Re:

Today is august 1st mad birthdays going on. Mad shit going on. And today was suppose to be mad exciting but I feel like I lost all feelings for everything. Like it's wild. It's like I'm mad at myself and mad at a lot of things. Feel like blaming people for so much shit. Ironically I had a goodnight last night.

Just rapping and chilling. Drinking. Freestyling and listening to music. That's how shit's suppose to be. Although I like writing by myself NOW because I'm so use to it BUT still love writing with other people. It's wild crazy fun. So I feel like I achieved something without achieving shit lol.

Anyway, yesterday my friend told me to come through. I don't really talk to him anymore like that. Like he was homie, best friend, and we had been through soo much shit over the last 3 years minus this year, that it's crazy. Well in my opinion we had a big fall out, arguments, and I just have this bitterness toward him. Which isn't right. But if I was over it, I just wouldn't talk to him. Sometimes I think that's what I need to do.

Anyway, my goal is to not chill with him until his birthday unless he doesn't want me there. Which is like 3 months or so. Yea.

This shit just pushes me back mentally. I was doing so good though. Soo good.

And subconciously I'm bothered, seriously, about the shit I wrote about yesterday. Whatever. Back to the re-birth...

Think positive. Think positive. I think I can... I think I can