New Jam Young Music

www.Dreamchaserjam.com
"Rock The Crowd" Shot March 24, 2011 after my first performance in 2 years.

"Man of God" My Submission for a magnum contest that ends in a week

And check out my first video ever on a blog (first one to ever post me)
http://newschoolfire.blogspot.com/2011/03/jam-young-presentation-music-video.html

Some new things:
I made money off of my website
I signed up to Reverbnation without knowing. I will vamp it up also when i get my facebook page going.
I will be performing at Yippes Open Mic on Thursday for the next 3 weeks.
3 songs will be released in the next 3 weeks, if not more.
I had an excellent birthday party at Mcfaddens in the city.
I didn't get a lot for my birthdaybut i did get somegood stuff.
Look out for more entries.

Birthday List...

No particular order:

Californication Season 1-3
Social Network
Gangstar Albums
The Book Theif
A pair of nice earrings (when i officially turn 21 i can where them again lol)
Wiz Khalifa Album
Some money
An expensive bottle of something
Nike Underarmor
Some more money
Singing/voice lesson(s)

This may get longer later.

"Caught in the Life"

http://hulkshare.com/4r0kjksfi7rh
Cymarshall Law- One MIllion Miles Away

If you LOVE hip-hop there is no doubt in my mind you will like at least the first verse of this song. Pure dopeness and realness. SO do YOURself a favor and download it.

Anyway, i know i haven't spoken much but i been rather preocuppied or speechless or maybe i just haven't had the right words to say. School just started so another hectic semester begins and one of 3 semesters left in my college (undergrad) career. I should be happy i guess. All things must come to end, so people say, and another new phase. Damn, wasn't freshmen year like yesterday and high school like a week ago. And i'm about to be 21, finally, yet i don't even want it to come yet. Slowly but surely it will. I guess i'm not in the greatest mood especially ignoring my homework to write this but there's nothing much i can do about anything. In the past few weeks/2 months this has happend:

-Fall semester ended, Spring Semester began
-Had a 3.48GPA last semester- far better than i've ever done or expected. No c's.
-I've recorded about 30 songs and 20 of them will be on the mixtape. The rest needs to be recorded.
-A girl i dated in high school for a month is now pregnant "interesting?" lol
-I've caught up to Entourage on season 4
-Sleeping habits are out of wack
-Smoked more than i have in my whole life
-Got a 50 dollar ticket for smoking a black n mild while typsy at 2 in the morning "FUCK THE POLICE"
-Seen the very limited playtime i've received decline into the negatives
-Realized i have a career 35 points in college and a carrer high in points (for a single game) in high school at 18.
-Realized my jump shot has gotten REAL but i'm still too scared to dribble or play point guard and everyone concerning basketball has little to no faith.
-Someone said to me today "you have balls for staying on the team after not playing. I would of quit"
-Bought production from DJ Puerto Roc
-See my bank account crying for a check
-Become really good friends with Wade and miss my friendship with DV although i am very understanding
-Been teased, abused, and bullied. "Fuck yall niggaz"
-Watched my basketball team fail misreasbly and can only watch.
-Accepting more and more that i hve a girlfriend
-Working my way to publish something someone has never done
-Become a better poet and lyrisct "Thanks Burgess and rap music"
-Lose my therapist after 3 consecutive years of therapy
-Miss my sisters. Hug my sisters. Wanted to kill my sisters.
-Wonder when i get to have my payback
-Hope to read more

I mean that doesn't sum it all up but you can have some more brief insight into my world.

Before i forget in less than an hour my friend Anthony Sideries will become 21, Happy Birthday man.

I would vent but i need sleep. Love you guys who still check the blog and even if you don't.

Night...

It's Hard To Be Positive When You're a Pessimist

Hey yall,

The picture has no relevance to what i'm about to write...actually it's suppose to put a positive spin on all of his fuckery going on in my life. I would say 75 percent of my problems are created by me, 88 percent would include problems i create plus things i have no control over. The rest are other people and things like school...etc. That's just some brief insight and also since i will not have therapy this week, more than likely, i have to talk to myself and whoever else will listen through this blog. Also, in all honestly, fuck a lot of yall. I write because this is what i do, i'm a writer, so don't criticize me for doing what my title tells me to do and what i love, LOVE to do.

Happy Birthday Lisa! Eventhough, i know for a fact you have never been on here lol. I still shout out people because it's necessary. Just as a heads up, i may-be detatching myself more off of social networks and on my phone in general. I am caused too much extra stress by these things. Okay, now that all of the aforementioned has been stated i will quickly note that i finally earned my first "A" of the semester and in my shakespeare class, which i am doing the worst in, ironically. Still i am proud and look to use these grades as momumentum to propell nothing lower than a B, for my first semester ever, EVER? yes, ever. Now on to the negative...

I'm still struggling and turning the ball over in practice and even worse, my confidence and aggression is still shot by mental loops i can't seem to jump through. Everyone else can but me. I really don't know if i can be on a team/bench for 3 years with no progression. Granted it is my fault but once things are made up i will be lost forever in it- the black hole of basketball. I have very few time left to show my coach i have done a 360 or at worst, 180 but again the window of opportunity is closing, fast. This makes me think... maybe i should redshirt or possibly quit. What is my purpose, really? If to rot on a bench with my self pride, confidence, and aggression is dwindling on a sideline cheering people on, when i should be cheering and playing on the court with them. again, i use should...placing full blame and responsibility on myself. I'm sick. I'm in terrible condition. I'm overwhelmingly exhausted by trying to climb these mental roadblocks. it's bullshit, on my part because i'm standing in the way of myself. Do you know how that feels? When you, yourself, is the ONLY one to blame. Let me tell you, it's worse than self depricating...it feels as close to death as i may get until i reach actual death. I'm tired of excsues, tired of needing inspiration from music and people...i need to figure this shit out and fast.

Strangely, the only thing i can think of is... did god put this in my path for a reason? or am i meant to fail. I'm not sure of the answer yet but i have to figure that out, soon, as well.

And just as an FYI: I am an extremist. A purist extremist. It is in my blood, personality, and maybe worse, soul.

Lastly...i don't even know where to start with this one. It's just the same old stuff, same old painful, escalating arguments that consume my day, my nights, my mind, my sleep, my everything. It's worse than adding sprinkles on top, it's like adding a bigger cone with sprinkles on top of the bad cone i have already. Basically, when this i am fighting with her everything is even worse. Like why can't things be terrible and i can know that she's there, waiting and yearning for my kiss. Things like that don't exist, not even in an ideal world. It is something to abstract, to outside for the imagination even to grapple it.

Let me explain something. I am in love. I have been in love for a while now but i am not in a relationship, mainly because of my own choice. Mentally the title, the responsibility, the obligations, the commitment and much worse stuff scare me. Honestly, i haven't been in a "relationship" since i was 15 years old. Shouldn't love be bigger than a relationship, or a title, or marriage to say the least. At least, for now. But it's not. My hard truth, my fear is painful. For that i am sincerely apologetic.

Now let me ask the audience something. You ever have an arguement, a pointless one at that, but with all the time wasted and words spatted, the arguement just grows into something more terrible. You say things and so do they. Well it's like that a lot for me. I have probably said "the worst things i've ever heard" a few times.

I can't even finish that train of thought, main thing is... i will be in love and don't know if i will fall out of it but this constant "let's separate" bit on both our behalves is (insert word) devastating and annoying. Well i may have solved that problem because i don't know if we'll be talking or seeing each other much. A lot of other factors come in play: age, needs, wants, goals, pms, holidays, change, events, stress, and they all effected this arguement and possible separation.

I'm in pain but i'm also in denial but that's how the ball rolls, as the saying goes. I could go on forever on this subject but i can't really. It's time to just give my mind a rest, focus on school work, and making music AND more importantly succeeding in my dreams.

BTW: Growing up is not bad, it is just strange and rather interesting and it effects me everyday.

Whatever yall, just jam on it. Whatever it is.
And i will pray, hope, and yearn for positive outcomes in ALL my situations and in ALL of YOURS too.

Another day, another obstacle trying to strap you down into the electric chair.
Will i succumb? Will you? I hope not. Maybe i should stop hoping and do. Make this right. Either way, i'm still going to spend a lot of money coming up, even if the person and i are not...anything.

ZZZZZZ goodnight (cold) world, i'll see you in the morning...

Happy Birthday Eminem

Happy Birthday Em. I know my blog is starting to look like the Eminem Show or the Stan show (no pun intended) :) but he really is the greatest. Above is a glimpse of his greatness in 1999 and i sort of remade this song in my own way on this guy hannibal's beat. I might add a fourth verse and someother shit to it, we'll see. Anywho... just wanted to update you guys. My grandfather's leaving tuesday to go back to Ecuador, kinda sad. 4weeks go by quick, i tell you that much. It's just hard because a lot of people, rather most people in my life just kind of up and leave. But i know he'll come back and i'll definitely try and call him at least 3 times more than i do now (which is zero). Sad, again, i know, trust me.

On some good news though, i finally hung out with my uncle mike and i think i impressed the founder and studio owner of skylab ent., Los. Cool guy. Hispanic. Just started rapping. He liked my songs and i always feel weird having these guys who don't know my music...listen to it, ya know. Anyway, when i go back there i'm going to start recording my project that ill release through SkyLab Ent. I also have to finish my dual mixtape which is with Cloud 9/Honor Roll. THEN i'm going to try to do 2 other projects one solely produced by Hannibal and DJ Puerto Roc. Maybe i'll mixed it. Idk if i can have just ONE producer but we'll see. I bought like 6 beats off of Roc and i have yet to really conquer them but i do want to record something with him in jersey within the next month so i gotta get a move on but i can't rush greatness or my talent.

On a side note, incompetant, idiotic people are annoying. LMAO. Will not go in depth about it but whatever. BY THE WAY, I'm still obsessed over the SOCIAL NETWORK and want to see it again...anyone who wants to go, well, just contact me. I want to read and see the movie "waiting for superman" as well looks type dope. OHHH and just to bring Eminem back for a second, i'm doing a paper on him for one of my classes... like how ill is that?!?!?!?! I know and once i finish it i'm going to try and get it published somewhere...the makings of a young writer, Jonathan Andrew (separate from Jam Young).

LAST THING, Basketball starts tomorrow. A little nervous BUT not dwelling... THIS IS MY TIME. I know it and so i gotta take advantage of it. I have people believing in me and wanting this for me and NOW it's time for me to believe in myself. Everything else will come together after that. So let's make it happen jay. Tomorrow is the beginning of finding success, AGAIN. OH, on a funny note i through up today during my race but ended up 5th for the first time for my team BUT i let a certain somebody smoke me again. COME championship THIS WILL NOT BE ACCEPTABLE. SO i will get him back.

Jam on it People...
everything is coming (like lebron's ring)

March 23, 2010

So on March 23, 1990 i was born around 3am and on march 23, 2010...i offically began the twenties. Interesting thoughts swirled around in my head. Just another level of manhood and maturity i have to grow in-to and absorb. It's a little exciting and a little dull but crazy and an accomplishment none the less. This day represented A LOT of things for me, mainly a fresh start at my goals. A new decade. And the ending of a cycle that i was destined to break. I have to thank god, luck, my intelligence and EVERY SINGLE person, good or bad, who had an influence on me. This year marks the beginning of something special.

Also want to shout out Angelica Berry, whose birthday was 2 days before mine.
And Jasmine Campbell who's birthday was the day after mine.

Below, is a backstage look at the show i missed on my birthday. A show i really, really, wanted to go to. I'm a nerd when it comes to hip-hop, i must admit, and this would've been a nice start to my twenties but i'm sure they will be other opportunities and one day i'll be the one performing and some aspiring artist will want to see me and be upset they didn't get to go.

NEAKO ft. Shawn Chrystopher & Stalley (Live at SOBs 3.23.10) from Good*Fella Radio on Vimeo.This is Shawn Chrystopher's new mixtape which dropped on my birthday as well. Production by Woody on the 2nd track, who i hope to work with one day.
(Link from Shawn's site)http://honourrolestudent.com/The_Audition_EP.zip
(The Reason, last track on the mixtape)http://www.mediafire.com/?moz0omjzoy5
Also the video for "The Reason" can be found on youtube.
"Cause eventhrough my flaws, my love was always perfect"

A Blogger's Digest

Let me just say my birthday is approaching fast. 8days to be exact. I haven't really been avoiding blogging but I just haven't really wanted to express much at least openly.

I've been dealing with a lot of emotions and I also feel snagged or slighted in a way. Sometimes I feel selfish about things. For example, music. Just some songs I wish I was the only one to hear and was the only one privaleged enough to share it. Anyway, life's been moving. I still have many of my bad habits that I'm really trying to break. I've done better with being late but obstacles really love fucking with my progress. My organization, timely matter in which i do things. I don't know. I've been doing a lot of half ass work and even when i feel i did a good job, i feel like it's not anywhere close to my best work. Everytime i get a new class and a previously unknown professor i would like to make an impression, a really good impression, especially when it comes to writing.

Writing is my life.
Cliche?
Sure.
BUT...
true.

Cliche's are cliche's because many people have abused the phrase but that doesn't make the phrase untrue. Understand? If not, it's alright. I'm complicated like a woman. lol. So many emotions it's crazy. My mom is coming in town saturday morning. I'm kind of excited about that but i don't know i feel immune to the world sometimes. I'm ready for (ready?) almost anything that comes my way. I'm going to find a way to make things happen. Good things. For you, for me, for my family, for my loves, for my friends (friends?). Shit gets crazy. Intense. I usually depend on my blog and my music for negative/positive (negative more) expression but recently i have just been able to do it on my own...

does that mean i'm doing better? i don't know. It might just mean i'm more guarded, prepared, confident. But a lot of things hold me back. Rejection mainly. Rejection is a funny thing tho. I know what it feels like and maybe i should be a little more sympathetic towards it. When someone tells you they'll be waiting for you, something hard to believe but definitely possible. I've done it... doesn't mean i don't love them. I realize lust and needs sometimes go in front of love. I learned that a LONG time ago. It's crazy. Anyway, i'll just end it now. Things have been wild.

I forgot to mention my Brooklyn College sophmore season is officially over but we repeated and went to the NCAA tournament again. Next year hopefully we can exceed expectations. Especially myself. I've been sick recently although i have been working out again. Guess we'll see what happens. An entry on this will be posted soon.

Later

Mr.33

Holy shit. Talk about a crazy day. I shoulda wrote this entry MUCH earlier but fuck it. Well I had an intramural game against basically the worst team in intramurals. Technically, I'm suppose to play for one of them but I play for both but today I stayed true to the first team I played with which was blue. And then I went off...

I probably took about 20shots n hit more than ten of them. I hit like 6 three pointers and 3/3 for the free throw line. I coulda had a career high 40 points. I ended up with 33. Fuck it though that's my new lifetime high and I'm not gunna lie that shit felt good as hell. Like crazzzzyyyyyy amazing. I forgot that I could shoot like that. And it was a definite confidence booster although I had a little better average in practice. It could've been better for sure. But I'm at least increasing my play a bit. I get teased and what not but I don't really care anymore.

I know I belong.

And that's something that is hard for me to remember. I'm not a bad player. Neither is steven, shea, DV, or A.D. I'm a smart guard, not the quickest or the slimiest but I have to have confidence, protect the ball, and be strong. Those 3 things are the key to my success. Period. I'm not growinf anytime soon but what I am doing is building on the foundation I have. I'm probably in ONE of the best shapes of my life, mentally and physically. Senior year people new I was slimmier n I got to be back to that form. And even better.

Anyway, I just wanted to smile because regardless of who I didn't against I had one of the best games of my life, shooting wise. I never thought I'd break my old record but I did. With pride.

Soo in the words of jay-z...it's on the next one. :)

P.S. Happy bday to my sister. We had a great day! Love u!

Hope He reCeives My Love

Hey, i just want to shout out my uncle/brother Michael J. Rivera aka Em Jay (changed his name from Mike J. Gottie). Today's his birthday and he's spent the last five days in Vegas, which i'm certainly a little jelous of but hopefully my time will come. Actually, i know it will. I'm a wild boy and CAN'T HELP IT! ("I can't help it, if i wanted to, i can't help, even if i could" (RIP Michael Jackson)).

And Happy Birthday to my Man Marcus too. I just met him in the summer but he's a really cool dude. I found out he rapped and me and my man (partner) Johnny F took him to the studio and he recorded two songs with us. His first two songs EVER and hopefully they aren't the LAST too. Actually on friday i was suppose to go visit him in R.I., because he dorms there and plays football for a low D1 school (how cool is that) but i had work friday and i'm not that upset although it would've been nice chilling with him.

That reminds me i had a pretty good therapy session on Saturday. I actually made it on time, well of course i paid for a cab because technically i was late, lol. But i have to make a better effort to be more on time with things and i SWEAR i'm trying. I still have a few months left to try and earn my permit for driving. That was one of my goals for the year and can't forget about that.

Those who are wondering i'm still doing the Rebirth, or going through the Rebirth process. I just haven't mentioned it or really have been following it. I've been a mess, lack of sleep, school, i'm still not very adjusted and cordinated. Anyway, since school is starting i'll be back on my grind. I'm almost at entry 250 and the year anniversary is in a few months (december) so hopefully i can reach 400 by then. But i'm not going to rush or force anything.

I think i should go running, i don't well see. I just wanted to write about the events this week before i leave:

Sept 8.- Jay-Z "Blueprint 3" drops (A MUST BUY FOR EVERYONE!)
Raekwon "Only Built For Cuban Linx 2" (Debating about buying it but i heard it was going to be an awesome album)
50 Cent "50 Laws of (?)" mixtape drops which i will definitely download.
(p.s. i need to buy a new usb)
My school work out facility opens up! holla! i can't wait to be fit.
Then running cross country (if i can get someone to switch with me :/)
I need to buy my books and get a fucking loannnnnnnnnnnn!
I still owe the MTA MAD MONEY! So i have to get that done ASAP. (i'm gunna cry)

Sept 9. -First day of basketball workouts (nails bitting)
Possible drop off class and pick up of another

Sept 10. - Regular day of school :(
Probably going to RFK before i go to school

Sept 11. - 8 year anniversary of 9/11 (RIP to all the people that died)
8 year anniversary of the first Jay-Z "Blueprint"
Happy Birthday Fabolous
And Jay-Z concert, HOPEFULLLYYYYYYYYYYY (It's going to be telecated though @ 9 o clock)

Sept 12.- Therapy/possible work

Sept 13. - True Blood finale
Fist Cross Country Meet

stress....blah...stay positive...

JAM the fuck OUT!