Hey yall, it's about to be 11 o clock and I am NOT home yet. Suck ass. But whatever. Who am I to complain. The second game of our road trip was very thrilling BUT not the way it was suppose to end or be. Brooklyn College lost 97-89. Yea. Bad defense and plenty of second chance opportunities stretched this game to where the other team nearly dropped a hundred points on us. Needless to say as a team in 2 games we're averaging 99.5 points. Yea.
I thought this season woiuld be a little different in terms of what we came to accomplish and I can't blame it on one game so hopefully it transcends, picks up, and brooklyn college becomes a nationally ranked team with at least 2 championships. God knows we would love to win the NCAA tournament but first we have to get there.
Anyway, through politics, lack of everything, basketball minutes, being a sophmore, I totally understand the loss of passion and the feel of just being bothered and shit. People fuck with me a lot and I do a lot of dumb shit sometimes on the court and it just drains you, drains me as a person. Now the positive is that I'm on the team but I don't feel good. I had one great practice and one decent practice which is an upgrade to my non-exsitant practices. But now that the season begins I sit back on the bench and I'm a team playrt. I root for my teammates and understand completely why I'm not playing. I'm trying to make it work with this team but what if this team isn't where I'm suppose to get my spot? Sometimes the future and everything u thought of doesn't look too optimistic. It's rough. I kinda some idealizing with bball and became a realist which is the worse thing in my mind. Realist obtain what they think is possible, idealists reach for what is not possible and make it possible. And that's how I would write my life, a million times over, even if I suck.
There's just so many battles I have to fight right now. It's hectic. Like real hectic. And maybe it's time management or me dying inside because I don't know what the fuck is going on, can't take control of it, and don't know what's right/wrong and what I want done.
I remember plans never go according to plan. That's the closest to the truth that I can get. But life is like a deck a cards either u fold or keep playing your hand and I won't stop playing.
By the way this week is thanksgiving and next month will be my first official year in blogging. Something I think I tried to get a lot of people into but it tends to die out. I see why. In new york the world is soooo fast pace and with all the things people balance these days I totally understand the lack of blog entries. But to me I try to stay constant with everything, balance everything. I also have an agenda and a dream to accomplish. Part of that dream starts here. This blog is my extra therapy session, for free, and with no limitations. No apologies. No left out emotion.
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I'm finally waiting for the bus. It's freezing. And a ten page paper is due on wenesday. Dear god...
Pray for me please.
Talk to you guys soon. Hope you like the new layout.
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Rebirth of my life will lead to the changes that are necessary to make my life better. The revolution has begun.
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