"Caught in the Life"

http://hulkshare.com/4r0kjksfi7rh
Cymarshall Law- One MIllion Miles Away

If you LOVE hip-hop there is no doubt in my mind you will like at least the first verse of this song. Pure dopeness and realness. SO do YOURself a favor and download it.

Anyway, i know i haven't spoken much but i been rather preocuppied or speechless or maybe i just haven't had the right words to say. School just started so another hectic semester begins and one of 3 semesters left in my college (undergrad) career. I should be happy i guess. All things must come to end, so people say, and another new phase. Damn, wasn't freshmen year like yesterday and high school like a week ago. And i'm about to be 21, finally, yet i don't even want it to come yet. Slowly but surely it will. I guess i'm not in the greatest mood especially ignoring my homework to write this but there's nothing much i can do about anything. In the past few weeks/2 months this has happend:

-Fall semester ended, Spring Semester began
-Had a 3.48GPA last semester- far better than i've ever done or expected. No c's.
-I've recorded about 30 songs and 20 of them will be on the mixtape. The rest needs to be recorded.
-A girl i dated in high school for a month is now pregnant "interesting?" lol
-I've caught up to Entourage on season 4
-Sleeping habits are out of wack
-Smoked more than i have in my whole life
-Got a 50 dollar ticket for smoking a black n mild while typsy at 2 in the morning "FUCK THE POLICE"
-Seen the very limited playtime i've received decline into the negatives
-Realized i have a career 35 points in college and a carrer high in points (for a single game) in high school at 18.
-Realized my jump shot has gotten REAL but i'm still too scared to dribble or play point guard and everyone concerning basketball has little to no faith.
-Someone said to me today "you have balls for staying on the team after not playing. I would of quit"
-Bought production from DJ Puerto Roc
-See my bank account crying for a check
-Become really good friends with Wade and miss my friendship with DV although i am very understanding
-Been teased, abused, and bullied. "Fuck yall niggaz"
-Watched my basketball team fail misreasbly and can only watch.
-Accepting more and more that i hve a girlfriend
-Working my way to publish something someone has never done
-Become a better poet and lyrisct "Thanks Burgess and rap music"
-Lose my therapist after 3 consecutive years of therapy
-Miss my sisters. Hug my sisters. Wanted to kill my sisters.
-Wonder when i get to have my payback
-Hope to read more

I mean that doesn't sum it all up but you can have some more brief insight into my world.

Before i forget in less than an hour my friend Anthony Sideries will become 21, Happy Birthday man.

I would vent but i need sleep. Love you guys who still check the blog and even if you don't.

Night...

And It's Over... For Now...

Sad shit really. Extremely sad shit. Yesterday was my last full day and last night in Florida and i tried to spend it as good as possible. Went to the pool again, went to get NY pizza in Florida, and just watched my last episode of Dexter (season 2) and true blood's latest one. Worked out a little. It was actual a beautiful ending...in a sense. My sisters and i swam in the pool and reminisced. We laughed mostly and tried to reconcile things about our past...things that they didn't know/remember. I told them a few things but its funny how much i forgot at the moment...it seemed like the 20 years of my life went by so fast. I was choked up. It feels like it was just the other day, we were living up stairs in our 2 family house, with my mom and it was us 3. Me, Victoria, and Ashley. It was like a movie honestly. And i don't think they realize the intensity of the situation. My youth...is ending. Sure the 20's are going to be, possibly the best years of my life BUT i'll be grown up. Looking for a real job, contemplating kids, marriage and all that other shit you think about when your a kid but honestly i think every grown up would like to be a kid again...at least until maybe they have one. A kid. that is a part of you. looks like you. acts like you. My sisters won't be teens for long and by the time you know it, things may be so different... and just on an (insert/cliff note) i'll miss my mom a lot too. It's always a pleasure having her around but i'm use to her not being around...but my sisters...not really. They've always been there and just their presence sometimes has kept me going. Now i'm going back to college point with an empty bedroom and mixed feelings. That place use to feel like home and maybe it still will be but it won't be the same. At all. I just can't take this right now.

I just really wish i could be there again...how did everything happen so fast. The divorce. The moving. The remarriage. The moving. The running away. The me-leaving. The closer i get to 21...the more and more i realize that growing up kinda sucks...especially when your doing it alone. All i wanna do is cry. shit all i'm doing is crying but i have to get ready and move. The best people in life learn to adjust and i guess even when their heart is dismembered, they strive. That's what i'm best at. Falling off the horse and trying again...no matter how many or how bad my insecurities are. I've wrote mainly painful entries in this blog and this is no different. BUt only the future and god knows what its hold and then again, maybe not even them. All i know is that...i have to make a change and call. Visit more. This once a year crap has to be done. Its gunna be hard tho, when its just me going down there and they may be coming up...means i may not see my mom.

I'd write more but i have to make this place a lot less personal. AND i have to get ready. itsallgoodevenwhenitaint... well we'll see.

Happy Birthday Mom...

Also Happy (early) Birthday to Farah. 21! lol.
Today is going to be a verrrryyyy interesting start to a an eventful week...hopefully. No jinxing lol. But this entry isn't to vent, it is simply here to re-introduce you and myself to why i rap... I'm posting a verse i wrote when i was 16 that helped re-inspire me today, of why i shouldn't give up on my dream. Hope you like. Another entry will probably be posted today too tho :)

P.S. Thank Me Later IN STORES NOW
and (a bit more important)so is...
EMINEM'S RECOVERY!!!!

(yo pass that)
Don't play cards game but i declare war
You start it, i finish it boy
better stir me cause i'm that raw
getting stack the size of a chainsaw
better stand tall, or don't stand at all
but either way you gon fall like the towers
tee on the color of baby powder
cause that's how i do son
unit by unit, that's how i move son
smoother than baby oil, leave niggaz under soil
hot boy, under the sun i boil,
plans getting foiled, cause your henchmen are unloyal
while i'm royalty, like yall bitch, yall niggaz is under me
cause i'm thunderin, hollerin, hootin
this ain't bball practice when niggaz start shootin
yall cunts are stupid
call me baby cause homie i'm ruth-less
just hip-hop's nusence,
yall niggaz droppin dimes, i'm droppin two sense
i am the offense, no offense intended to you lames
all yall my children cause i'm sonnin this game
Tiki Barber on the mic, i'm running this game
I'm on fire, leaving streaks of flame when i step,
rain man, i can make deserts wet, without droppin an ounce of sweat
like 12 reps, i'm set, call me 42, cause i place the bet
i am the best, yall just incorrect
now feel the pain i'm about in to inflict, nigga
(gun sound)

ahh young me

*Jam On It*

Recommendation Part 10: Get Your Dose of Normalcy and V5!

Here's the link:http://www.mediafire.com/?ntynj3rjjzm
*If the link doesn't work, visit datpiff.com or 2dopeboyz.com or whereischarleshamilton.com

This cd is Charles Hamilton at his finest, so i've read, not officially heard, but from the leaks it sounds like the old Charles mixed in with some new shit. I'm actually listening to it while i type but it takes me time to digest music. Anywho, my man (pause) is back, so please try and fuck with it. I've promoted Charles Hamilton o.d. on this site and i will continue regardless of any shananigans because he's dope. Wierd but being NORMAL is never in, ya dig. Plus Charles's music has helped influence my music and helped me get through tough situations that i dealt with last year.


Link:http://www.mediafire.com/?fy0nxig2nzr
New banks!!! Wooo man you already know. I love Lloyd Banks as a rapper but he's not very versatile. He's definitely improved and is showing his growth as an artist. Doing shit without 50 or any features really. Banks holds his own as the punchline king aka PLK. If you want dope music, i always recommend Banks. Although i can't listen to him to much, he's definitely influence my metaphors as well and from what i've heard this is dopest mixtape yet. So roll up a blunt and roll with it!

Special Bonus:

http://usershare.net/jhrfvrdz6qv8
As i special bonus, i added the homie B/A aka Bagdad aka Hansommanson. This dude right here is pretty talented and is a friend/associate of Charles Hamilton. I talk to him on twitter, he's a Harlem Representative, and hopefully i can do a couple tracks with him and put him on my mixtape. This was one of the surprise features i'm working on but i just need the DOPIUM MUSIC. So download the homie B/A too.

Mood Ring Part 15: I'm Good...If You Think About Me

These two songs are dope as fuck. The 2nd video is better. I've wanted to do this mood ring for a WHILE now, so i thought i get it out of the way too before i go to sleep.

NEWWWWW MUUUUSSSSIIIICCCC on the WAYYYYYYY i promise.
Night yall.

I Hope The Music Is Coming...

Self-explanatory...