Showing posts with label Music. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Music. Show all posts
Saturday, February 7, 2015
The Return!
This is my first entry in over a year and a half... So before I make some long winded entries I just want to say, I'M BACK! I'm still the same me at the core of it all: The dream chaser, looking to reach heights I never knew possible, as well as the ambitious, manic, goal oriented, emotional writer too. But I've grown up quite a bit and have lost some things, some people, parts of my brain, my liver, my focus, and my heart. However, as life goes on so do the needs and wants and the best way I've known to express those desires is to WRITE and CREATE.
I look forward to re-starting my journey with you, world, and gaining back relationships I neglected while starting new ones and rediscovering myself. Above, is one of the last tracks I recorded in 2014 and for my mixtape. It's very angelic and Hip-Hop. It's a return to true form. It's the return of the Jam...
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
It's Hard To Be Positive When You're a Pessimist
Hey yall,
The picture has no relevance to what i'm about to write...actually it's suppose to put a positive spin on all of his fuckery going on in my life. I would say 75 percent of my problems are created by me, 88 percent would include problems i create plus things i have no control over. The rest are other people and things like school...etc. That's just some brief insight and also since i will not have therapy this week, more than likely, i have to talk to myself and whoever else will listen through this blog. Also, in all honestly, fuck a lot of yall. I write because this is what i do, i'm a writer, so don't criticize me for doing what my title tells me to do and what i love, LOVE to do.
Happy Birthday Lisa! Eventhough, i know for a fact you have never been on here lol. I still shout out people because it's necessary. Just as a heads up, i may-be detatching myself more off of social networks and on my phone in general. I am caused too much extra stress by these things. Okay, now that all of the aforementioned has been stated i will quickly note that i finally earned my first "A" of the semester and in my shakespeare class, which i am doing the worst in, ironically. Still i am proud and look to use these grades as momumentum to propell nothing lower than a B, for my first semester ever, EVER? yes, ever. Now on to the negative...
I'm still struggling and turning the ball over in practice and even worse, my confidence and aggression is still shot by mental loops i can't seem to jump through. Everyone else can but me. I really don't know if i can be on a team/bench for 3 years with no progression. Granted it is my fault but once things are made up i will be lost forever in it- the black hole of basketball. I have very few time left to show my coach i have done a 360 or at worst, 180 but again the window of opportunity is closing, fast. This makes me think... maybe i should redshirt or possibly quit. What is my purpose, really? If to rot on a bench with my self pride, confidence, and aggression is dwindling on a sideline cheering people on, when i should be cheering and playing on the court with them. again, i use should...placing full blame and responsibility on myself. I'm sick. I'm in terrible condition. I'm overwhelmingly exhausted by trying to climb these mental roadblocks. it's bullshit, on my part because i'm standing in the way of myself. Do you know how that feels? When you, yourself, is the ONLY one to blame. Let me tell you, it's worse than self depricating...it feels as close to death as i may get until i reach actual death. I'm tired of excsues, tired of needing inspiration from music and people...i need to figure this shit out and fast.
Strangely, the only thing i can think of is... did god put this in my path for a reason? or am i meant to fail. I'm not sure of the answer yet but i have to figure that out, soon, as well.
And just as an FYI: I am an extremist. A purist extremist. It is in my blood, personality, and maybe worse, soul.
Lastly...i don't even know where to start with this one. It's just the same old stuff, same old painful, escalating arguments that consume my day, my nights, my mind, my sleep, my everything. It's worse than adding sprinkles on top, it's like adding a bigger cone with sprinkles on top of the bad cone i have already. Basically, when this i am fighting with her everything is even worse. Like why can't things be terrible and i can know that she's there, waiting and yearning for my kiss. Things like that don't exist, not even in an ideal world. It is something to abstract, to outside for the imagination even to grapple it.
Let me explain something. I am in love. I have been in love for a while now but i am not in a relationship, mainly because of my own choice. Mentally the title, the responsibility, the obligations, the commitment and much worse stuff scare me. Honestly, i haven't been in a "relationship" since i was 15 years old. Shouldn't love be bigger than a relationship, or a title, or marriage to say the least. At least, for now. But it's not. My hard truth, my fear is painful. For that i am sincerely apologetic.
Now let me ask the audience something. You ever have an arguement, a pointless one at that, but with all the time wasted and words spatted, the arguement just grows into something more terrible. You say things and so do they. Well it's like that a lot for me. I have probably said "the worst things i've ever heard" a few times.
I can't even finish that train of thought, main thing is... i will be in love and don't know if i will fall out of it but this constant "let's separate" bit on both our behalves is (insert word) devastating and annoying. Well i may have solved that problem because i don't know if we'll be talking or seeing each other much. A lot of other factors come in play: age, needs, wants, goals, pms, holidays, change, events, stress, and they all effected this arguement and possible separation.
I'm in pain but i'm also in denial but that's how the ball rolls, as the saying goes. I could go on forever on this subject but i can't really. It's time to just give my mind a rest, focus on school work, and making music AND more importantly succeeding in my dreams.
BTW: Growing up is not bad, it is just strange and rather interesting and it effects me everyday.
Whatever yall, just jam on it. Whatever it is.
And i will pray, hope, and yearn for positive outcomes in ALL my situations and in ALL of YOURS too.
Another day, another obstacle trying to strap you down into the electric chair.
Will i succumb? Will you? I hope not. Maybe i should stop hoping and do. Make this right. Either way, i'm still going to spend a lot of money coming up, even if the person and i are not...anything.
ZZZZZZ goodnight (cold) world, i'll see you in the morning...
Friday, July 23, 2010
Friday, June 25, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Sometimes I Wonder...
Hey yall,
Just finished my bball game. We lost 75-70. I kinda choked. 8 pts. When I was avg. 15. Missed 3 floaters, 5 layups and 3 three pointers. So I was 3/11, 2/2 for the free throwline. It was an epic game tho. Nothing I can be mad about. Played my heart out and brought the best out of my team...the way I use to.
I also got all my grades back, I wanna figure out the whole avg for the semester. I got an Aplus,Aminus, Bplus, B, and a C. Or in highschool terms...103, 93, 88, 85, and a 75. Definitely my best semester but still a little dissappointed. I really tried hard this semester. On time to class a lot (still late a lot tho), handing in work early, (a few stuff late still) but definitely worked hard. I thought I deserved an A- in classical cultures but I guess not...
Anyway, this entry is mainly about destiny or god or well a combination of a bunch of things. Have you ever heard the saying "god only gives you things you can handle" or stuff around that. Well I've been seeing that a lot lately and it reminds me of this movie, evan almhighty where morgan freeman or somebody said, would god give you strength or a situation where you could display you're strength. And I feel like this is somewhat true or maybe really true and if it is, indeed true, how do I overcome what's in front of me.
How do I go from being the 13/14 man on a team to being a good college player, someone who can play, cause I can play ball. I've done it, proved it, shown it. I'm not the greatest by any means but I'm a good player... And somewhere deep down I know this and so do other people, I know they do cause they've seen it too. But how do I accomplish that? How do I accomplish the impossible. This is my year. It's a year where things get proven. Can we win without rich... Can we win without 3 1,000scorers. With 3 new starters. Who's the bench gunna be. Etc. So many questions and truthfully my goal...is to be that 8th man. Who gets about 5-15mins a game. Who does what needs to be done. Brings energy. Brings fire. Defense. Spark. I can do that but how... With things in life...I have this mental block. This thing that stops me from being well great, and sometimes just good. And it's not just with music and writing, which I've heard I'm way better at...and will discuss in a minute about...but just this basketball shit. I feel like the time is NOW. THE MOTHERFUCKING TIME IS NOW. TIME to get a job and play ball. Maybe the reason I don't have a job is to focus on music and ball. Maybe god wants me to realize this. Maybe he wants me to work harder than I ever have in my life to let me know that my dreams can be achieved. That dreams can be reality....
Is this his grand plan to see me succeed? Has he shown me enough of my mistakes that this is...maybe my last opportunity to prove something to the world...musically. Family wise. Girlfriend wise (no I don't have one...yet), and basketball wise.
I've always prided myself on being different. On being self motivated. I've proved it. I've never reached the top. I've scratched the surface. And history has a funny way of repeating itself...in good ways... Not just bad. So am I feeling this way because it truly is time to do what no one I know, parent, grown up, friend, kids, everyone has everydone...succeed beyond what the mind can fathom...
I don't know where I get this deep feeling from but I just know great things can come but I have to grab it. Failing has taught me that. When I lost the division my senior year and basically threw away my seniorgame by having a 3minute lapse after killing I've learned. Life is a bitch but you gotta grab that bitch from behind and turn it around and kiss it. From kissing u can get head and fuck that bitch. Fuck her till you succeed.
When I lost that game my senior year...Þhat I remember like yesterday...everyone said it would be alright, I had bigger things coming for me. Never knew those big things could be at brooklyn college. Brooklyn college aka the new RFK for me. I had my first scout. Me, my first scout. No one told me I could do it. NO one said jonathan you know you could play college ball and be a good player and if u work hard a great fucking player. No one told me I could average 12 assists per game and win a psal award (that I thought I'd lost). Matter fact, not anybody believed me. And I have this fake cokiness or I did which made a dent but never a big difference. But I need confidence...confidence within. I need to make this happen. I hate talking. I love action. And this is something I need...
Do yall believe...
Regardless of my bitterness
Regardless of my lateness
My lies, my failures, my insecurities...do yall feel and see what I do?
Probably not and that's okay. Pressure makes a man. Well how you handle pressure makes you a man.
I know I've wrote a lot but there's a few more things to touch on that relate to this topic...
Father:
My father is anakin skywalker in my life. He did many of the same things but fucked up...he coulda been so much more and still can be. He may never be that famous dj but he can learn how to be...well a good father, a good husband, a hard worker and come to terms with my mom. I judge my mom a lot too. It's equally split in fault but something about my dad...for me...was always missing. Not going to games. Not doing enough with me. Not teaching me how to be a man. Manage money. Giving me taxes on time. just being a father.
When I was living with him for those last two years in highschool, my dad cried a few times...before that I had only seen him cry maybe once or twice. I vividly remember one time. And I knew that meant something. The fact that he had his son and his other children and he had a family. A fucked up one but still a family. And as a footnote, I accomplished evertything in hs while living under that roof...amazingly.
but anyway, my dad only has two children left. Two children I hope he doesn't fuck up as much as he did with me and my sisters. I hope JP is fucking amazing when he gets older... And I'm a help that motherfucker as much as I can. I know that, he probably doesn't even know that he has an older brother now but soon, he will. I promise that.and ava will have an older brother too.
Anyway, I've been realizing that it's time to be more of a man...to call my dad, my mom, talk to sam, and show my father what it means to be a man (and a father, one day). I gotta do what I've been afraid to do and fix MY family. And this all goes back to me feeling that I'm going to make it. In whatever I do but hopefully in music...again, it starts now.
Last thing:
Yesterday I saw my uncle, mike, for the first time. I just love that man. I don't look up to him like I use to, but that's my nigga. My uncle. My competition and my brother, who always seem to look out for me. It felt good to he there. And I talked to DV for a little while I was with him and I told him I smoked...well smoked for the occassion. Fuck it. I'm my own man, I should be able to decide when I can do certain things...and he said smh, enjoy. Made me kinda tight. I'm sure he just said it, like why me, why his little brother he usually does the right thing but truthfully, if he knows that or thought that, no need for the smh. It's just something that's been apart of me since 14. Anyway, I'm gunna see mike again tomorrow, and finish recording a song...which I was really self-concious about. Idk what it is but when I do music with mike, I get uncomfortable...well almost anybody I do but with him especially. I'm the little nigga and I'm not exactly "little" anymore so I feel like I gotta step up but again no confidence. So tomorrow, I gotta prove something...again and everyday.
Phew.
Sorry about all that. Just needed to get that off.
Hope everyone is good. Got an early workout in the A.M.
#letsmakeourdreamscometrue
Jam on it
Just finished my bball game. We lost 75-70. I kinda choked. 8 pts. When I was avg. 15. Missed 3 floaters, 5 layups and 3 three pointers. So I was 3/11, 2/2 for the free throwline. It was an epic game tho. Nothing I can be mad about. Played my heart out and brought the best out of my team...the way I use to.
I also got all my grades back, I wanna figure out the whole avg for the semester. I got an Aplus,Aminus, Bplus, B, and a C. Or in highschool terms...103, 93, 88, 85, and a 75. Definitely my best semester but still a little dissappointed. I really tried hard this semester. On time to class a lot (still late a lot tho), handing in work early, (a few stuff late still) but definitely worked hard. I thought I deserved an A- in classical cultures but I guess not...
Anyway, this entry is mainly about destiny or god or well a combination of a bunch of things. Have you ever heard the saying "god only gives you things you can handle" or stuff around that. Well I've been seeing that a lot lately and it reminds me of this movie, evan almhighty where morgan freeman or somebody said, would god give you strength or a situation where you could display you're strength. And I feel like this is somewhat true or maybe really true and if it is, indeed true, how do I overcome what's in front of me.
How do I go from being the 13/14 man on a team to being a good college player, someone who can play, cause I can play ball. I've done it, proved it, shown it. I'm not the greatest by any means but I'm a good player... And somewhere deep down I know this and so do other people, I know they do cause they've seen it too. But how do I accomplish that? How do I accomplish the impossible. This is my year. It's a year where things get proven. Can we win without rich... Can we win without 3 1,000scorers. With 3 new starters. Who's the bench gunna be. Etc. So many questions and truthfully my goal...is to be that 8th man. Who gets about 5-15mins a game. Who does what needs to be done. Brings energy. Brings fire. Defense. Spark. I can do that but how... With things in life...I have this mental block. This thing that stops me from being well great, and sometimes just good. And it's not just with music and writing, which I've heard I'm way better at...and will discuss in a minute about...but just this basketball shit. I feel like the time is NOW. THE MOTHERFUCKING TIME IS NOW. TIME to get a job and play ball. Maybe the reason I don't have a job is to focus on music and ball. Maybe god wants me to realize this. Maybe he wants me to work harder than I ever have in my life to let me know that my dreams can be achieved. That dreams can be reality....
Is this his grand plan to see me succeed? Has he shown me enough of my mistakes that this is...maybe my last opportunity to prove something to the world...musically. Family wise. Girlfriend wise (no I don't have one...yet), and basketball wise.
I've always prided myself on being different. On being self motivated. I've proved it. I've never reached the top. I've scratched the surface. And history has a funny way of repeating itself...in good ways... Not just bad. So am I feeling this way because it truly is time to do what no one I know, parent, grown up, friend, kids, everyone has everydone...succeed beyond what the mind can fathom...
I don't know where I get this deep feeling from but I just know great things can come but I have to grab it. Failing has taught me that. When I lost the division my senior year and basically threw away my seniorgame by having a 3minute lapse after killing I've learned. Life is a bitch but you gotta grab that bitch from behind and turn it around and kiss it. From kissing u can get head and fuck that bitch. Fuck her till you succeed.
When I lost that game my senior year...Þhat I remember like yesterday...everyone said it would be alright, I had bigger things coming for me. Never knew those big things could be at brooklyn college. Brooklyn college aka the new RFK for me. I had my first scout. Me, my first scout. No one told me I could do it. NO one said jonathan you know you could play college ball and be a good player and if u work hard a great fucking player. No one told me I could average 12 assists per game and win a psal award (that I thought I'd lost). Matter fact, not anybody believed me. And I have this fake cokiness or I did which made a dent but never a big difference. But I need confidence...confidence within. I need to make this happen. I hate talking. I love action. And this is something I need...
Do yall believe...
Regardless of my bitterness
Regardless of my lateness
My lies, my failures, my insecurities...do yall feel and see what I do?
Probably not and that's okay. Pressure makes a man. Well how you handle pressure makes you a man.
I know I've wrote a lot but there's a few more things to touch on that relate to this topic...
Father:
My father is anakin skywalker in my life. He did many of the same things but fucked up...he coulda been so much more and still can be. He may never be that famous dj but he can learn how to be...well a good father, a good husband, a hard worker and come to terms with my mom. I judge my mom a lot too. It's equally split in fault but something about my dad...for me...was always missing. Not going to games. Not doing enough with me. Not teaching me how to be a man. Manage money. Giving me taxes on time. just being a father.
When I was living with him for those last two years in highschool, my dad cried a few times...before that I had only seen him cry maybe once or twice. I vividly remember one time. And I knew that meant something. The fact that he had his son and his other children and he had a family. A fucked up one but still a family. And as a footnote, I accomplished evertything in hs while living under that roof...amazingly.
but anyway, my dad only has two children left. Two children I hope he doesn't fuck up as much as he did with me and my sisters. I hope JP is fucking amazing when he gets older... And I'm a help that motherfucker as much as I can. I know that, he probably doesn't even know that he has an older brother now but soon, he will. I promise that.and ava will have an older brother too.
Anyway, I've been realizing that it's time to be more of a man...to call my dad, my mom, talk to sam, and show my father what it means to be a man (and a father, one day). I gotta do what I've been afraid to do and fix MY family. And this all goes back to me feeling that I'm going to make it. In whatever I do but hopefully in music...again, it starts now.
Last thing:
Yesterday I saw my uncle, mike, for the first time. I just love that man. I don't look up to him like I use to, but that's my nigga. My uncle. My competition and my brother, who always seem to look out for me. It felt good to he there. And I talked to DV for a little while I was with him and I told him I smoked...well smoked for the occassion. Fuck it. I'm my own man, I should be able to decide when I can do certain things...and he said smh, enjoy. Made me kinda tight. I'm sure he just said it, like why me, why his little brother he usually does the right thing but truthfully, if he knows that or thought that, no need for the smh. It's just something that's been apart of me since 14. Anyway, I'm gunna see mike again tomorrow, and finish recording a song...which I was really self-concious about. Idk what it is but when I do music with mike, I get uncomfortable...well almost anybody I do but with him especially. I'm the little nigga and I'm not exactly "little" anymore so I feel like I gotta step up but again no confidence. So tomorrow, I gotta prove something...again and everyday.
Phew.
Sorry about all that. Just needed to get that off.
Hope everyone is good. Got an early workout in the A.M.
#letsmakeourdreamscometrue
Jam on it
Monday, May 24, 2010
TOO DOPE
The freestyle above inspired the crap i wrote yesterday...i need that beat!
dope song i discovered
and another none hip-hop song for your bitch asses!
Above...is the guy who's studio i was in saturday. We made a dope joint. If yall like it leave a comment here or on youtube. Let's get it! Cloud 9
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Villian or Victim
Hey yall,
This entry is going to be as brief as possible. I just need to get shit off my chest. When I feel misreably alone or I have time or if I have discovered something that's when I turn to this...this blog. This blank page that is waiting to be filled with my thoughts, good or bad. Well today just makes me think of a whole lot of things...so many things I won't be able to describe right now. But I just need to say that I'm sad about a lot of things and with sadness comes anger so I'm very angry about a lot things. I'm mad at soooo much and some of my anger is also aimed toward myself. I am human, I am on this earth therefore I am flawed. Those flaws include my stomach, my temper, my overdramatic sadness, my nomadic ways, and the fact that while I try to find myself and heal my pain I hurt others on the way. I hurt friends, ex-girflfriends, people I date, family, and who knows who or what else. I don't mean to hurt you guys. I don't. Hurting another human being in order for them to feel my pain is not what I try to do. I don't want to inflict more pain then life already has to give especially the pain I've felt. Now, I typically don't like putting names up but I kinda have to. Here's just a few names:
Farah
David
Julian
Sabrina
Brittany
Rosa
Ashley
Justin
Jasmine
And there are other names but those stick out right now. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for mistreating u and being in my own world and not paying attention to you. You all have e/affected my life in many ways that have helped me become the man I am today. Whether it was for survival, support, or pure love. I have to thank you and give my sincere apologies cause I have done wrong to all of you, when for the most part you were there for me.
Now, back to my original point. I have my sadness and anger issues that I always try to back track and figure out where they stem from. A lot of it is just pure life situations. Situations where I was never good enough for people and still aren't and you know what, that's okay because I've lived with it and lived through it. Not being good enough for my parents, family, for ex-girlfriends and crushes, for school and education, shit for the three things I loved the most...basketball, music and (insert name). whether it was my own self-esteem that was being tarnished by myself or it was a coach or a fellow rapper/hater/student. It all had an effect on me. Maybe that's why I'm so defensive cuz I have every reason in the book to be. Oh and credit, I hated depending on people and still do, that's why I gotta do things on my own even when I don't want to. .
See the reason I dream and have so much determination is because I've seen people fall short, shit, I've seen myself fall short but I have to dream because really that's all I have. I don't have a dollar. Just a dream and when that dream comes true, then maybe the rest of my life will too. That's what I'm hoping at least. I got to prove to myself and the rest of the world, eventhough it still won't be enough, that I've made something of myself and made what I still think inprobable come true.
Talk to yall soon.
Back to reality.
:(
Jam on it
This entry is going to be as brief as possible. I just need to get shit off my chest. When I feel misreably alone or I have time or if I have discovered something that's when I turn to this...this blog. This blank page that is waiting to be filled with my thoughts, good or bad. Well today just makes me think of a whole lot of things...so many things I won't be able to describe right now. But I just need to say that I'm sad about a lot of things and with sadness comes anger so I'm very angry about a lot things. I'm mad at soooo much and some of my anger is also aimed toward myself. I am human, I am on this earth therefore I am flawed. Those flaws include my stomach, my temper, my overdramatic sadness, my nomadic ways, and the fact that while I try to find myself and heal my pain I hurt others on the way. I hurt friends, ex-girflfriends, people I date, family, and who knows who or what else. I don't mean to hurt you guys. I don't. Hurting another human being in order for them to feel my pain is not what I try to do. I don't want to inflict more pain then life already has to give especially the pain I've felt. Now, I typically don't like putting names up but I kinda have to. Here's just a few names:
Farah
David
Julian
Sabrina
Brittany
Rosa
Ashley
Justin
Jasmine
And there are other names but those stick out right now. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for mistreating u and being in my own world and not paying attention to you. You all have e/affected my life in many ways that have helped me become the man I am today. Whether it was for survival, support, or pure love. I have to thank you and give my sincere apologies cause I have done wrong to all of you, when for the most part you were there for me.
Now, back to my original point. I have my sadness and anger issues that I always try to back track and figure out where they stem from. A lot of it is just pure life situations. Situations where I was never good enough for people and still aren't and you know what, that's okay because I've lived with it and lived through it. Not being good enough for my parents, family, for ex-girlfriends and crushes, for school and education, shit for the three things I loved the most...basketball, music and (insert name). whether it was my own self-esteem that was being tarnished by myself or it was a coach or a fellow rapper/hater/student. It all had an effect on me. Maybe that's why I'm so defensive cuz I have every reason in the book to be. Oh and credit, I hated depending on people and still do, that's why I gotta do things on my own even when I don't want to. .
See the reason I dream and have so much determination is because I've seen people fall short, shit, I've seen myself fall short but I have to dream because really that's all I have. I don't have a dollar. Just a dream and when that dream comes true, then maybe the rest of my life will too. That's what I'm hoping at least. I got to prove to myself and the rest of the world, eventhough it still won't be enough, that I've made something of myself and made what I still think inprobable come true.
Talk to yall soon.
Back to reality.
:(
Jam on it
Friday, May 7, 2010
HighLine Ballroom Footage
Johnny F and I went to this show a few weeks back in March. This is a compilation video of it all. Pretty dope. This is also where i took the picture with Kendrick Lamar at.
Friday, April 30, 2010
The Bryant Files Part 1: The Arrival
Me and my friends are on our way to Bryant University in Rhode Island, should be a pretty dope experience. It should be a very interesting weekend. It is the first I've ever went away with my friends so it's cool BUT I feel weird for some reason. It's strange. I'm excited and homesick. The car ride is about 3 hrs and we are 20mins away. I can't wait to see a "real" college but I'm tired and just being a punk. Blah. I'm happy and not at the same time. I just felt like this was a bad to go but I don't know. Hopefully I can clear my mind. I feel like I left everything in new york. It's strange but I'm glad I was invited and didn't act like my "old depressed" self and stay in New York. I guess it's time to take risk. I feel like something's missing though. I got into a few big arguements with poeple I love, care about, etc. So maybe that's it. Feel like this are wishy washy and over but whatever. Time to be a "real man." I gotta do hw and write some music and fucking sleep. I'll be updating the weekend, frequently.
Hope yall are enjoying rocking with me and like the new entries. Things are coming along and I'm happy about that. The sun's beaming. Time to let the sun dictate my mood and smile.
Jam on it...
Hope yall are enjoying rocking with me and like the new entries. Things are coming along and I'm happy about that. The sun's beaming. Time to let the sun dictate my mood and smile.
Jam on it...
J-eXclusIvE
If you ain't heard it, then you heard it here first. Period.Basically i'm saying that there is so much new music out that you might of missed some of it so i'm dropping links of some of my favorite stuff out of the bunch. Check it out:
Eminem: Not Afraid (Prod. by Boi1da)http://www.mediafire.com/?f2jlrmzwhio
Eminem: Despicable Freestyle http://www.mediafire.com/?ndt2ldyh2zy
Drake: Find Your Love (Prod by Kanye West)http://usershare.net/2DopeBoyz/0yeexgaff9li
Drake: Miss Me (Prod. by Boi1da)http://usershare.net/2DopeBoyz/hxq9vlubksk2
J.Cole: Who Dat (Prod. by J.Cole/Elite)http://usershare.net/2DopeBoyz/6qeuzaxg40rg
Game: The R.E.D. Room Mixtape http://www.mediafire.com/?wnnenw5zgke
Everybody has been raving about this video right here...and NOW after seeing it i understand why (lol)
Last BUT not least GO COP THAT B.O.B album!!!!!!!! (picture above)
Here's a crazy ass joint from it, that might get you interested
DL link: http://usershare.net/2DopeBoyz/t7b70ys9ry9h
Eminem: Not Afraid (Prod. by Boi1da)http://www.mediafire.com/?f2jlrmzwhio
Eminem: Despicable Freestyle http://www.mediafire.com/?ndt2ldyh2zy
Drake: Find Your Love (Prod by Kanye West)http://usershare.net/2DopeBoyz/0yeexgaff9li
Drake: Miss Me (Prod. by Boi1da)http://usershare.net/2DopeBoyz/hxq9vlubksk2
J.Cole: Who Dat (Prod. by J.Cole/Elite)http://usershare.net/2DopeBoyz/6qeuzaxg40rg
Game: The R.E.D. Room Mixtape http://www.mediafire.com/?wnnenw5zgke
Everybody has been raving about this video right here...and NOW after seeing it i understand why (lol)
Last BUT not least GO COP THAT B.O.B album!!!!!!!! (picture above)
Here's a crazy ass joint from it, that might get you interested
DL link: http://usershare.net/2DopeBoyz/t7b70ys9ry9h
P.S. THIS IS LAST!
Nobody reading this probably knows who Kendrick Lamar is but he's cool with Jay Rock (1 of 10 XXL Freshmen 2010) and he makes dope music. I'll post two songs that got me interested, check it.
Nobody reading this probably knows who Kendrick Lamar is but he's cool with Jay Rock (1 of 10 XXL Freshmen 2010) and he makes dope music. I'll post two songs that got me interested, check it.Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Greatness
This video is how greatness starts. A lot of people have criticized drake but personally he is a great artist. An artist who will make a dent in the game. Above is his new song/intro to his new album dropping in June(?). Dope check it. It's honest and real. The music i look up to.
I tip my hat to you drake, hopefully i'll see you on top.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Spring Break
Wake up...download music...brush teeth...pushups...crunches...more ab workouts...pushups...shower...eat.
That's what it's been last couple days. I been writing music. I got a performance on saturday in my neighborhood. It's just an open mic but it should be a dope gathering. Make sure I get fucked up after my performance. Anyway, I haven't done shit. The rain is kinda depressing but I love rain still. I wish I was spending those rainy nights with someone but I can't. So chilling with my sister and my family is gunna be good enough for now.
Right now I'm in the "Lefreak" studio, hopefully about to do some work. I need to. Like real bad before my head explodes. Also the fact I have no job and my money keeps declining is defnitely NOT good. So I'm gunna go to my school this week and hand in an application. I feel like because I work at school everything will be real flexiable, so fuck it if I have to take the train home late, ya know. I've done it TONS of time before. 7.50 is not bad although I should apply to century 21 and see what they say...right? Fuck it.
Ironically an ex-teammate of mine works there. Someone who didn't like me for his own selfish reasons but that was 2 years ago, ya know? Fuck a grudge. I have none. I'm 2 championship rings in, 2 years on the bench in so whatever.
I'm really proud of myself for getting focused with music, school, and basketball/working out. Should be an interesting rest of the year and I HOPE I have "YOUR" support. You know who you are, who I'm talking to...so it's cool.
Time to get to work. #2010
Love yall
P.S. Cop that new usher cd today along with the Meth, Rae, and Ghost cd!
That's what it's been last couple days. I been writing music. I got a performance on saturday in my neighborhood. It's just an open mic but it should be a dope gathering. Make sure I get fucked up after my performance. Anyway, I haven't done shit. The rain is kinda depressing but I love rain still. I wish I was spending those rainy nights with someone but I can't. So chilling with my sister and my family is gunna be good enough for now.
Right now I'm in the "Lefreak" studio, hopefully about to do some work. I need to. Like real bad before my head explodes. Also the fact I have no job and my money keeps declining is defnitely NOT good. So I'm gunna go to my school this week and hand in an application. I feel like because I work at school everything will be real flexiable, so fuck it if I have to take the train home late, ya know. I've done it TONS of time before. 7.50 is not bad although I should apply to century 21 and see what they say...right? Fuck it.
Ironically an ex-teammate of mine works there. Someone who didn't like me for his own selfish reasons but that was 2 years ago, ya know? Fuck a grudge. I have none. I'm 2 championship rings in, 2 years on the bench in so whatever.
I'm really proud of myself for getting focused with music, school, and basketball/working out. Should be an interesting rest of the year and I HOPE I have "YOUR" support. You know who you are, who I'm talking to...so it's cool.
Time to get to work. #2010
Love yall
P.S. Cop that new usher cd today along with the Meth, Rae, and Ghost cd!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Is It Impossible...
This is an old entry i had to end up finishing.
IS IT IMPOSSIBLE...
to achieve your dreams?
I'm reading all of these magazines, how guys barely older than me are blowing up and i'm really wondering can i achieve my dreams. It's a very difficult question and concept. Like i know accomplishing your dreams is possible, it's been done, but reading about people that have "made it" while sitting in a t-shirt, eating cereal, in college point, at 20years old...i can only imagine. People talk about realism. Realistic goals and for the most part i've always had that. I've always also stretched beyond that. Maybe what i accomplished though wasn't a lot, or enough, or BIG in the grand scheme of things. I mean i feel like i done something. I can make a list and go on. But do i compare myself? i can compare myself to the people i know but then i can compare myself to people who have achieved more at my age and a little older.
In lets say 2 years...can i be on stage rocking at XXL like some of the artists i'm going to see in a couple days, the same artists i'm reading about. The same people i've always admired. I mean i been doing music since i was like real young and now i'm in my 20's...like HOLY SHIT. A lot of people give up around these days. They have kids, accidently or not, they finish college, do a lot of shit. THe crazy part is that it's the MUSIC INDUSTRY.
I feel like i was born to do something special. I know i HAVE potiential. But a lot of people do and a lot of people are "rappers" and i KNOW a lot of people feel the same way i do. How am i going to make this happen...i'm more focused than ever to find out how but i don't know what else to do. I just gotta push and hopefully i'll find the connects, gain some people. I have to be optimistic and KNOW i'm going to make it.
For everytime i slept on a couch bed, for everytime i washed dishes after playoff basketball games until 12, to get 6hrs of sleep, to go school. For everytime i missed my mother and she was in Florida. When i was kicked out of my friend's house. For every single struggle i've seen people, my family, my friends, my loved ones been through... i do this for myself first but them next.
I just wanted to end it on some dope shit...individualism...check the video below.
P.S.
IS IT IMPOSSIBLE...
to achieve your dreams?
I'm reading all of these magazines, how guys barely older than me are blowing up and i'm really wondering can i achieve my dreams. It's a very difficult question and concept. Like i know accomplishing your dreams is possible, it's been done, but reading about people that have "made it" while sitting in a t-shirt, eating cereal, in college point, at 20years old...i can only imagine. People talk about realism. Realistic goals and for the most part i've always had that. I've always also stretched beyond that. Maybe what i accomplished though wasn't a lot, or enough, or BIG in the grand scheme of things. I mean i feel like i done something. I can make a list and go on. But do i compare myself? i can compare myself to the people i know but then i can compare myself to people who have achieved more at my age and a little older.
In lets say 2 years...can i be on stage rocking at XXL like some of the artists i'm going to see in a couple days, the same artists i'm reading about. The same people i've always admired. I mean i been doing music since i was like real young and now i'm in my 20's...like HOLY SHIT. A lot of people give up around these days. They have kids, accidently or not, they finish college, do a lot of shit. THe crazy part is that it's the MUSIC INDUSTRY.
I feel like i was born to do something special. I know i HAVE potiential. But a lot of people do and a lot of people are "rappers" and i KNOW a lot of people feel the same way i do. How am i going to make this happen...i'm more focused than ever to find out how but i don't know what else to do. I just gotta push and hopefully i'll find the connects, gain some people. I have to be optimistic and KNOW i'm going to make it.
For everytime i slept on a couch bed, for everytime i washed dishes after playoff basketball games until 12, to get 6hrs of sleep, to go school. For everytime i missed my mother and she was in Florida. When i was kicked out of my friend's house. For every single struggle i've seen people, my family, my friends, my loved ones been through... i do this for myself first but them next.
I just wanted to end it on some dope shit...individualism...check the video below.
P.S.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Mood Ring/Anthem of the Day: "Say Something Baby"
Say something...baby...
Sometimes my subliminals tell it all!
Notables:
"How could something so familiar, be so strange"
"Could of split the world of 50/50, now i'm at the 40/40 getting bitches typsy"
"i should go back to the one i started with, but this life is addicting and it's gon be hard to quit...yea"
Bonus: J.Cole Performance
Sometimes my subliminals tell it all!
Notables:
"How could something so familiar, be so strange"
"Could of split the world of 50/50, now i'm at the 40/40 getting bitches typsy"
"i should go back to the one i started with, but this life is addicting and it's gon be hard to quit...yea"
Bonus: J.Cole Performance
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Old School
This will probably be my last post of the month. This month like i said has been very hectic so next month expect me to be back on my A game. I just wanted to post this video for all my original fans who bought "A Reason 2 Believe" and those who missed out. This is my first love song and i wanted to share it with you guys. Put it on YouTube on some bullshit but whatever. Hope you enjoy it (and the video is a result of listening to my old self and being bored :)...enjoy)
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Manana...Escuela
Hell yall... The eve before school starts...what to do...what to do. I'm sitting on the stairs in my apartment building, writing music or at least I was until my ipod died. The battery is fucked up. SUCKS. Anywho I wanna do something BUT there's nothing to do. Grrrrr. Sucks. Hopefully this weekend is poppin tho. I gotta post up some NEW music for you to check out, that is HELLA dope. And for once it's not hip-hop but I may post at least one lol.
(A voice in my head asks me how my day was)
Well my day was pretty good. My jumpshot was broke! I missed 4 free throws in a row. And then shot 2/3. Two days ago I was 10/10 and I airballed a three pointer. Rough day shooting yet I played Defense n still hit a couple shots. Idk my wrist/follow through felt wierd and I felt wierd. Like I was thinking about it but it was in my head. Idk. I got a game tomorrow and it's not gunna be like that :) tomorrow is the best chance I'll play and play a lot more than a minute and thirty seconds so in the words of jae millz...leggggooooo
Also I saw the "Book of Eli" I missed the beginning of the movie. I didn't really understand the concept,point, or any of the underlining messages in the film but it was pretty cool. I just been dying to see a movie. Like literally dying but money is getting loooowwwww (uh-oh) so I might have to chill with the chillen.I gotta focus on school, making music, and playing ball n working. My next job destination is WHOLE FOODS or a sneaker store. Time to switch things up...seriously.
Anyway, speaking of music, I got this free beat tape (unfortunately nothing exclusive lol but still no complaining from me) from the.homie Hannibal. Had some good convos with him last couple nights. Pretty cool to actually talk to a guy I don't really know but feel like I know him and talk music and what not. Also I been talking to my uncle a lot more and a few other people and that's been pretty cool. I miss Mike (my uncle although he's more like my older brother along with DV). I look up to him for some wierd reason and I think I understand him more than ever although I do disagree with some stuff he says, I know it's in everybody's best interest.
Well I'm a go until I feel like blogging again. Sorry for the short entries and lack there of...just I don't know. Things go by fast on vacation. Hope everybody's doing well. Just to add one last thought: "I wonder if my family reads this or what they would think if they did" supposedly my aunt knows my blog like html and reads it from time to time but I guess it doesn't really matter because most of the time, actually 98 percent of the time what I say is fact. Literally FACT plus my interpreations of situations I personally go through so what they can say? Maybe my truths will help them and other people find theirs. Cause we all need to see a little more light in our lives, including myself. It's a very self-relieving thing, when your eyes are opened to things you never thought about.
Anywho, you all get Jam's love...and nothing less.
(A voice in my head asks me how my day was)
Well my day was pretty good. My jumpshot was broke! I missed 4 free throws in a row. And then shot 2/3. Two days ago I was 10/10 and I airballed a three pointer. Rough day shooting yet I played Defense n still hit a couple shots. Idk my wrist/follow through felt wierd and I felt wierd. Like I was thinking about it but it was in my head. Idk. I got a game tomorrow and it's not gunna be like that :) tomorrow is the best chance I'll play and play a lot more than a minute and thirty seconds so in the words of jae millz...leggggooooo
Also I saw the "Book of Eli" I missed the beginning of the movie. I didn't really understand the concept,point, or any of the underlining messages in the film but it was pretty cool. I just been dying to see a movie. Like literally dying but money is getting loooowwwww (uh-oh) so I might have to chill with the chillen.I gotta focus on school, making music, and playing ball n working. My next job destination is WHOLE FOODS or a sneaker store. Time to switch things up...seriously.
Anyway, speaking of music, I got this free beat tape (unfortunately nothing exclusive lol but still no complaining from me) from the.homie Hannibal. Had some good convos with him last couple nights. Pretty cool to actually talk to a guy I don't really know but feel like I know him and talk music and what not. Also I been talking to my uncle a lot more and a few other people and that's been pretty cool. I miss Mike (my uncle although he's more like my older brother along with DV). I look up to him for some wierd reason and I think I understand him more than ever although I do disagree with some stuff he says, I know it's in everybody's best interest.
Well I'm a go until I feel like blogging again. Sorry for the short entries and lack there of...just I don't know. Things go by fast on vacation. Hope everybody's doing well. Just to add one last thought: "I wonder if my family reads this or what they would think if they did" supposedly my aunt knows my blog like html and reads it from time to time but I guess it doesn't really matter because most of the time, actually 98 percent of the time what I say is fact. Literally FACT plus my interpreations of situations I personally go through so what they can say? Maybe my truths will help them and other people find theirs. Cause we all need to see a little more light in our lives, including myself. It's a very self-relieving thing, when your eyes are opened to things you never thought about.
Anywho, you all get Jam's love...and nothing less.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Therapy Before Therapy
HOPEFULLY, I'm not gunna be late to therapy but we'll see. Anyway, never realy updated on everything that's going on with me. Pretty cool and pretty not. Lol.
First thing, I still have my job...I think. Apparently some fiasco (no lupe)occurred at my job and the whole staff was going to get fired. Not cool that I was uniformed, illinformed, and was left in the dark BUT did I really expect anything different...nah. So if all goes well I'll be working at gamestop in a couple days/ weeks and everything will be different, maybe a good different. Where I can actually be a really good employee instead of an usually good employee. The manager seems cool as shit and he loves basketball so it might be nice actually talking to someone who understands passion and drive...plus his last name is Martinez. Yup that's right lol.
Next, school starts thursday. Should be interesting. Gotta see how I feel about my schedule but we'll see. Just gotta finish one last thing from last semester...then it's a clean slate...
My only real resolution is just becoming more responsible, get somebody's I.d., release some/solve some anger issues, focus on NOT being late, play ball non-stop, and FINALLY come out with some music for the masses. I think I'm ready, more ready then I ever been.
So that should clear up what's been going on. PLUS basketball has been going extremely well. I been getting better (I think) and our team is a little bit back to normal. So I'm glad. :)
Last I guess I'll say "Happy Birthday Ty!" Might get some hamburger helper, got some wine yesterday, and get some other stuff so I can relax.
Talk to yall later!
First thing, I still have my job...I think. Apparently some fiasco (no lupe)occurred at my job and the whole staff was going to get fired. Not cool that I was uniformed, illinformed, and was left in the dark BUT did I really expect anything different...nah. So if all goes well I'll be working at gamestop in a couple days/ weeks and everything will be different, maybe a good different. Where I can actually be a really good employee instead of an usually good employee. The manager seems cool as shit and he loves basketball so it might be nice actually talking to someone who understands passion and drive...plus his last name is Martinez. Yup that's right lol.
Next, school starts thursday. Should be interesting. Gotta see how I feel about my schedule but we'll see. Just gotta finish one last thing from last semester...then it's a clean slate...
My only real resolution is just becoming more responsible, get somebody's I.d., release some/solve some anger issues, focus on NOT being late, play ball non-stop, and FINALLY come out with some music for the masses. I think I'm ready, more ready then I ever been.
So that should clear up what's been going on. PLUS basketball has been going extremely well. I been getting better (I think) and our team is a little bit back to normal. So I'm glad. :)
Last I guess I'll say "Happy Birthday Ty!" Might get some hamburger helper, got some wine yesterday, and get some other stuff so I can relax.
Talk to yall later!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Recommendation Part 10: Get Your Dose of Normalcy and V5!
Here's the link:http://www.mediafire.com/?ntynj3rjjzm
*If the link doesn't work, visit datpiff.com or 2dopeboyz.com or whereischarleshamilton.com
This cd is Charles Hamilton at his finest, so i've read, not officially heard, but from the leaks it sounds like the old Charles mixed in with some new shit. I'm actually listening to it while i type but it takes me time to digest music. Anywho, my man (pause) is back, so please try and fuck with it. I've promoted Charles Hamilton o.d. on this site and i will continue regardless of any shananigans because he's dope. Wierd but being NORMAL is never in, ya dig. Plus Charles's music has helped influence my music and helped me get through tough situations that i dealt with last year.
Link:http://www.mediafire.com/?fy0nxig2nzr
New banks!!! Wooo man you already know. I love Lloyd Banks as a rapper but he's not very versatile. He's definitely improved and is showing his growth as an artist. Doing shit without 50 or any features really. Banks holds his own as the punchline king aka PLK. If you want dope music, i always recommend Banks. Although i can't listen to him to much, he's definitely influence my metaphors as well and from what i've heard this is dopest mixtape yet. So roll up a blunt and roll with it!
Special Bonus:
http://usershare.net/jhrfvrdz6qv8
As i special bonus, i added the homie B/A aka Bagdad aka Hansommanson. This dude right here is pretty talented and is a friend/associate of Charles Hamilton. I talk to him on twitter, he's a Harlem Representative, and hopefully i can do a couple tracks with him and put him on my mixtape. This was one of the surprise features i'm working on but i just need the DOPIUM MUSIC. So download the homie B/A too.
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