401: The FinaL OutlaW

Newest Song Produced by my homie Dj Puerto Roc and Final Outlaw on the vocals

http://hulkshare.com/3qtewtxd4kbz


http://hulkshare.com/x10qzqhtlr3j

Freestyle videos:




DJ Puerto Roc & Final Outlaw's first collaboration

Last night i was chillen with both of them and i thought i should spotlight them on my blog especially since they dropped a new song like yesterday. The music and videos should speak for themselves. Dude is talented and really inspires me, especially since he's come from nothing. Give him a chance. He also just won 2nd place at the appollo in harlem and will be performing again on the 23rd. Stop sleeping!

"Caught in the Life"

http://hulkshare.com/4r0kjksfi7rh
Cymarshall Law- One MIllion Miles Away

If you LOVE hip-hop there is no doubt in my mind you will like at least the first verse of this song. Pure dopeness and realness. SO do YOURself a favor and download it.

Anyway, i know i haven't spoken much but i been rather preocuppied or speechless or maybe i just haven't had the right words to say. School just started so another hectic semester begins and one of 3 semesters left in my college (undergrad) career. I should be happy i guess. All things must come to end, so people say, and another new phase. Damn, wasn't freshmen year like yesterday and high school like a week ago. And i'm about to be 21, finally, yet i don't even want it to come yet. Slowly but surely it will. I guess i'm not in the greatest mood especially ignoring my homework to write this but there's nothing much i can do about anything. In the past few weeks/2 months this has happend:

-Fall semester ended, Spring Semester began
-Had a 3.48GPA last semester- far better than i've ever done or expected. No c's.
-I've recorded about 30 songs and 20 of them will be on the mixtape. The rest needs to be recorded.
-A girl i dated in high school for a month is now pregnant "interesting?" lol
-I've caught up to Entourage on season 4
-Sleeping habits are out of wack
-Smoked more than i have in my whole life
-Got a 50 dollar ticket for smoking a black n mild while typsy at 2 in the morning "FUCK THE POLICE"
-Seen the very limited playtime i've received decline into the negatives
-Realized i have a career 35 points in college and a carrer high in points (for a single game) in high school at 18.
-Realized my jump shot has gotten REAL but i'm still too scared to dribble or play point guard and everyone concerning basketball has little to no faith.
-Someone said to me today "you have balls for staying on the team after not playing. I would of quit"
-Bought production from DJ Puerto Roc
-See my bank account crying for a check
-Become really good friends with Wade and miss my friendship with DV although i am very understanding
-Been teased, abused, and bullied. "Fuck yall niggaz"
-Watched my basketball team fail misreasbly and can only watch.
-Accepting more and more that i hve a girlfriend
-Working my way to publish something someone has never done
-Become a better poet and lyrisct "Thanks Burgess and rap music"
-Lose my therapist after 3 consecutive years of therapy
-Miss my sisters. Hug my sisters. Wanted to kill my sisters.
-Wonder when i get to have my payback
-Hope to read more

I mean that doesn't sum it all up but you can have some more brief insight into my world.

Before i forget in less than an hour my friend Anthony Sideries will become 21, Happy Birthday man.

I would vent but i need sleep. Love you guys who still check the blog and even if you don't.

Night...

This Is For You...Even If You Hate Me

Yupppp (Trey Songz Voice)

"there's no much nonsense
it's on my conscience
i'm thinking baby i should get it out
and i don't wanna sound redundant
but i was wondering if there was something that you wanna know
(that you wanna know)
but never mind that we should let it go (we should let it go)
cos we don't wanna be a t.v episode (t.v episode)
and all the bad thoughts just let them go (go, go,"

And my personal favorite:

"hands down there will never be another one
i been around and i never seen another one
look at your style they ain't really got nothing on
and you out and you ain't got nothing on
baby you the whole package plus you pay your taxes
and you keep it real while them other stay plastic
you're my wonder women call me mr. fantastic
stop.. now think about it"

Old School

This will probably be my last post of the month. This month like i said has been very hectic so next month expect me to be back on my A game. I just wanted to post this video for all my original fans who bought "A Reason 2 Believe" and those who missed out. This is my first love song and i wanted to share it with you guys. Put it on YouTube on some bullshit but whatever. Hope you enjoy it (and the video is a result of listening to my old self and being bored :)...enjoy)

FRINGE INDIE MAGAZINE: First EVER Jam Young Interview INSIDE

FRINGE INDIE MAGAZINE


This is my first ever interview and my first publication concerning my rap career besides in high school. I'm hoping for a lot more things to come. If you guys can check it out, it would be well appreciated. FOR REAL.

Thank you Audrey Allure :)
and Shout out to Julian for splitting the article with me.

P.S. it's on page 8
P.P.S. Add a computer hardrive to my christmas list lol
P.P.P.S for the lazy people, i got the article on my page. GANGSTA!
Now back to work...

2 Poems I Created In September During Some of My Classes

Drawing Board:

No chargein my phone
while my blackberry is on the IV
6 hours of sleep, so i feel like dying
tear drops held back, but can be seen on my sleeves
mute in the silence, somebody help please...
Fuck life

WANT.Act.COME To Me.

Touch.
Feeling. Spark.
Heat, Frozen Time.
Still.
Painting, Wonderful
Bloss, of bright colors in a dark room.
Connection...
Connection...
I need you, I really need you and love you so much/ for this moment.
Rush. Speed.
heat, Frozen Time,
Still, continous.
Life it up, pick you up
sweet but rough, scream for me.
Tell me what you want, how can i please you, how can i peel you back, dig deep
with my hands or with my pistol, my secret weapon
I Just Need
One Shot
Maybe two or three, but i want to thrust and make you sweat.
Make you clinch, bring out your desire, make you soak.
Extra wet.
The degrees of fire, reign, wind, Earth, temperature, rise, but
We
Are
One.
Again, jsut for the night, i grab you, squeeze you
Sylvia spewed, drops of it on your mountains, on your small fruit
but way more on my gun from god, that helps create
Forth and back, swolen, but keep it going
CLoser... than ever... before
Sweet, texture, but rough, ruff, lose your voice for me.
Make me work, sweatshop, drops, position, light.
on and off
Heat, Frozen Time,
Still, Continous, until

Quick Post

What's good guys. My eyes are starting to hurt. Been up procrastinating on my work. So sad. I feel like a dissappointment even though in other areas i'm gaining a little confidence and what not. Tomorrow night i'm going to the studio after i go to RFK, for the fourth time this week. Crazy, I KNOW. I hope i'm not a loser. I just inspire people in the building and that inspires me. It's like a reminder of what i was and what i can be it's strange. Today i practiced with the boys and i thought it was a better practice and more productive then the one on monday. I got stronger (thanks Mulstay) and showed these young boys HOW it's done. :) yes i'm a big boy now lol.

I also ended up staying for the girls game. Didn't plan to stay for the whole thing but kinda glad i did. I saw an old friend of mine, who just so happens to be the coach. She did a terrific job and so did the girls. I think a couple of them took my advice AND hers and definitely did much better, which is a PLUS. Made me feel OLD and SMART... so this is what it feels like to get older lol. I don't want to be 20 yet, so let me just enjoy the rest of 2009, while i still can.

FYI i have off this week but have some MAJOR work to do. OH god please give me the strength to get it done. Today was my work day and i didn't do shit. FUCK. i'm getting fustrated again and after all the positive.

Just wanna say let's go trev and let's go me for the music session. I GOT to post up my article that was published on an online paper. I'll explain later. Hope people are still reading this and checking up on me. It's always well appreciated. TRUST ME.

Later

Exclusive

http://usershare.net/YouHeardThatNew/asdawqme4eld
DOWNLOAD ASAP!!! Lil Wayne ft. Eminem- Drop the world Collabo

It's crazy man. I heard the song twice, i don't have a computer so i can't add any new music onto my ipod (FML lol). Just as a side note: when i say fuck life or fuck my life, i don't actually mean it. It's more like fuck this situation. It's wack and retarded. That clear things up. i hope so.

Now before i end this entry i MUST say LIL WAYNE, i have a marketing scheme for you. Well it's not really a marketing ploy as it is just advice of what i think the album, REBIRTH, could sound like or potientially be in order to get people excited. so if you care to know what it is, just like comment on my blog. lol. I'm dead serious. If you somehow come across this though, just MAKE A VIDEO FOR THE SONG above AND you might see some hype starting. To quote Jae Millz

LEGOOOOOO!

Seriously...

What the fuck is wrong with me. Seriously...

Like I don't understand. I just don't at all and maybe that's why I've been exhausted and mentally strained. Like basketball and music my gift and my curse. Or maybe it's my confidence and insecurity. I don't know what the fuck it is. Cause even when I feel good before practice, during and after I feel so upset n dissappointed. What the hell do I do?

It's like a math problem, that's simple but I can't figure it out. It's something. When I step on to that court, with those players I'm like a zombie, I'm powerless, I'm just sucky. My potential and my skill and whatever talent I have goes out the window. My intelligence is gone. And now that everyone else is better it's like I continue to being the worst, like absolutely the worst. I mean I like being put into these situations where I struggle but what else can I do?

In music, it's this flow, this aggression, my bars. I'm fucking good in basketball and music. Music more but I feel both I suck at to people. People have seen my potiential only sometimes and it hurts a lot. But I'm like watching myself fuck up and can't do shit. Even when I'm getting better OUTSIDE of the brooklyn college gym when I step on, it just sucks. Today Ty gave me some encouragement which I really appreciated. Seriously I need, like need stuff like that. I don't get many things like that or enough but I still should be able to do better and show I am better. That I'm good. One day GREAT.

Anyway, I just need to pray or something. Figure this stupid ass shit out. Fuck...

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