"So Much To Gain In So Little Time"

You ever heard a song that saved you, or comforted you during a time where you were really upset? And then hear it again when you're fine, and it brings back this wierd feeling? Like a feeling that you;re glad you've overcame that sadness for the most part? That's how I feel when I listen to this song called "Emotional Distress" by Charles Hamilton. It's crazy, I remember going to school everyday Mad early, waiting for the 2 train to go to school. Doing work, going to sleep, feeling uneasy, worried, anxious, and sad. I know I've probably mentioned this a lot, but I really believe I was depressed for a long portion of last season and it took me a WHILE to get out of it. I'd say probably till April/May of this year. I was fully removed from the situation and even then that's debatable.

I'm not really sad on the surface now a days just under the layers. A lot of anger toward the first girl I fell in love with, towards a few of my "friends" who I thought would be there for me, my grandparents, my parents especially. That's like the root of it all. But anyway, I don't mind sharing my world with yall for now because I know that this is my therapy. When I can't tell my therapist how I feel I can tell my blog and myself. It's a strange concept but whatever.

Anyway, I haven't been blogging because I get bloggers block lol. Tell people I coined that, alright :)

It's been a llllloooooonnnnngggg exhausting week. One I haven't had in a while. Bunch of school work due, ran a lot more this week, short and long distance, basketball worries, nerves which fuck up my game soooo much. It makes me furious. I'm a good ball player and that's why I'm on the team but my insecurities get the best of me sometimes. Whatever. This week is over and tomorrow starts a new!

Tomorrow, is a good day for cross country. Weather will be bright and good. Not too hot, which is peeeerrrrfffecccctt. I'm going for the best time ever. 36. If I do that means I would've not only shaved close to ten pounds but 6 minutes and change off of my running time. We need to win :)

Talk to you guys later!

P.S. I'm trying to stay positive but I'm late for therapy again. Fuck. Stay positive.

P.P.S. Got to therapy 20mins late. Needed those extra twenty...