faithful.

(Why did I mention trey songz than) for two simple reasons: his song sparked this entry and because of my arrogance that says this is my fucking blog and I can do what I want lol.

Okay soooo Trey remixed Mariah Carey's "obsessed" song and pretty much ripped the shit. Talking about how a girl fucked him and then her baby daddy calls him arguing and shit. But trey says she didn't even mention that she had a man. Which happends in a lot of situations. I understand or rather grasp the concept of cheating especially when your not married but I only kind of believe in that if people are young. Still people should tryyyyyyy to be faithful.

See this is the difference, woman expect men to cheat and are insecure BUT what woman don't understand is that men are JUST if NOT MORE sensitive than women are. Example a guy who fucks countless woman usually because he got hurt by one first.and doesn't take the chance in loving a woman. Also when a girl cheats men barely have forgiveness because it hurts soooooo much more. Well I can't say that for all situations of course. But it drives us insane, to the point that we can cry and feel helpless.

I just needed to vent for that. I thought about what if the woman I love ever cheated on me, which can/would/will be a possibility when it happends but I'm just saying.

Anyway, I'm in the theaters about to watch district 9. I'll talk to you guys soon. Still have a few more entries I need to post.

P.S. Parenthesis was an edit (the one above) and so i decided to put the song as well now that i'm on a computer :) holla!

Reliving: Mini-Mixtape

What's good yall!
Jjust wanted to put you guys on, i don't have an official date or anything. I wouldn't even call this a project really. i just decided instead of just releasing every track separately i'd make it into like a mini-mixtape called "Mr. Feature." Ya dig! it's me on 4 other people's songs, who left a space in their song to rap on and i have taken the opportunity to excute on it. There will be an intro explaining the project and not to take it as like "hey promote this shit." In my head i'm more like hey you guys haven't heard anything new from me since march and HEY i'm still alive and grinding hard (which my followers and people close to me KNOW) but others not too much. Here's the B.S. cover i made for it.

Might talk to Julian about doing it over or a backcover. I'm working on a backcover but if i don't make one it's whatever. I'm going to the studio real soon. So i'm just prepping ya dig!
Updates coming today/tonight/tomorrow before work.
Let me know what you think i'll either post a link for one of the songs or put it on youtube.
Later!
EDIT: Track list
1. Intro (Featuring Jam Young)
2. Watching Me Remix (with Shawn Chrystopher)
3. Keys Remix (with Trey Songz)
4. Kiss Me Thru Da Phone Remix (with Mike Posner)
5. Bruce Lee (with XV)
Bonus:
Fabolous 3 (with Johnny F & eZ)

most of the artist you won't know but they're pretty big on the hip-hop blog stuff. So i'm promoting them while promoting myself. :) hope yall enjoy.
First leak will be the Keys Remix, that's probably my favorite haha

Restating: Time does Fly

Time definitely does fly. It's fucking up my consistancy with blogging and twittering. Shit's crazy. Soo saturday the 1st was DV's bday. Was pretty fun. I could've went to a concert with drake, lil wayne, etc, but do to my indecisive ways and nature I failed 2 go. Didn't go to the bball game. Or my friend's video shoot but it's all good. I cleaned up mentally and physically.

Dv's bbq was pretty chill. Hung out with old brooklyn college chicks and dudes. Even people I just met by playing ball with. So it was cool. I slept over and recorded a new record for beers: 7 beers n a shot of (disgusting)hennessy. UGH. But then the next day me n dv just lounged at his house n did nothing. Ironically, it felt overdue. Just laying down, napping, relaxing. I found this unknown, unique pleasure in it BUT it makes me go crazy doing that.

Next day, monday my boy johnny f and I wrote two songs and chilled. It was cool. Then went to a house party for an old friend's birthday. Got a bit typsy. (Side note: I never ever feel drunk, maybe it's because I drink more beer than hard liquor...just a hypothesis haha). This day was cool too cause I met up with another old friend, Dayna. Mad cool. She use to watch my games back in 7th and 8th grade. Sick! The golden age of my bball skills. But I feel pretty good now just going against the grain again.

Yesterday and the day before went to L.I. Hung out with my uncle. Finished a couple tracks. Hung out with him, ricky, and felicia. But it's too sticky over there. No AC in the studio or at mike's house. I was frying. That's why I probably felt like shit yesterday. Went to the studio again finished a couple more tracks and going back 2day. This week is actually kind of slow.

Still miss west palm florida with my mom, but I can't really do much about that, right. Stomach kind of out of wack. Head feels like it's falling off. Haha.

Anyone going to post two more entries.

Also follow my new rap buddy @
www.thejohnnyflife.blogspot.com

Welcome johnny! Holla

Mood Ring Part 3: Recalling (Nostalgia)

I was going to post the lyrics BUT hey, the lyrics are on the video. Tough song. This should have been the third single after "butterflies" :)
RIP MJJ