Jam Young- My Heart [Official Music Video]

What's good yall? I'm reporting live from Ecuador and wanted to drop in to let all my followers know i just dropped a new video a few days ago. All the visuals you see were shot in Astoria and L.I.C. Queens with a really professional camera. A friend of mine, Michelle, from Brooklyn College shot it, edited it, and helped me get a step closer to my dream so toast to that women. Shout out to POPPEN ENT., The Council, and Ed with the only real cameo. Hope yall enjoy.

Also, look at for more music, interviews, and videos PLUS of course my debut mixtape "A Writer's Dream" plus i will be posting some new music from fellow emcees.

Jam Young & DJ Puerto Roc In The Studio

Remember the "Single" i wrote about a few months back, well here's a preview of what it will sound like. #lego

Crazy Dreams

Hey yall?

Isn't it crazy the things that happen from the moment you fall asleep and wake up. It's like a si-fi story in your mind and it feels so real. Last night i had a dream i was in New Jersey or what looked like jersey (lol) with a girl i really love and a dog. We were in a bank taking out money and she went outside before i finished my transactions and as she walked out i felt something going wrong. I saw these four guys leave right behind her. Next moment i hear my dog outside barking and people screaming. I go check where they are, which is like a caged area with grass, and the men are trying to attack my dog back. No one is doing anything. I save my dog and then look for my girlfriend. She is no where to be found because there are several men now with the same outfit with different people in another outfit. I notice in the corner of my eye she's in like this pink outfit and the men are holding her up but she is barley conscious. I chase after them and try to grab her back. The adrenaline picks up. I start fighting off these guys, the cops are there but doing nothing. Somehow i get her back and put her up against the wall and then start balling. I'm crying trying to get help and do something but can't.

My dream stopped.

To you guys reading the story may not be crazy but you can all relate to having such a crazy dream and when you wake you up it feels intensly real.

Anyway, just wanted to write something.

J-eXclusIvE

If you ain't heard it, then you heard it here first. Period.Basically i'm saying that there is so much new music out that you might of missed some of it so i'm dropping links of some of my favorite stuff out of the bunch. Check it out:

Eminem: Not Afraid (Prod. by Boi1da)http://www.mediafire.com/?f2jlrmzwhio
Eminem: Despicable Freestyle http://www.mediafire.com/?ndt2ldyh2zy
Drake: Find Your Love (Prod by Kanye West)http://usershare.net/2DopeBoyz/0yeexgaff9li
Drake: Miss Me (Prod. by Boi1da)http://usershare.net/2DopeBoyz/hxq9vlubksk2
J.Cole: Who Dat (Prod. by J.Cole/Elite)http://usershare.net/2DopeBoyz/6qeuzaxg40rg
Game: The R.E.D. Room Mixtape http://www.mediafire.com/?wnnenw5zgke

Everybody has been raving about this video right here...and NOW after seeing it i understand why (lol)

Last BUT not least GO COP THAT B.O.B album!!!!!!!! (picture above)
Here's a crazy ass joint from it, that might get you interested
DL link: http://usershare.net/2DopeBoyz/t7b70ys9ry9h

P.S. THIS IS LAST!
Nobody reading this probably knows who Kendrick Lamar is but he's cool with Jay Rock (1 of 10 XXL Freshmen 2010) and he makes dope music. I'll post two songs that got me interested, check it.

One WHOLE motherFUCKING YeaR!

Over 300 entries later.
30 songs recorded.
Championship season.
Later and so much more.

Here it is. A year ago on december 19th, I discovered how to create a blog. I don't want to take credit for other poeple starting a blog BUT many people took a liking to it and I tried with the help of Julian and others to influence other peers to create one. Many of them have not continued to write but at least i/they tried. I have to thank Mr.Hamilton, who doesn't have a blogspot anymore after 2 years and a bunch of torment later BUT if it wasn't for him, I probably wouldn't have discovered as much as I have about networking and about BLOGGING.

Anyway, I'm am proud AS fuck to say that I have made it a year with this bad boy. It means a lot to me and as I write this late to work and in the freezing cold, I appreciate all my readeers, followers, and blpogspot who has become one of my closest friends and outlet to write in. I can't be in the studio everyday yet, can't go to therapy everyday but if I ever needed to vent, I had this blog. And so we continue...

I'm just finishing this blog entry because there was a fucking hurricane at work. Seriously, shit was type wild. Not as bad as black friday but pretty bad. My eyes hurt, which makes me squint. Anyway, I'm not going to do anything special maybe I'll release a freestyle or something when I get home. I got mad joints that are waiting in the wing that I probably won't use. I don't know. Just feel kind of depressed, sad, not really lonely but definitely a bit of just something. I guess in need of family and when you have one girl constantly on your mind, you want her to be there. And as a side note maybe that's why I get angry or just don't want her around when I see her. It's not like I intentionally go see her, it's complicated as everything in life is. I'm just saying it's been over a year and I wish I could get over it. A part of me really wants to when I get so sad about shit like that.

Anyway, back to what I was saying. Right now it's snowing beautifully. I miss the snow. It always reminds me of being a kid. Snow is like god's gift to new york during the holiday season. It's wild and in a positive way. I know that in growing up christmas kind of detetorates. I'm definitely feeling that BUT it's also because I have no family togetherness. MY sister received a 400 dollar ipod for christmas and my aunt just gave it to her, like christmas doesn't exist. What happend to the excitement of waiting up until 12, begging your parents to open presents before hand and they told you to wait. What about the fact that all the grown ups surround you with cameras and smiles and wanted to see how light up your face got when you found out they had gotten you what you've been wanting for so long. What happend to christmas being Christmas? I wish I knew. Like I really wish I knew. I almost want to cry thinking about it. Christmas hasn't been the same since my mom left new york. That's all. Now she's in Florida, my dad is stuck in his own world, with his new children and his "wife," my grandparents on my mom's side are in ecuador, everybody's poor, my grandparents that I rarely live with don't even ask me what I want, and my two sisters and I are all in different locations. So I'm sorry for the complaining, I just remember when things were complicated, not dramatic, sad, and drawn out. Whatever. I have no right to complain because I have it better than others. I just remember a time when it was so much more, simple.

I also plan on buying some gifts, just don't know what. Might get my sister a cd, my other little sis some money. My grandfather a cd player, my grandma a book, my aunt, no clue, and a couple of my friends...if not just one or two special people. I don't even have anyone to exchange gifts with. Like I said whatever.

Right now it's one something and a family is going outside with their kids to observe and enjoy the snow. Reminds me of when I made my first snow man with my dad. We worked so hard on it and right in front of this exact building. We forgot the camera so we went to go get it and by the time we came back some fucking punk knocked it down. :/

God I really need my therapist. It's been about a month since I've seen her and I have so much to talk about. I guess I gotta organize and break it down BUT I gotta finish my essays first. Boy do I have a LONG day ahead of me tomorrow, some how I gotta figure it out. Some how. I haven't been strong anough lately to finish shit but hopefully I do. And don't lose like a bazillion points on my essay. Yea I'm fucked. I'm really fucked a matter fact but whatever, I guess.

So much to say. But I think I've said enough. So let's bring back the positive stuff I was first talking about it. I've made a lot of improvements in various areas that no one ever notices BUT as long as I noticed that's what matters. Although I'm confused and have all these feelings, I'm really not that bad off, seriously. This may be one of the best times in my life so far and yet so many things are out of place. It's okay though because I'm making strides and I HOPE all of you will. And maybe next year this time, this will be a little more different, and way better. Way better. Happy holidays for real. Thank you for reading. :)

1 whole year! I think I need some sangria. Haha.

Night yall

Exclusive

http://usershare.net/YouHeardThatNew/asdawqme4eld
DOWNLOAD ASAP!!! Lil Wayne ft. Eminem- Drop the world Collabo

It's crazy man. I heard the song twice, i don't have a computer so i can't add any new music onto my ipod (FML lol). Just as a side note: when i say fuck life or fuck my life, i don't actually mean it. It's more like fuck this situation. It's wack and retarded. That clear things up. i hope so.

Now before i end this entry i MUST say LIL WAYNE, i have a marketing scheme for you. Well it's not really a marketing ploy as it is just advice of what i think the album, REBIRTH, could sound like or potientially be in order to get people excited. so if you care to know what it is, just like comment on my blog. lol. I'm dead serious. If you somehow come across this though, just MAKE A VIDEO FOR THE SONG above AND you might see some hype starting. To quote Jae Millz

LEGOOOOOO!

Mood Ring Part 13: Wale, J.Cole, & Melanie Fiona "Beautiful Bliss"

This song is my new anthem. Both Wale's verses are on point and well J.Cole is a beast. Already one of my favorite artists with only 4 official mixtapes, and 2 like real mixtapes. He's definitely the next upcoming thing and i hope he forever keeps it real and has longevity in this crappy hip-hop industry. If i had to do a song with someone right now (besides Eminem, Kanye, and Jay-Z of course) it would definitely be him. Just take 5 minutes out of your day, turn off the lights, turn this song up and enjoy. I want a song just like this to be my first ever single. DIG IT!

"It's a beautiful day, when you feel like this"

This is EXACTLY why I NEED the IPHONE in MY Life

One word: Crack

Poetic Practice

Everytime I try to do, something for you
It's like I'm doing wrong to you, ain't nothing right that I can do, I'm like a sickness, swine flu, with no medicine
There you go, getting into my head-again, there you go, telling me you won't give me head-again, if I don't head out and make some friends, make some ends, so I take my pen,

And do just that, make friends with my fans, make ends from the raps, but you still complain,
Nothing good that I can do, too young, too immature, too hood for you, well if that's true
I can totally understand why where at, where we're at,
Trying climb up the hill cause there ain't no flat, lands, just a bad, man, but no one can do what I can, I swear

Yet no one believes me...
Yet no one wanna tell me how they miss me, wanna see me, NOPE,
A year passes, burning like some acid, ashes, rashes, nasty, ugh, need some asses, in handy, instead of my hand be, which I don't even use,
Cause the paper I abuse, with the gears in my mind, my troubles are my tools,
Wreckless fools, leave me with no food

But I hunt, and make the best of it, trying not to mess with it, whatever suboncious thoughts are under my fitted

It is what it is, either I got the golden ticket, or I survive through my endeavors and learn to live with it...you feel it...

Poetic Practice, got me exposed like a cactus, no shades, everydays, like this,, survive through my endeavors and learn to live with it, ya dig it?

"On To The Next One" Blueprint 3 Review FINALLY!

I want to start by saying... i'm probably the LAST MAN on EARTH to do this review but i don't know sometimes i'm BIG on being a BIG procrastinator lol. Fuck it. (I won't be cursing in the review) Last i'm going to say that i'm going to try to be objective since i NOW put Jay-Z and Eminem as my number one favorite artist(s) of all time. Now let's get it moving already...

"What We Talking About" is the intro to Jay-Z's epic, new sounding album, The Blueprint 3. Now before we break down the song, ask this question outloud to yourself? What are we talking about. What is Jay, himself talking about? What are we expecting him to talk about? AND does he have anything LEFT to say. After reading over 15 reviews on the album, many pose this question what more can he say? The reason they ask this is because Jay-Z himself, prior to his comeback album Kingdom Come asked us the question firs. "What More Can I Say" Jay-Z proclaimed on the album and many people believe that he doesn't have much MORE to say, cause he has said it all. Now it's just the same old talk but in a new way. There's nothing WRONG with that but i indeed asked myself the question, how does Jay-Z, 11 solo albums in, millions and millions of dollars in, and countless other venues, shows, and parties in, have something to still SAY and something to GIVE listeners and MAINLY hip-hop. Jay's answer is quite simply this:
"
What we talkin' bout real shit? Or we talkin' bout ryhmes
You talkin' bout millions Or you talking' bout mine
What we talkin' bout Cuz I ain't got time
For what people be talkin' bout all the time
What we talkin' bout fiction Or we talkin bout fact
You talkin' bout fiction? Hold up pardon my back
I'm talkin' bout life And all I hear is Oh yeah he keeps talkin' bout crack
I ain't talkin' bout profit I'm talkin' bout pain
I'm talkin' bout despair I'm talkin' bout shame
I ain't talkin' bout gossip I ain't talkin' bout Game
I ain't talkin bout Jimmy I ain't talkin' bout Dame
I'm talkin' bout real shit Dem people playin'
What is you talkin' bout I don't know what y'all sayin'
People keep talkin' bout Hov take it back
I'm doin' better than before Why would I do that?
Ain't nothing cool bout carryin' a strap
Bout worryin' your moms And buryin' your best cat
Talkin' bout revenge While carryin' his casket
All teary-eyed Bout to take it to a matress
I'm talkin' bout music I ain't talkin' bout rap
You talkin' bout who's hot I ain't talkin' bout that
The conversation is changed Lets yap about that
I don't run rap no more I run the map"

Now what i highlighted is Jay-Z telling rap fans to STOP! expectating something of the same variety of what he use to do. He can't do it! without coming off as a gimmick. He got lucky with American Gangster because it was a "concept" album, that i personally loved but ladies and gents Hov's moved on and you should too. But let's get back to the question, of what he's trying to do here. Hov's trying to make a statement, in english terms a thesis statement but the problem is, that his statement is unclear to the audience and to himself. With an unclear thesis statement there are going to be holes and things that seem a bit, confusing. That's what the rest of the album is like. For example , DOA (Death of the Autone) is an amazing concept with an even better excution, especially production wise. Produce No I.D. straight ripped this. With the horns and screeching violens, as an artist i always want to just jump on and rap on it, and as a listener it's just a BANGER. It knocks so hard in my headphones and although people are probably sick of this song by now, anytime i listen to it, i just love it. The vibe is dope and Hov's flow is wondeful and NEW. The problem is that the lyrics although great are relatively simple for Jay-Z's taste. Lyrically it's kind of subpar compared to the rest of the album but subpar Jay-Z is like asking your mom to cook you a full course meal and all she forgot was the salad. I think we can live with that.

I believe this is the same with the other single, Run This Town featuring star guest appearances from Kanye West and Rhianna. The production on Kanye's behalf is phenemonal. The drums and claps are captivating. Rhianna's voice and chorus grew on me A LOT and makes the song an Anthem, probably the only one on the cd. Before i run i listen to this song, cause "i can feel it in the air, the screams from everywhere." The chorus is pure poetry if you can't dig it, lyrically all i can do is shake my head. Lyrically, Jay-Z wise again, it's a bit average, just above average and we don't expect him to make AVERAGE music, let alone average verses. But as everyone knows KANYE WEST, yes MR. WEST, the LouiVattaonDon steals the show with this one. His drop, verse, vibe, everything was what not only put the wipcream and cherry on top but the sprinkles too.

Other standout songs include Empire State of Mind featuring Alicia Keys, Already Home featuring Kid Cudi, Venus Vs. Mars, Star is Born featuring J.Cole, and i want to put Thank You and Reminder on it as well but i'll explain why their honorable mentions.

Thank You is another Kanye produced track. It's different. Fresh of breath air. New. But i'm not really feeling Hov's accent although i like that he tried something different. It's a little too much i think, the bragging and boasting YET your suppose to be thanking YOUR FANS, that helped him almost go gold the first week AND kept him at Number one on billboard TWO WEEKS IN A ROW, which now a days is unheard of. Lyrically the track is nasty but it just doesn't do MUCH for me. If i could just skip to the third verse "I was gon' do it with the flow/But they did it with their sales/I was gon' 9/11 'em,/but they didn't need the help..." " Niggas thought they was ill found out they was...ILL/ And it's like you knew exactly how I wanted you to feel" Oh My God the flow was ILL!! or EWWW!!! lmao.

Reminder i think it's a good track. Lyrically one of the best in the album. Chorus is okay, i can deal with it as well as the uninspired beat that Timberland made. Mastered it sound SO much better than the first version i heard online but of course it's suppose to sound better. It's just that i don't know maybe a different beat, more gangster chorus this song could have been the best song on the cd.

Real as it Gets is a cool song as well but it doesn't do much for me. Hov lyrically sounds awesome. Young Jeezy actually surprised me, again, with some concious lyrics as well as an infectious chorus but i feel, again and again, that there's just something missing, that UMPH. THe thing that separates good albums to great albums and great albums to...dare i say "CLASSIC." The song is good though. Listenable. I just think if this was on a Jeezy album it would of been BETTER.

Hater is a short, catchy, new-age, futuristic, display of dope lyriscism from Mr. West and his big brother but this track too i felt had more potiential. Making this a little longer with a chorus, a real chorus but keep the back and forth, this could of easily been a third or fourth single. I like the beat. People compare it to the A-Milli beat or a leftover track from 808 n Heartbreaks but i don't know if i agree. Song grew on me, definitely one of the better tracks.

The problem is that it's hard to formulate YOUR OWN opinion with so many others influencing you and etc.

On to the Next One featuring Swizz Beats, just plain sick, as sickest as can be for Jay-Z. All three verses are MURDER!!! The beat, maybe a different production would have made this the LONE BEST track on the CD. But i dig it. FREEZE!
(god damn my hand is hurting)

Off That, Young Forever, and So Ambitious... Young Forever, i love the concept, the excution was good but the track just doesn't do much for me. I wanted something REAL EPIC for the last track. I felt like this was a track or two before the finish. Mr. Hudson's voice is nice but the production too Kanye was slacking a bit using the same sound he used for Supernova (Mr. Hudson, Kanye West assisted single) and Stronger (Graduation). Off that featuring Drake, the potiential was HUGE, bigger than HUGE but i think it dissappointed. Lyrically Jay-Z goes off, one of the best lyrical tracks, "Got blueprints on my white ipod," but Drake maybe deserved a verse or something. JUST SOMETHING WAS MISSING. Drake didn't seem uppity. He was kind of just whatever to the track. He didn't add his normal spunk. Timberland too. The knock of the beat could have been way better. WAY BETTER. Go download Bubba Spark's Ugly song and see the difference in Timberland production. The way Venus and Mars beat was is how Off That should hit your ears when you put your headphones on. So Ambitious, really good concept, outstanding lyrics but the overproduct, another short coming. DAMN YOU, Pharrell. Lyrically i like the chorus and shit. Dope. Hov came extra correct, teaching a lesson. Stepping outside his normal self to produce something grand. Potiential was high, track not so much with the delivery.

The problem for this album with me is that it is just above average. Lyrically and flow wise, NO ONE is better than Hov. Nobody not at 39 and certainly not at 26. I don't want Hov to ever stop making albums and music even if it means every album sounds like this one. I just don't want him to go and i know many of you feel the same way. I just wish something really, really stood out about the album JUST one track that everyone could agree was phenemonal. The closest two are Already Home and Empire State of Mind (two best songs on the album, Alicia Keys (in non-poppy) chorus (which was so heartfelt) and Kid Cudi's amazing chorus plus Hov's painting skills made the tracks amazing) but i felt like the bump wasn't right. When i say bump i mean the way it sounds when you play it in your car, top down, windows down. There was UMPH but not enough. The large amount of features bothered me too although it didn't really effect Hov except on Run This Town and Real As It Gets. Star is born should be right up there too because Sean Carter is also stepping out of his box and i'm glad he brought J. Cole along for the ride with him.

I just have to say this is an EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD ALBUM. Rolling Stone gave it 3 stars because even if Jay-Z is talking about the same things he's doing it really well and hip/new lol. I give it a 3.75. It was almost good enough to be a four if it just would've had that one track. I do believe though that Jay does have ONE Classic ALBUM left in him, I just hope it gets to see the daylight.

P.S. If you haven't bought the album already PLEASE DO!


GOD DAMN, that took me an hour...smh

Mood Ring: Part 8 "Empire State of Mind"

Hey yall, told yall i'm on my grind. lol. Anyway, this mood ring goes out to a new favorite song from Jay-Z's BP3. The song is, well amazing! It's so different from what he usually does/has done and Alicia Keys sounds magnificent. Many reviews i've read says that she sounds "pop-py." I must say i beg to differ. Live or in person i know she sounds amazing and is just as beautiful as her voice. As for Jay-Z "What More Can I Say" "He's an idol in my eyes" (Kanye West) and i just hope i get to work with him somebody seriously. I know H-O-V probably has his ego trips but i think and hope that deep down he's as good as he portrays himself to be. Everyone can be a dick so i don't knock him for that. It would just hurt never to be able to do a song with him...
Anyway, enjoy this one and i apologize if i'm jockin carrie, jockin carrie lol. Someone will get it.

"The city never sleeps, better slip you an ambien"
"I do it for the culture"



Go buy that Blueprint 3!!!

Review COMING SOON!

Mr.Feature (Repeat)

Here's a video i did for one of the songs since i didn't want to put it for download since i don't know what the fuck i'm doing musically except recording. I'm actually trying to find some beats now. But tell me what you think. I'm on the third verse so be patient. The song is hot without me but i think i had a little umph in it. Tell me what you guys think. i just needed to get something out. This entry will make me feel better. AND i apologize in advance if my video's suck haha. Let's gooo!!!

Mood Ring Part 5: All My Life

Jay Rock "All My Life" feat. Lil Wayne and will.i.am

THis is one of my favorite songs in recent memory, over the last year or so. the soulfulness to it is what grabs me. The beat thrives on story-telling so i dig it a lot. Wayne and Jay Rock murder this song, still wish i could get the instrumental but whatever. Right now this song is keeping my feelings just good along with the beautiful day outside!

in a jae millz voice "LLLEEEEGGGGOOOO!"

Restating: Time does Fly

Time definitely does fly. It's fucking up my consistancy with blogging and twittering. Shit's crazy. Soo saturday the 1st was DV's bday. Was pretty fun. I could've went to a concert with drake, lil wayne, etc, but do to my indecisive ways and nature I failed 2 go. Didn't go to the bball game. Or my friend's video shoot but it's all good. I cleaned up mentally and physically.

Dv's bbq was pretty chill. Hung out with old brooklyn college chicks and dudes. Even people I just met by playing ball with. So it was cool. I slept over and recorded a new record for beers: 7 beers n a shot of (disgusting)hennessy. UGH. But then the next day me n dv just lounged at his house n did nothing. Ironically, it felt overdue. Just laying down, napping, relaxing. I found this unknown, unique pleasure in it BUT it makes me go crazy doing that.

Next day, monday my boy johnny f and I wrote two songs and chilled. It was cool. Then went to a house party for an old friend's birthday. Got a bit typsy. (Side note: I never ever feel drunk, maybe it's because I drink more beer than hard liquor...just a hypothesis haha). This day was cool too cause I met up with another old friend, Dayna. Mad cool. She use to watch my games back in 7th and 8th grade. Sick! The golden age of my bball skills. But I feel pretty good now just going against the grain again.

Yesterday and the day before went to L.I. Hung out with my uncle. Finished a couple tracks. Hung out with him, ricky, and felicia. But it's too sticky over there. No AC in the studio or at mike's house. I was frying. That's why I probably felt like shit yesterday. Went to the studio again finished a couple more tracks and going back 2day. This week is actually kind of slow.

Still miss west palm florida with my mom, but I can't really do much about that, right. Stomach kind of out of wack. Head feels like it's falling off. Haha.

Anyone going to post two more entries.

Also follow my new rap buddy @
www.thejohnnyflife.blogspot.com

Welcome johnny! Holla

Revisitation Rights

Today I only have about 2 and a quarter days worth of time on floridian soil. This makes me melancoly. I think I want 2 be here more than I want to go back to new york. Which is extrememly wierd to be honest. Never thought I would feel this way. Miss my mom a lot. Love being here with her and my sisters. It feels right. Like real right. It's how it is suppose to be, ya know. Mom siblings, beautiful weather. Pool. Beaches. Yea allll that good stuff lol.

I've really had an incrediable time here so my analysis before I leave will help make how I feel more understandable. I feel free here. If I were to learn how to drive n adopt a bit more, florida wouldn't be such a bad place to live. Ya know? So I guess we'll see what my future has in store. :)

Anyway, when I get back I have a full month of summer grinding. Tons of money to spend/make, tons of music to record/perform, and basketball to play. :) my bball team in Brooklyn actually made it to the championship and the coach has been holding if so I can play. That's a big honor right there. I miss being THAT appreciated by anybody. I did get a couple text messages that made me feel good today. Hopefully all the plans become reality. :) ya dig?

Tomorrow I wanna go hang out with my mom, this kid chris, say goodbye to the CVS people and schedule my next two days out. Once I wake up, gotta plan and fit everything in. Including the packing lol. Hmmm...so I'm excited to see what a real (florida) studio is like. Cross your fingers people.

Let's keep the positive going. Anybody who reads this please leave a comment. Doesn't have to be about the entry but I want to hear what positive things have happen to you this week :) let me know! :) I love yall.

P.S. Beat Resident Evil 5 in 6 days. Whoooooo!!

ReVisiting

Please watch the video BELOW! PLEASE!

Now, today I talked to an old, very old friend dates back to Middle School old. Her name is Vanessa. Very cool girl. She just randomly hit me up and we just started talking, you know, regular stuff. School, major (school, lol), outside life, boyfriend. Turns out she does have a boyfriend and he's produced some of the biggest up and coming names in the underground. AND he has recorded in the same place with me, with people I've known for years.

CRAZY! She digged some of my music. I mean she listens to like REAL HIP-HOP so you know. It's a nice compliment when she says I have potential, flow, and likes a couple tracks. Haha. Not like she's an A and R but it's always good compliments with feedback. I really hope when I get back I can work with her boyfriend. Can't jump to conclusions but music wise, shit is going pretty good.

She did say ONE, REALLY important thing which is always on my mind. TOPICS. Spreading my ideas. Reaching out to a whole bunch of people. That was key because basically she reiterated what I already thought in my mind. SO I gotta step it up and I will. WHEN the TIME IS RIGHT. For now, I'm just gunna kill every track I go on. And show people I can spit and rock with the best at 19! Ya dig!

I reall hope this guy B/A (twitter.com/hansommanson) gets on my track. He's probably the coolest if not one of the coolest in MGM/Demevolist aka Charles Hamilton's friend. If I could have him a track would be awesome. Then to actually do a fresh, new track would be crack.

Should I go to a studio in FL, priced at 40bucks an hour? Hmmm?

Got some shit though!!! I promise. Woody I'm a send u some shit and I hope you enjoy 4real.

My ode part one going to get re-done n be online for free. It'll be like the street single cause I'm making a part 2 (genius I know). Sorry. I'm just re-shaping my mind and my blog. Better, bigger topics. You'll see.

ALL IN DUE TIME! Vanessa dumb cool though. I'll probably see her very soon. Me and Johnny F gotta get some shit done too.

Being in west palm is kinda like being in jail. I just think, think, write, download music.

Jennifer Anniston is my girlllllll! Sorry had to say that.

Anyway, I'll keep you updated on my "sex life" lmao and this Florida adventure haha.

NIGHT

202: Re-Do

Ayo! I am dumb excited about everything... the trip is moving kinda slow but I kind of still want to/gunna extend my trip regardless. I just need to be in the studio on some real shit. I deadass have at least another 20 songs to record and then I have to re-record some shit but fuck it. I'm getting two mixtapes done which is fanstasmically awesomillion. Yea I just made up my own word. Mixed fantastic with orgasmic and awesome with a million but it's hot. I think I got some fire stuff going.

If I can record two songs for either mixtape n then have one for the other than it's gunna be hot fire. I deadass have like 23 songs recorded(about 16/17) most people haven't heard and I keep working on more freestyles. Technically if I wanted to get the freestyles mixtape done it would be in probably 3 or 4 more sessions but I'm a chill. No timeline. No pressure just mad fun.

But I think the title will probably be called "ADD, the Free-styles" no song above 2 in a half minutes. So far I got some bllllooooddd fire stuff. I'm a record like 30 and cut it down to like 15. The other mixtape is a little more serious cause I only want twelve. I may change my mind though.

As we speak I'm working on the video for the audio below and I got to re-do like 2 videos on youtube and then do another video. I'm getting some ideas from people. I'm a be putting some freestyles up though. You'll see I'm dumb excited yo. Lol.

Anyway, florida is treating me alright though. Went to a house party, met some girls and some cool ass dudes. Drank a little. Guess there goes those 2 weeks of soberness haha. Thank god I couldn't smoke the pipe I didn't wanna get high anyway.the dude's name is chris that I first met. His house, his party. He works with my mom which he told me was wierd. But he's a really cool guy.

I would try to get a job but fuck it. Next year.

Anyway, I hope yall saw the michael jackson memorial. Hella crazy. Mad sad. The mariah carey performance was crazy. I'll dedicate another entry tomorrow to it. I mean I have to blog about it so I'm sorry if it annoys you.

Just thought of some crazy shit that happend over a year ago...that's crazy yo. Haven't messed with anybody in a min. And wild crazy months been passing by. In 3 months it'll be a year since I basically was (almost) with somebody. Wild!! On some serious shit. But it's all good. Eventually it'll come. Not her per say but somebody. Somebody to mess with, hang out with, act like we're bf/gf but not be unless shawty could change my mind. But I'm tryna be single until at least 22. well hopefully but if I get famous who knows. With the way groupies are and the way the male body works I ain't trying to fuck up anything "real."

Wow. Sorry for that rant. Shouts again to deville, berry, julian, audrey, and everyone else who reads my blog :) but aren't bloggers. Hehe.

Anyway. I'm chilling with my sisters so gotta go. Wish you luck ma. Be calm and positive and tryyyy please. Later.

199: Do You reMember The Time...

Hey yall

I haven't been fully blogging but I have done enough justice representing my mood through youtube videos and songs. Right now it's dumb early, I haven't seen 7 o clock since school ended. DAMN

Well happy belated July 4th by the way. This year was interesting considering my "o so" interesting last year BUT whatever, life moves on in a positive way and let's keep it that way.

Soo I got a little typsy yesterday, started freestyle, world priemered (terrible spelling) me and johnny's song, and just chilled out. Actually met an egineer who makes beats from chicago. Chill ass dude. Has a studio in times square so when I save some money WATCH the magic that happends... :)

F.Y.I I'm not even mad anymore about petty things like being invited and seeing certain people. Can't even say fuck it. Cause it's not worth that.

"In 5 years you said we'll meet up for a cup of coffee, well it's been longer than that, I can buy you a drink, yup time flies like that" -Jam Young "How You Doing"

Sooo I been living in college point the past few weeks up to today, the day I depart new york city for about 2 weeks and live the west palm floridian life. Interesting right?Nah! Lol.

I don't know I feel invigorated to write, I'm kind of excited about life, new adventure, new people. I'm still bitter, distraught, dissappointed, and broken hearted but I'm mending the pieces and slowly but surely am progressing.

I'm also an alcholic and a pot head lol. Nah. I believe in moderation, I could never get to that point. (My stomach hurts right now waiting on the longest line in history).

Can I tell you it's one of my fantasy (and probably one of yours) to either sit next to or meet someone hot on the same flight. Awww man. I pray one day it happends. I mean I don't know about any sexual escapades but at least "bagging" some chick would be nice. And just to add I have no girlfriend, nothing close, I'm not talking to anyone and the thought kinda sucks but whatever. I'm not dwelling or over thinking too much. I'm comfortable content. For now.

Soooo as of the last few weeks that's why the minimal blogging and the beginning of plan "re-birth" has been executed pretty well. I'm having a minor setback with certain people/person but it's all good. I get to see my mom today!

I haven't seen her since her birthday last year I think...god damn. It's been a long ass time. Makes me wanna cry but whatever, her little boy is growing up.

Now you wanna hear two crazy turn of events: I just saw my mom's husand/exhusband on line a few ppl ahead of mr. And the second ironic thing is that...I actually don't remember. I'm just really hungry.

Sooo I'm gunna miss therapy for 3 weeks and that has been going really well actually. We talked about michael jackson who I wrote/recorded a tribute song for. I'm working on a video so any pictures, photos, videos of anyone u know or of you please send them to me so I can incorporate them in the video. I wanna get it done by the month anniversary of his death. AND I'm trying really hard to rent a lounge in order to perform on his b-day so I can perform and "rock with you" lol.

ohh I remember what was the second crazy thing the guy checking in my bag thought I was 17! 17! Wtf?!?!

I know I barely have facial hair, and have a babyface but 17!

I know more hair makes a person seem older and I just got a haircut (shorter than usual I must add) but 17! I'm like 8months away from 20. Lol.

To paraphrase he was like "oh he's not 18, 17 years old have to go inside to check their bags" and I was like WHAT?!?!

I must also confess I have not focused on basketball much at all and just been on my hanging out, drinking, smoking, partying bullshit. But I have recorded 4 tracks this week and 8 the last two/three weeks. Proud? Yea a bit.
My old rap friend (who gets on my nerve from time to time)

Omg, another turn of events (sorry for the sporadic talk) he's on my flight. He better not be in my row lol. That would be tooooooo ironic. I'm not nervous or anything. It's just wierd.

I love yall. Yall means people. Everybody. Especially the bloggers who I follow and who follow me. We run our society and hopefully the non-judgemental intelligent society too.

Alright well, I guess my time of getting drunk will be over for the next two weeks or we'll see :).

I'm on four hours of sleep on the flight so I want to go to bed. Night. Until later.

Jam :)

just to REstate a thought

"I really wish I could tell you how beautiful you are. Actually how beyond beautiful you looked. I don't know if you "tried" to look pretty but you were past efficient. If only we weren't so far away from exsistence. From a memory or a life that seems it will never come"

Letter to my future girl...

Flowers, candy, everything you deserve
Shelter, water, even the L word

Once I mean it, feel it, everything I do will be our secret, just keep on the secret, until I take it off
So I can treat you like a kit kat and break it off

Never go soft when I'm with ya, never a real loss when I'm with ya, ying to my yang, yes baby I fit cha, even the seconds your gone, I miss ya

It's really ridiculous, especially when we fuss and cuss over nothing important
But arguments, can't avoid it
And your heart can't avoid this, there's a void, if you ain't my miss, anybody hurt you, they on my hit list
the world is my witness, to my testament of love
the test is when I can put nothing above, you

Not the clouds or the sky, cause they are your pillows when you sleep

And I will be your warmth, your sheets,
Our bond is deeper than an obis
Deeper than the blond when I slice my wrist

Cause it always heals back.

And what's true is what I feel for you
Because I know if another man touched you
I would kill for you,
I hope that's real for you

Just know...

I will always try my hardest, even if I'm not not the smartest, or can't provide you a real big house with a garden
But I can commit to a promise or promises, of continous lovely shit, that no other man can ever give

Even when I'm broke and down on my self
I will take care of your health and provide you anything else...

Mainly the little things that get overlooked
Not the fancy resturants that are overbooked

So let me steal your heart like a valentine's day crook

And cook you up, a life of perfection

Just tell me if this letter is going the right direction

...

Actions speak louder than words so let me show you