Where ever the wind takes me...

EDIT: Fucking pissed
I just wrote a fucking long ass blog entry that was deleted. HOLY SHIT. I'm mad right now. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKk

First and foremost i love the fucking title of this (most likely) last entry of 2008! I'm kind of nervous and excited and shit to the point i may just pee in my pants. LOL. I'm telling the truth though, for real with all sincerity (if that's how you spell it). Frankly, i don't care. I just never been excited, felt good, and felt lonely at the same time. I'm good though. I'm chillen. NO MATTER WHAT I do tonight whether im alone in a house by myself, with my crazy parents, even crazier grandparents, or with some friends drinking i know 2009, is the year of everything. IT'S MY YEAR!! DEAD ASS Yo. I'll write the whole list but first i must use this quote: (i'm getting obessessed with quoting now

"Life's a bitch. Therefore it sucks because Bitches suck dick."
"Life's a bitch. Therefore, Life is a man's bestfriend." (for those who didn't get it a dog is a man's bestfriend and a bitch is a female dog) (people saying "ohhh! or Oh shit, that's ill)
Okay i'm going to post like 5/6 videos, idk how many because i am just freestyling what i originally wrote. I'm soo mad that i don't even want to fucking post anything but i have to. 4 hours until new year and i'm fucking stuck here right now. FUCK!
The first sone i'm putting up is Charles Hamilton "I'll Be There" It's fucking ill. Here's a couple lines that i thought were TOUGH! Listen to it though.
"Only thing i loved more than you was my music, but bitch you was my music"
"Your like a dream come true, music is a dream come true, i got dreams of music want to see my dreams come true, but everynight when i dreamgirl, i dream of you, anytime i say dreamgirl, i think of you" WOW! Some shit i would write.



Next is a video/song. It's Jay Rock Ft. Lil Wayne called "All My Life" real people will feel this.



Next is a song YOU ALL HAVE HEARD. I HATE THE VIDEO but the song is still really good. All i can say is that I still have my love lockdown, whatever that means.



Now i have to add, that BROOKLYN GOES HARD BABY. I'm a fucking college ball player and last night i wipped some ass. Haters and people may say i'm not REAL. But i've felt like the underdog MY WHOLE LIFE. SO I PLAY COLLEGE BALL! And even if this is the only year i play that's one more than about one fourth of million of you!



Brooklyn we go hard! Harlem we go hard! Queens We Go HARD! JAM GOES HARD. In 09 i'm going hard, In 09 I'm going hard!! Expect a remix man. I got to. Sorry Jigga.

Oh and We GO EVEN HARDER!!!!



Okay, now that we're done with that. Let's go on to the new year RECAP and my Resolution.

My 2009 Resoultion is (drum roll PLEASE)........


I really don't know. I don't think i've ever done a new years resolution but if i have to have one. It's to be happy. Continue how i feel and how i felt. My swagg and my confidence is fucking through the roof and nearly touching the pearly gates. For those who don't know, i'll admit it. I have low selfesteem. YES, Jonathan Martinez has a low self esteem and is not always sure of himself. I'm human. RIGHT? i have built this reputation and well i don't mind keeping it up because i wouldn't be where i am without it. YA DIG!? Anyway, yea so i just want to "Live Life" (hate that phrase) because "It is what it is" (i hate this phrase too). EVERYBODY uses that phrase. ANYWAY ON TO THE RECAP.

I hope people agree with this next statement BUT The Phrase of 2008 is:

"We're in a recession"

Lol, yea it really is for those who think that i am incorrect.
Ask yourself this, why haven't you been partying as much? how come you work less? Why are you spending lots of time at home? why are you sober? Smoking less cigarettes? Having less money in bank? because folks "we're in a recession"

"Dude, why did you only leave a couple dollars for tip?"

Response" We're in a recession."

"Want to go to the movies?"

"Can't"
"Why?"

Response: "We're in a recession."

"Did you just pick up pennies from the floor" (god would love to make a jewish joke, lol, JUST KIDDING)

"Son, We're in a recession."
ITS THE TRUTH. WAKE UP! AND SMELL THE RECESSION PEOPLE.

OKAY MY LIST OF 2008..... THe GOoD & THe BaD

(no particular order)
Winning an award from PSAL (avg. over 12 assists per game in HS, my senior year)
Had a really good game against Towsend Harris (18 points, career HS high)
Played really well at the City Games @ John Jay -Where i officially agreed to play for Brooklyn College
Got an opportunity to play basketball, make a college team.
Got laid on my birthday.
The Day after i graduated was fucking ill, my last really really really amazing day.
Went to Bennihanas for the first time.
Became MORE independent.
Survived First Semester of College.
Won mad awards (academic/sports) Basketball MVP
Won SENIOR ATHLETE OF THE YEAR
Started my Studio.
Wrote tons of good music.
Got published Freshman year in my english department.
I voted for the first time.
Obama WON!
Went to several concerts.
Took Mike to his first concert.
Sometime in the summer or i don't remember when but i know i made love while i was kind of with a girl. Pretty dope.
Earned a lot of money by myself.
Still living.
Quit Mcds.
Got hired by Starbucks.
Learned if my parent's aren't there other parents still care. (Popper, Pernick, The Starks!)
That's all i can remember off the top of my dome.
Graduated highschool with a poem i performed.
Mass Media Class.
English Class.

The okay and bad.
Prom was a little wierd.
Graduation a little wierd.
The day before i graduated.
Feeling/being homeless.
Break ups.
Not Recording much material.
Senior Trip again a little wierd.
Grandparents leaving (although not sure it was this year).
Tons of fights.
Loss of Friends.
Messed up in school.
Jay-Z nor Eminem dropped an album.
Spent about a thousand dollars and don't know where it went??
Didn't perform.
Crazy birthday presents (bad).
18th birthday.
Ending with a drought.

Well that's the jist of it. I MAY add more but idk if it will be before the new year.

What I'm looking foward to is....

Dropping 1-4 mixtapes for FREE. Performing at least twice. Being single. Being happy. Basketball. Working out. Trying things i probably will never do again in my life. Being nineteen.
BEING NINETEEN. THAT'S THE LAST TIME I WILL BE A TEEEEEEEENNNNN, SO I HAVE TO ENJOY MY LIFE AT LEAST UNTIL 20! LMAO. For real i'm fucking hyped again, now that i'm almost done. I might not do anything tonight but it should be a banger. ANYBODY whose online at the time, hit me up here. SOBER, NOT SOBER, Doesn't matter baby. Start the new year with a BANG, BANG, BABY. Shout out to everyone man. I appreciate everything. Even if it seems like i don't. i know i don't have a best friend or whatever but i know i can kind of count on certain people for certain things so YEA.

Yesterday, was crazy by the way. New experiences for real. I bonded like i haven't in a while. YEA BOY. 3 hrs and change. 3 months and change until my B-DAY Too. YEA BOY!
Last, i know i already posted MAD VIDEOS but i have to add this last one in. FEEL ME?

This is dedicated to someone, the song i mean. The concept. I lost one and well the person lost one.
"I hope that they last with their significant other, cause otherwise, i won't bother"
YEA.


R.I.P. Our friendship, lol. That's a little dramatic but i doubt we will talk for a WHILE. It's alright 09 BABY!!!!!!!