"Caught in the Life"

http://hulkshare.com/4r0kjksfi7rh
Cymarshall Law- One MIllion Miles Away

If you LOVE hip-hop there is no doubt in my mind you will like at least the first verse of this song. Pure dopeness and realness. SO do YOURself a favor and download it.

Anyway, i know i haven't spoken much but i been rather preocuppied or speechless or maybe i just haven't had the right words to say. School just started so another hectic semester begins and one of 3 semesters left in my college (undergrad) career. I should be happy i guess. All things must come to end, so people say, and another new phase. Damn, wasn't freshmen year like yesterday and high school like a week ago. And i'm about to be 21, finally, yet i don't even want it to come yet. Slowly but surely it will. I guess i'm not in the greatest mood especially ignoring my homework to write this but there's nothing much i can do about anything. In the past few weeks/2 months this has happend:

-Fall semester ended, Spring Semester began
-Had a 3.48GPA last semester- far better than i've ever done or expected. No c's.
-I've recorded about 30 songs and 20 of them will be on the mixtape. The rest needs to be recorded.
-A girl i dated in high school for a month is now pregnant "interesting?" lol
-I've caught up to Entourage on season 4
-Sleeping habits are out of wack
-Smoked more than i have in my whole life
-Got a 50 dollar ticket for smoking a black n mild while typsy at 2 in the morning "FUCK THE POLICE"
-Seen the very limited playtime i've received decline into the negatives
-Realized i have a career 35 points in college and a carrer high in points (for a single game) in high school at 18.
-Realized my jump shot has gotten REAL but i'm still too scared to dribble or play point guard and everyone concerning basketball has little to no faith.
-Someone said to me today "you have balls for staying on the team after not playing. I would of quit"
-Bought production from DJ Puerto Roc
-See my bank account crying for a check
-Become really good friends with Wade and miss my friendship with DV although i am very understanding
-Been teased, abused, and bullied. "Fuck yall niggaz"
-Watched my basketball team fail misreasbly and can only watch.
-Accepting more and more that i hve a girlfriend
-Working my way to publish something someone has never done
-Become a better poet and lyrisct "Thanks Burgess and rap music"
-Lose my therapist after 3 consecutive years of therapy
-Miss my sisters. Hug my sisters. Wanted to kill my sisters.
-Wonder when i get to have my payback
-Hope to read more

I mean that doesn't sum it all up but you can have some more brief insight into my world.

Before i forget in less than an hour my friend Anthony Sideries will become 21, Happy Birthday man.

I would vent but i need sleep. Love you guys who still check the blog and even if you don't.

Night...

Happy Birthday Eminem

Happy Birthday Em. I know my blog is starting to look like the Eminem Show or the Stan show (no pun intended) :) but he really is the greatest. Above is a glimpse of his greatness in 1999 and i sort of remade this song in my own way on this guy hannibal's beat. I might add a fourth verse and someother shit to it, we'll see. Anywho... just wanted to update you guys. My grandfather's leaving tuesday to go back to Ecuador, kinda sad. 4weeks go by quick, i tell you that much. It's just hard because a lot of people, rather most people in my life just kind of up and leave. But i know he'll come back and i'll definitely try and call him at least 3 times more than i do now (which is zero). Sad, again, i know, trust me.

On some good news though, i finally hung out with my uncle mike and i think i impressed the founder and studio owner of skylab ent., Los. Cool guy. Hispanic. Just started rapping. He liked my songs and i always feel weird having these guys who don't know my music...listen to it, ya know. Anyway, when i go back there i'm going to start recording my project that ill release through SkyLab Ent. I also have to finish my dual mixtape which is with Cloud 9/Honor Roll. THEN i'm going to try to do 2 other projects one solely produced by Hannibal and DJ Puerto Roc. Maybe i'll mixed it. Idk if i can have just ONE producer but we'll see. I bought like 6 beats off of Roc and i have yet to really conquer them but i do want to record something with him in jersey within the next month so i gotta get a move on but i can't rush greatness or my talent.

On a side note, incompetant, idiotic people are annoying. LMAO. Will not go in depth about it but whatever. BY THE WAY, I'm still obsessed over the SOCIAL NETWORK and want to see it again...anyone who wants to go, well, just contact me. I want to read and see the movie "waiting for superman" as well looks type dope. OHHH and just to bring Eminem back for a second, i'm doing a paper on him for one of my classes... like how ill is that?!?!?!?! I know and once i finish it i'm going to try and get it published somewhere...the makings of a young writer, Jonathan Andrew (separate from Jam Young).

LAST THING, Basketball starts tomorrow. A little nervous BUT not dwelling... THIS IS MY TIME. I know it and so i gotta take advantage of it. I have people believing in me and wanting this for me and NOW it's time for me to believe in myself. Everything else will come together after that. So let's make it happen jay. Tomorrow is the beginning of finding success, AGAIN. OH, on a funny note i through up today during my race but ended up 5th for the first time for my team BUT i let a certain somebody smoke me again. COME championship THIS WILL NOT BE ACCEPTABLE. SO i will get him back.

Jam on it People...
everything is coming (like lebron's ring)

A Blogger's Digest

Let me just say my birthday is approaching fast. 8days to be exact. I haven't really been avoiding blogging but I just haven't really wanted to express much at least openly.

I've been dealing with a lot of emotions and I also feel snagged or slighted in a way. Sometimes I feel selfish about things. For example, music. Just some songs I wish I was the only one to hear and was the only one privaleged enough to share it. Anyway, life's been moving. I still have many of my bad habits that I'm really trying to break. I've done better with being late but obstacles really love fucking with my progress. My organization, timely matter in which i do things. I don't know. I've been doing a lot of half ass work and even when i feel i did a good job, i feel like it's not anywhere close to my best work. Everytime i get a new class and a previously unknown professor i would like to make an impression, a really good impression, especially when it comes to writing.

Writing is my life.
Cliche?
Sure.
BUT...
true.

Cliche's are cliche's because many people have abused the phrase but that doesn't make the phrase untrue. Understand? If not, it's alright. I'm complicated like a woman. lol. So many emotions it's crazy. My mom is coming in town saturday morning. I'm kind of excited about that but i don't know i feel immune to the world sometimes. I'm ready for (ready?) almost anything that comes my way. I'm going to find a way to make things happen. Good things. For you, for me, for my family, for my loves, for my friends (friends?). Shit gets crazy. Intense. I usually depend on my blog and my music for negative/positive (negative more) expression but recently i have just been able to do it on my own...

does that mean i'm doing better? i don't know. It might just mean i'm more guarded, prepared, confident. But a lot of things hold me back. Rejection mainly. Rejection is a funny thing tho. I know what it feels like and maybe i should be a little more sympathetic towards it. When someone tells you they'll be waiting for you, something hard to believe but definitely possible. I've done it... doesn't mean i don't love them. I realize lust and needs sometimes go in front of love. I learned that a LONG time ago. It's crazy. Anyway, i'll just end it now. Things have been wild.

I forgot to mention my Brooklyn College sophmore season is officially over but we repeated and went to the NCAA tournament again. Next year hopefully we can exceed expectations. Especially myself. I've been sick recently although i have been working out again. Guess we'll see what happens. An entry on this will be posted soon.

Later

Don't Judge Me...

WELL EXXXXXXXCCCCCCUUUUSSSSSEEEEE THE SHIT OUT OF ME


3 Quick Things:
Don't let this hurt my integrity but the two photos above...OMG!
The things i would learn to do for these women. The things i would do to these women. AND the things i will DO to these pictures. I don't like to get into details BUT i never really feel this way about pictures but holy shit. Something about them... idk. I'm mainly speaking about the one with the apple but i posted both because they both do the same thing.

That was basically the first two things...so don't judge me for being a guy. A young extravegent guy at that lol.

3rd is, the fact i took time out to do this entry when i'm not done with my essays. And i think it's finally happend. After 19 years i finally realized that i can't do things last minute anymore and i realized that certain people, you just can't count on. I guess that's life....

That's all folks (stutter, porky the pig voice)

Need To Enrich Your Life? Listen to Will

Yo i swear i wish i knew jay-z, wish Will Smith was my father, and that i was dating jennifer anniston. But on some real shit, i've talked to you guys about the connection between my real father and Will Smith, so when i see Will Smith it's really wierd for me. Maybe that's why Pursuit of Happyness is like one of my favorite movies. That shit is emotional and i'm dysfunctional lol. I guess that makes sense. But for real take ten minutes out your day and watch this video. It's everything you're scared to hear and everything you don't want to do but should.

Only Jay-Z...

Yes. For those who know ONLY jay-z can do a bunch of shit and get away with it as well perform at events that no one in rap could've have imagined. For example, yesterday Jay-Z performed at yankee stadium (to my knowledge he's the first "rapper" ever to do something like that). It's amazing what one man accomplish. Sometimes i wonder if i could really even achieve 1/16 of his fame, love, friends, hate, success, and money. But regardless if i ever achieve my own dreams, Jay-Z has opened the door for hiphop, opened the door to Kanye West's ignorance and creativity. It's crazy. It makes me happy and the fact that he performed "Empire State of Mind" at the new yankee stadium leaves me speechless. I'm a little upset that he didn't do the third verse but the vibe is so paramount. Crazy. And on that note i also want to mention that i think i would pee in my pants, lmao, if even got a hook from Jay-Z but i have to remember that NOBODY is perfect. Not even our idols. They have faults, that we accept. Jay-Z probably did some grimey shit to "the little people" all big GUYS do but for everybody they trashed, they also helped other random people out. Through their music, charity, concerts, and being endorsements for political and social figures. That's just a rant because jay-z got dissed ONCE AGAIN, but an old friend of his, but that's life i guess.

Just enjoy the performance and for the first time in life, i don't hate the yankees. I want them to win and i feel this new sense of NEW YORK PRIDE. Except Pedro Martinez is my nigga! lol. Had to throw in something retarded.

Harsh Reality/Mood Ring Part 6

"Booty and Breasts are something that you can't own"
"Fuck what you heard like a dick in your ear(hole)" lmao. Trey songz is a beast. That is fact. I'd do an album with him true story but that's not what I wanted to touch on. Basically this one is about being faithful.

(Why did I mention trey songz than) for two simple reasons: his song sparked this entry and because of my arrogance that says this is my fucking blog and I can do what I want lol.

Okay soooo Trey remixed Mariah Carey's "obsessed" song and pretty much ripped the shit. Talking about how a girl fucked him and then her baby daddy calls him arguing and shit. But trey says she didn't even mention that she had a man. Which happends in a lot of situations. I understand or rather grasp the concept of cheating especially when your not married but I only kind of believe in that if people are young. Still people should tryyyyyyy to be faithful.

See this is the difference, woman expect men to cheat and are insecure BUT what woman don't understand is that men are JUST if NOT MORE sensitive than women are. Example a guy who fucks countless woman usually because he got hurt by one first.and doesn't take the chance in loving a woman. Also when a girl cheats men barely have forgiveness because it hurts soooooo much more. Well I can't say that for all situations of course. But it drives us insane, to the point that we can cry and feel helpless.

I just needed to vent for that. I thought about what if the woman I love ever cheated on me, which can/would/will be a possibility when it happends but I'm just saying.

Anyway, I'm in the theaters about to watch district 9. I'll talk to you guys soon. Still have a few more entries I need to post.

P.S. Parenthesis was an edit (the one above) and so i decided to put the song as well now that i'm on a computer :) holla!