hey yall,
I know i haven't written an actual entry in a while but i just had something on my mind. I just dropped a new song and video (below) and i must admit it definitely IS, the best one yet. And i'm promoting it like crazy because i have the confidence that this song will impress somebody. But my question is about what about the people it doesn't impress? They're not the haters, who dislike without reason, they are the people who aren't convinced WITH reasons. I sent it to a couple of people who are in a good position musically and they gave me some advice, which i will definitely note when i write new songs. But i just wonder does every new artist worry about this? Do the rappers who are known on blogs, feel this way? Or have they become numb to dislike and continue to do what they're like.
The next and probably last song, i will release before the mixtape is "Dreamchaser" what i would like to think is the official single. I like the song but not sure how much, therefore it makes me question how everyone else will feel when it drops. I've re-recorded it a couple times and have one more re-do to do because i want it to be perfect. I plan on puttig it on itunes and want some OD OFFICIAL ARTWORK as well as an amazing video which might amp what the song lacks, if anything. Lyrically and flow wise it's pretty good, i must say. Roc's production is mellow but smooth. And everyone who has heard it so far says it's dope so maybe it's just me. of course, i want everyone to like it and catch on but it's definitely not easy. I'm sending my songs to blogs all over the place and only a few have posted it and maybe they are the only ones that have read it. WHO KNOWS.
I just can't give up and be persistant and FOCUSED. I can't let my insecurity, which has a been a big problem in the success of my life, get in the way. So now that i got this off my chest...i'm off to chase my dream
Showing posts with label Pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pain. Show all posts
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Friday, October 16, 2009
Life is the SAT's, Not Many People Ace It
Metaphors. Similies. Nouns. Expressions. Cliches. Verbs. Pretenious words.
Those are the things that make me feel comfortable and at times very uncomfortable.
I would just like to say I think we, as people, are our own worst enemies. Just felt like saying that. I'm not in the mood to explain.
Lately, I've been this oximoron. I been feeling good but at the same time, I feel like dying. I don't understand it at all really. Like I'm drained, all the time. I'm lost in class, I feel like, but I'm doing pretty well in every class by test scores and shit. So I don't know what it is. Wierd. I know. Plus things are also going fast/slow.
Like time is really wierd as well. I don't know. Feeling saine and not saine, is extremely confusing for me. I'm just in a strange state.
I have more to write and say but can't.
Just want send my wishes out to someone who has had a big impact in my life. I know mentally things areprobably worse than how I'm feeling now but you'll get through it. Maybe not over it but be well enough to live life to the fullest again.
Those are the things that make me feel comfortable and at times very uncomfortable.
I would just like to say I think we, as people, are our own worst enemies. Just felt like saying that. I'm not in the mood to explain.
Lately, I've been this oximoron. I been feeling good but at the same time, I feel like dying. I don't understand it at all really. Like I'm drained, all the time. I'm lost in class, I feel like, but I'm doing pretty well in every class by test scores and shit. So I don't know what it is. Wierd. I know. Plus things are also going fast/slow.
Like time is really wierd as well. I don't know. Feeling saine and not saine, is extremely confusing for me. I'm just in a strange state.
I have more to write and say but can't.
Just want send my wishes out to someone who has had a big impact in my life. I know mentally things areprobably worse than how I'm feeling now but you'll get through it. Maybe not over it but be well enough to live life to the fullest again.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Recap...
Hey yall, this is my second attempt to blog. The other entry is unfinished, unprepared, with the same title as this entry. I must admit these last two weeks have been extremely hectic and insane. Emotions scattered all over the place. Esepcaiily last week's friday. OMG. Is all I can really say. What I need I'm not sure. What I'd like is a relaxing weekend which hopeful I get. Full of drinking, fun situations, and stress-freeeeeeeeee.
I may be in a fantasy land for wishing that and thinking it could be reality. Who knows. Anyway, let's start the recap (and by the way this will be a hell of a LONG entry).
Friday: first day of school. You know the anxiety you get when you know you have a big day ahead of you. Well that's how I felt and on top of that I found a journal that I use to write in and remembered some pretty disturbing thoughts of the last year. Crazy last year. All my distraught feelings. Compared to how I feel NOW, I was definitely borderline depressed this time ago last year. Well I'm a year older, fatter, and hopefully wiser. That night and day I just had thoughts that made me so sick, mentally sick to physically sick, to the point I was gagging and in need of throwing up. That is not a good feeling my friends, at all. It's actually a really disgusting one. I actually was talking to a friend(?) About a past relationship I had. How this girl pretty much left me for the better of our relationship. Saying that we're partners and that we'd be together one day when she's older and blah blah. You could imagine after 2 years how I must of have felt toward this event. And when I think about it, I'm not gunna lie it stills bothers me. Not that I don't understand the intention of that but rather the risk and straight reluctance it took to accomplish that feat. Well regardless it happend. And the problem is every once in a while the situation is in my face and I kinda just want it to go away. How could somone just do that to me. I don't care about age differences or discrepensy's or whatever. So on top of that, school on friday, bad dreams, my thoughts were all over the place. DV, my brother, was having trouble too. It was just all crazy. So he did make me feel better. We bought a budlight lime each, watched hangover, ate yummy taco and tried to forget about the nearly finished day. I would've slept over it's just I had to do something saturday but thinking about it now, I can't remember what. Lol.
Saturday: definitely not even close as bad. When I woke up I was iffy. The thing that infurated me was that I missed therapy...ON MY OWN. Like I was sooo looking foward to it and I fucking missed it. I must be retarded or something seriously. Anyway, after I just went to work chilled with some my co-workers than I went to the movies and just relaxed.
Sunday: I woke up relatively early to see Final Destination. Technically the fourth installment of the series. Uhhh, it was pretty awful and FYI just cause something is in a bigger dimension (3-D) doesn't mean it doesn't need a good story line or even good actors. More gore also doesn't make up for lack of budget or lack of skill how to make the best of a budget. A movie doesn't necessarily NEED promotion. A lot of independent films get NOOOO promotion and are really good. example: Juno :) Anyway, that day I went to boulder creek for the first time since I was like what, 14 maybe. My boy John works there, so it was cool but the food wasn't really that good. And it was pretty expensive and we didn't even order that much. Crazy. Then I watched True Blood, which is the shit. I actually missed Hung :/ but I went to this kid who lived in a gated community with a crazy apartment on the 15th floor. Beautiful. Big ass television. Lol. His mom was mad nice. We saw Entourage which was pretty good. Just to say Sloan is fiiiiinnnnnnnneeeeeee.
Monday: I had my favorite class with my favorite professor in college already. His name is Brian Dunphy, he's really the man in my opinion. The way he makes students push themselves, makes us think and stimulate our minds. I mean I'm not the smartest person in the world and sometimes can't articulate myself properly but when I do, he will be one of the reasons I will. He helped me survive first semester. True story.
Tuesday: Could've made up my therapy session but nope :/ instead I started cross country which was pretty cool. It's pushing me beyond my limits. I don't know how I'm going to survive it to be extremely honest with you guys. It makes me feel good I can run 4miles (flat-footed ground) but I don't know. If I run for fun and play ball I should be good. I don't want to over work myself. I'm nervous already about my classes. But this day was really good. I actually felt good to be back in school, campus, with everyone. The sun was bright. BEAUTIFUL.
Wenesday: Another good weather day but not necessarily a good day. Class was pretty good. I did get an overtally finally BUT I still got rejected from creative writing and still have this class that I don't like. :/ anyway, I got into another FUCKING argument with someone that nearly ruined my fucking day. Like wtf. Anyway, I was suppose to run (not including 5 warm-ups, the cool down, or working on our core body) 27 laps in 33 minutes that was the goal. I did like 21 in like 37mins lol.yea. And like in the second lap my knee started hurting. It still does. It's weird. Real weird talking about this shit but whatever. Cuz I have to start stretching LIKE everyday and night. Shit is bugged. And she told me my knee is too high up and I will need knee surgery earlier than other people. Not good. But whatever. Let's not think about that.
Thursday: the aftermath of the argument that continuely progressed throughout the fucking day. I'm still very distraught about it. Shit is just bullshit. Extra bullshit. Meaning like a pile of bullshit that could fill up the empire state building. Anyway, besides that decent day. Work was good not bad, not great. Lol.
Today: well damn, I felt like that was quick but I just have to make a few sidenotes. I know this is a long entry but at least it's organized lmao. Anyway, I'm about to go to work now but at least u feel my good and bads.
P.S. I run this shhhiiiiiiittttt.
I may be in a fantasy land for wishing that and thinking it could be reality. Who knows. Anyway, let's start the recap (and by the way this will be a hell of a LONG entry).
Friday: first day of school. You know the anxiety you get when you know you have a big day ahead of you. Well that's how I felt and on top of that I found a journal that I use to write in and remembered some pretty disturbing thoughts of the last year. Crazy last year. All my distraught feelings. Compared to how I feel NOW, I was definitely borderline depressed this time ago last year. Well I'm a year older, fatter, and hopefully wiser. That night and day I just had thoughts that made me so sick, mentally sick to physically sick, to the point I was gagging and in need of throwing up. That is not a good feeling my friends, at all. It's actually a really disgusting one. I actually was talking to a friend(?) About a past relationship I had. How this girl pretty much left me for the better of our relationship. Saying that we're partners and that we'd be together one day when she's older and blah blah. You could imagine after 2 years how I must of have felt toward this event. And when I think about it, I'm not gunna lie it stills bothers me. Not that I don't understand the intention of that but rather the risk and straight reluctance it took to accomplish that feat. Well regardless it happend. And the problem is every once in a while the situation is in my face and I kinda just want it to go away. How could somone just do that to me. I don't care about age differences or discrepensy's or whatever. So on top of that, school on friday, bad dreams, my thoughts were all over the place. DV, my brother, was having trouble too. It was just all crazy. So he did make me feel better. We bought a budlight lime each, watched hangover, ate yummy taco and tried to forget about the nearly finished day. I would've slept over it's just I had to do something saturday but thinking about it now, I can't remember what. Lol.
Saturday: definitely not even close as bad. When I woke up I was iffy. The thing that infurated me was that I missed therapy...ON MY OWN. Like I was sooo looking foward to it and I fucking missed it. I must be retarded or something seriously. Anyway, after I just went to work chilled with some my co-workers than I went to the movies and just relaxed.
Sunday: I woke up relatively early to see Final Destination. Technically the fourth installment of the series. Uhhh, it was pretty awful and FYI just cause something is in a bigger dimension (3-D) doesn't mean it doesn't need a good story line or even good actors. More gore also doesn't make up for lack of budget or lack of skill how to make the best of a budget. A movie doesn't necessarily NEED promotion. A lot of independent films get NOOOO promotion and are really good. example: Juno :) Anyway, that day I went to boulder creek for the first time since I was like what, 14 maybe. My boy John works there, so it was cool but the food wasn't really that good. And it was pretty expensive and we didn't even order that much. Crazy. Then I watched True Blood, which is the shit. I actually missed Hung :/ but I went to this kid who lived in a gated community with a crazy apartment on the 15th floor. Beautiful. Big ass television. Lol. His mom was mad nice. We saw Entourage which was pretty good. Just to say Sloan is fiiiiinnnnnnnneeeeeee.
Monday: I had my favorite class with my favorite professor in college already. His name is Brian Dunphy, he's really the man in my opinion. The way he makes students push themselves, makes us think and stimulate our minds. I mean I'm not the smartest person in the world and sometimes can't articulate myself properly but when I do, he will be one of the reasons I will. He helped me survive first semester. True story.
Tuesday: Could've made up my therapy session but nope :/ instead I started cross country which was pretty cool. It's pushing me beyond my limits. I don't know how I'm going to survive it to be extremely honest with you guys. It makes me feel good I can run 4miles (flat-footed ground) but I don't know. If I run for fun and play ball I should be good. I don't want to over work myself. I'm nervous already about my classes. But this day was really good. I actually felt good to be back in school, campus, with everyone. The sun was bright. BEAUTIFUL.
Wenesday: Another good weather day but not necessarily a good day. Class was pretty good. I did get an overtally finally BUT I still got rejected from creative writing and still have this class that I don't like. :/ anyway, I got into another FUCKING argument with someone that nearly ruined my fucking day. Like wtf. Anyway, I was suppose to run (not including 5 warm-ups, the cool down, or working on our core body) 27 laps in 33 minutes that was the goal. I did like 21 in like 37mins lol.yea. And like in the second lap my knee started hurting. It still does. It's weird. Real weird talking about this shit but whatever. Cuz I have to start stretching LIKE everyday and night. Shit is bugged. And she told me my knee is too high up and I will need knee surgery earlier than other people. Not good. But whatever. Let's not think about that.
Thursday: the aftermath of the argument that continuely progressed throughout the fucking day. I'm still very distraught about it. Shit is just bullshit. Extra bullshit. Meaning like a pile of bullshit that could fill up the empire state building. Anyway, besides that decent day. Work was good not bad, not great. Lol.
Today: well damn, I felt like that was quick but I just have to make a few sidenotes. I know this is a long entry but at least it's organized lmao. Anyway, I'm about to go to work now but at least u feel my good and bads.
P.S. I run this shhhiiiiiiittttt.
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